Sunday, February 25, 2007

Date #63: Senor Swanky

Since I'm new to this Wonderful World o' Blog, I'm posting info about the past 63 dates (over the past two years) sporadically. Some don't even deserve a snippet of a mention... but others are just so memorable, they're stories that need to be shared (eg, the guy with the Christopher Walken voice, and six degrees of "Pierre Vert / Pablo Verde").

All that (and more!) coming soon! But for now, I present to you -- Senor Swanky (SS):

Backtrack to October: in desperation for a non-asshole, I gave eHarmony a shot. After a few months of them sending me the worst matches ever (funny, I don't remember asking for 50-year-olds from suburban New Jersey...) I had written them off – thought their “300 points of personality” (or whatever) philosophy was a crock, and had actually just cancelled my membership. I really didn’t feel like going on yet another new, lame date.

BUT… something just clicked with SS – lots to talk about – he’s in the restaurant biz (I'm a foodie). From Spain originally, but has been living in the US since childhood. (speaks Spanish with a very very sexy accent). And just seemed like an amazing, cultured, smart guy.

This was the first first date in a LONG time where I came home with a huge, goofy smile on my face. Great chemistry... seemed smart and fun... and yes, we ended up smooching at the bar of the restaurant where we had enjoyed tapas and glasses of Rioja.

Date #2: late brunch followed by drinks at his local bar for the Super Bowl. I really don't like football, thought I'd earn some "cool chick" points -- he seemed impressed and appreciative that I hung in there.

The plan was to then go back to his place -- he had a favorite TV show that he Tivo'd that he wanted to share with me. Lots of smooching... lots. Things getting very sexy, very heated. I made it clear that I didn't want us to sleep together so soon... he agreed.

We fell asleep -- I barely slept -- not very comfortable trying to sleep in jeans! And the next morning, things heated up again.. and being very much in the moment, we had sex. I tried to rationalize: since it was the next morning, does that count as the next date? Whatever. I just got a really good vibe from SS, sensed that he was genuine, and we were obviously very attracted to each other -- the sex was VERY good.

That week: barely heard from him. He cancelled our Thursday night plans (he wasn't feeling well), and came over to my place a few nights later, where we ordered in Chinese food and half-watched the Grammys. Much less of a vibe. Semi-OK sex, and he stayed over. We shared a taxi the next morning (me to work, him home)... and that's the last time I saw him.

We had made plans for later that week, but he texted me to cancel, on account of family issues. End of story. And I was totally fine with it. I e-mailed him to let him know that I hoped everything worked out with his family, no response. (Rude!)

Once again... duh!... just a reminder to myself, and whoever chooses to take a little dating advice: NO sex too soon! MINIMUM of 4th, 5th date... but of course even longer is much better. Sure, sometimes a girl has her needs... but there's a huge difference between a vacation fling, and a guy you actually like, and would like to maybe, possibly, potentially have a future with. In my mind (now), SS was a vacation fling.


Anonymous said...

Pablo Verde? I think I know him. Doesn't he also use the alias Petr Zelený?

dgirlnyer said...

Here's the deal, and I'm all for a woman satisfying her sexual urges, but NOT with a guy she is considering for boyfriend-dom. Sex complicates things. And it clouds your judgement. And theirs. My advice, find a "friend with benefits" and call him when the urge strikes. Leave the sex out of the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th dates.

Loverville said...

Hey D-Girl: yeah... I know. Live and learn! In this case, I don't think he disappeared because we slept together too soon -- I think he had too many issues anyway. Good riddance!

And yes, anonymous: I think he does indeed go by that pseudonym as well! Heh heh...

Anonymous said...

I've never had rules about how long to wait before sex, despite all the dire societal messages about holding back.

And then, about a year ago, I went out with a man I was incredibly attracted to -- we had that *thing* -- and in the midst of a passionate make-out session during our second date I told him I'd rather cool it for the moment and go out for dinner. I fancied the pants off him, so this was a very, very hard thing to do.

Sure enough, after dinner he told me that it looked like I wanted something more serious from him than he could offer me. (Huh? Dude, it was our SECOND DATE.)

Now while it's entirely likely that I wouldn't have heard from him again if we *had* had sex that night, so what? At least I would have gotten mine!