Saturday, March 31, 2007

Guy update + confessional

I'd hoped to have a few dates this weekend -- but I guess that's unrealistic, since I was out of town til late Thursday, and just contacted my potential dates yesterday, Friday.

Foodie Guy: played phone tag yesterday, but he did say he wanted to get together over the weekend. Dude... the weekend is running out. It's his turn to call, and I'm not exactly keeping my calendar clear.

AdMan: his last few e-mails were quite eager (while I was still away) -- I left him a message yesterday, no word back yet.
UPDATE: he e-mailed, saying he got my message, but is extremely busy with work this weekend, as well as a funeral, but would like to get together during the week. I have a good vibe about him.
MORE UPDATE: I Googled him, and found his Friendster page. His friends wrote some really nice comments about him, saying what a catch he is. Now I'm even more anxious to meet him, but trying to be realistic. As I always say -- you never fricking know. "Good on paper" means squat if there's no face-to-face vibe.

Three-Letter-Man: *NEW* Funny -- I have a history of dating guys with just three letters in their names, so much so that my friends tease me about it. ("I'd introduce you to Bill, but he has too many letters for you.") A few brief e-mails back and forth, and he just left a message on my phone, will call him back shortly.
UPDATE: we're meeting for drinks tonight, Sunday. He seemed nice enough on the phone, but I got the impression that he hadn't actually read my profile, only looked at the pics. For example, he asked if I was a teacher (I'm not) -- while my profession is quite clearly stated on the profile.

Note to guys: brush up on the woman's profile before making that call! She'll be much more interested in you if it seems that you've taken 30 seconds to learn a bit more about her -- that's why the info is there.

Adventure Guy: *NEW* Very interesting, mountain-climber type. We've had a few e-mails back and forth, but he's about to go out of town for 2 months.

Neighbor Guy: OUT. We had one date earlier this month... I e'd him yesterday to let him know I'm back in town, any interest in grabbing a drink? He wrote back saying thanks, but he didn't think we were a match. No problem there -- I much prefer that response to no response at all.

Confession: I have a bit of a weight issue. It's not huge -- but I'm about 10-15 lbs heavier than I'd like. Ok, what the hell: I'm 5'4", and currently about 140 lbs. Since I'm not *that* overweight, it's too easy to brush it off at times and convince myself that I look OK. But most of the time I think about how much happier/ sexier /more confident I'd be at about 125 / 130. And I've been there... have done Weight Watchers and other programs in the past, but then I'll get bored with it, and the weight gradually creeps back up.

Had a wake-up call this week while I was away: ran into a guy friend I hadn't seen in a while. When I hugged him goodbye, I mentioned that he had gotten so thin, and joked, "I wish someone would say that to me."

His response: "Well, you can do something about that." OUCH!

But he was right. So as of yesterday, I'm back on WW, with a short term goal to lose 10 lbs in 10 weeks. I'll report here regularly -- hopefully, having this info in the public eye (for all of my, um, 3 regular readers!) will be good incentive to keep this going.

Wish me luck!!!

Friday, March 30, 2007

Back in the pool

Just got back into town -- had a great time catching up with old friends, and it was good to get out of NY for a while and not dwell on the dating scene here. (while of course, dissecting it to death with my friends!)

Had a few e-mail exchanges while I was away with Foodie Guy and AdMan -- the ball is in my court, need to call them both and set up dates for this weekend. I'm particularly excited about meeting AdMan for the first time -- he seems like a fun, smart guy.

As of now, those are the only two contenders. I usually have some kind of communication going with at least 5 or 6 guys (it's good to have a backup plan), but I'm not really feeling motivation to serial date right now.

Question of the day: to other singletons out there, do you generally try to focus on one potential date at a time, or do you prefer to juggle a few?

Monday, March 12, 2007

The latest updates...

About to go out of town... any minute now. These are the latest contenders... will be interesting to see who's still around when I'm back in two weeks!

Foodie Man: after second good date on Saturday, he texted and e-mailed me today to say he had a nice time, and let's get together again when I'm back in town. Encouraging.

Neighbor Guy: never heard from him after first date Saturday, even after my follow-up "nice to meet you" e-mail Sunday. Not feeling optimistic about him -- too bad.

AdMan: A few e-mails in. I like his style, very fun banter. We'll see if he's still around in a few weeks. I have a good vibe about him.

Czech Doc: After not-very-good first date, I have no interest... and apparently neither does he, haven't heard from him. Good.

Hoboken Drummer, Kibbutznik, StreamOfConsciousness Dude: Have only had occasional e-mail exchanges, haven't spoken to any of them on the phone. All seem to have stalled for now. This seems to happen quite regularly on these dating sites. Will keep them on the very, very back burner.

So -- New York, I'll miss you! But I may cheat on you, depending on availability of cute, sexy Euro dudes.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Too Many Choices

Interesting article on having too many options in dating... validates a theory I've had for a long time: while Mr. Blue may seem like a perfectly nice guy, Mr. White has better hair, but Mr. Pink is better-traveled. Oy vey.

