Monday, April 30, 2007

Skinny vs. sex -- which will be the big winner?

A few weeks ago, I posted that I was starting a new challenge for myself to lose 10 lbs in 10 weeks. And I was off to a rolling start -- I lost 5 lbs that very first week. (from 142.8 to 137.8)

Well -- I had some setbacks shortly after. Some family issues that I can't go into here -- but let's just say that when I'm upset, I seek solace in food. (classic, trying to "fill the void" sort of thing) Yet while I was eating up a storm, I still managed to get in a good amount of working out -- so miraculously, I only gained about a pound back. (up to 138.8 as of yesterday)

Officially this means: I'm still within the challenge! Down 4 lbs in 4 weeks... and now that my head is "in" it again, I need to keep this rolling. That means getting down to about 132 by June 9 -- but I'd REALLY like to be below 130 by then.

To digress for a moment: today when I was kissing Portuguese Dish, I thought about how long it's been since I've slept with a man: nearly three months. And I couldn't help but wonder -- when the HELL am I going to fricking have sex again?!! Sure, I could find a FB -- but I really want it to be someone with whom I have SOME semblance of a relationship. That could take a while.

This made me think: surely, I could reach my goal weight by the time that happens, yes? Please note, I'm NOT losing this weight for this as-yet-unknown lover -- this is all for me, and my own confidence / self-esteem / sexiness factor.

So -- whattaya think? Which will come first -- the magic number on the scale, or the magic notch on the bedpost?

Either way -- would love any words of support you care to toss my way! So de-lurk, hit that COMMENT button below, and start talking! (if you choose to write anonymously, or aren't a Googler, no problem... but if you're a "real life" friend, include your name or initials in your post so I know who you are!)

~ Soon-to-be-lithe Loverville

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Saturday night out + Date #76

Isn't it funny how, when you're out having a few drinks -- the full impact of the drinking doesn't really hit you til you get home, away from the crowds, dimly lit bars, etc?

In my case -- now, at nearly 1:30 am -- I didn't even realize I had a buzz til just now, after I came home. And I didn't really drink that much, a glass of wine, some sangria.

Had a fun night out with Cute Jewess. We started at an uber-trendy local bar / restaurant, where I previously had a bit of a crush on the Cute Chef. Now? I think I've gone a bit lukewarm on him. I think he's way too caught up in that "scene", and I'm sure has lots of hot women hitting on him every night. Who wants to compete with that? Even CJ agreed -- it seemed like he was mainly interested in the fact that I had certain connections of interest to him. (that's not meant in a saucy context!)

OF COURSE we re-hashed our current dating situations! WTF is up with SS? (her guy) And will I have the patience to wait for a second date with AdMan? (my guy from last night) AND... I don't think she'll mind me mentioning