[and of course, Mr. Pink is saying, "Why do I have to be Mr. Pink?". Ten points if you get that movie reference]

On that note: another new possibility: AdMan. He and I had a few fun e-mail exchanges about a year ago, exchanged our favorite bad jokes... then we stopped. I recently dug him out of the archives, dropped him a line... and we've picked up where we left off. Won't be able to see him til the end of the month, but it's always nice to have more options. He gives good e-mail... I like that.

Second date with Foodie Man

(click here for info on first date... date #67)

I'm definitely attracted to Foodie Man (FM). He has a brusque honesty about him... and I find him very good-looking. Looks much younger than his years, excellent head of hair.

I let him choose the restaurant -- it wouldn't have been my first (or second... or third) choice... but what can I say, I'm a downtown snob, and this was quite a bit north of 14th Street. I was happy that he even had a suggestion... the last guy I consistently dated, Marathon Man, was quite clueless in that department. FM lived up to his name, and I was impressed with his wine knowledge. To decant or not to decant?

After dinner, to a local bar with lots of good kissing in a dark booth. He asked me back to his place several times (with the caveat that he had to get up early tomorrow for a race)- tempting, but I declined. Must stay strong, and resist sexual temptation... at least for several weeks.

To be honest, I'm not quite sure if I see him as Mr. Loverville... maybe just someone to have fun with? Too soon to tell. And since I'm going out of town and won't be able to see him til the end of March, it's on hold anyway.

Question of the day: when do you think is the soonest time advisable to sleep with someone new? Prevailing wisdom seems to call for at least five dates. I have one conservative friend who says she waits three months! Thoughts?

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Date #70: Neighbor Guy

I had a mocha, he had a glass of wine. I liked him -- thought he was cute -- and we had plenty to talk about. He's a foodie... we work in the same industry... he's a big traveler. I felt that we truly spoke the same language.

However... after reading an article recently on body language, I was analyzing his: he leaned back most of the time, away from me. Didn't make much eye contact. However, he did sound sincere when he said he'd like to get together again.

Unfortunate timing -- I'm about to leave town for over two weeks, so let's hope he's still around when I get back! I've had this awful pattern over the past few years: I tend to travel for work every few months, and for a while there, RIGHT before a trip, I'd have a great date with someone I really liked. By the time I returned -- *poof* -- they were gone. Dropped off the face of the earth. One guy (the French-Canadian) actually had a good excuse, he was moving to San Francisco. Others (Great Dog Guy... Sexy Cuban), just gone. Abducted by aliens, for all I know.

Tonight: date #2 with Foodie Guy. I have a tendency to be an over-planner. I like researching restaurants, bars, etc, and tend to take the reins when planning dates. However -- I've decided to take the advice of my best friend, D -- she said that guys feel emasculated when the woman always takes charge.

With that in mind, I let FG suggest a restaurant for tonight and make the reservation. It seems like he may have chosen well -- after all, he is the Foodie Guy. Stay tuned for the latest!

Friday, March 9, 2007

Noah's Fricking Ark

Do you ever get that feeling that EVERYONE you know is coupling up? And it's so damned depressing because you wonder, what the hell is wrong with ME, that I can't meet someone?

OK, pity party is over.

I really don't have much to complain about right now -- I just spent a week in the sunny Caribbean, scuba diving with family. And next week I'm off to visit friends in Europe. I know it sounds like a charmed life, but trust me, this is all happening on the uber-cheap. (and yes, I do work -- I have vacation time this month)

True, all this so-called jet-setting isn't exactly conducive to forming a stable relationship. It'll be good for me to get away from NY for a little while and put the dating game on hold. It can become obsessive.

In the meantime -- I keep thinking about some past exes, and their new loves:
* Kosher Guy -- I saw someone who looked just like him on a beach last week. He's married now. And while I'm VERY happy not to have married him (we came close)... I've been thinking about him lately. Or maybe I'm just missing that closeness?
* "Leo" -- we dated for two years, a million years ago (with subsequent flings for ages afterwards) -- and he's one of my best friends today. I love him for being a good friend, and nothing more (I think)... so why did I feel a twinge of angst when I got an Evite from his newish girlfriend for his birthday party? (I'm going to be out of town, thank God!)
* BikeRacingGuy -- dated for a few months last summer, have stayed friendly ever since. He's been happily dating someone else for a few months now. Not so much of a twinge there.

Squeezing in a few more dates before I head out of town again:
1. tomorrow afternoon: coffee with Neighbor Guy -- a first date. I got a really good vibe from his profile and on the phone. He lives only a few blocks away, but is about to move to another borough.
2. tomorrow night: second date with Foodie Guy. It's been a LONG time since I've been on a second date with someone, so I'm looking forward to it. We exchanged a few e-mails while I was away, which was nice. I have a bit of a tan, so I'm looking forward to wearing a cute little dress -- maybe even sandals, weather permitting. (ok, that's being overly optimistic...)

So -- other singletons out there -- do you ever feel like I do, that *everyone* is in great relationships and having hot sex, but you? Oh man... do I miss sex...! I do have a friend I can call for "benefits"... but I'd rather wait until my next serious relationship. [She says NOW... wait til she's feeling horny, after one too many mojitos!]

Speaking of mojitos, heading out to a friend's birthday party in the east village. 'Night!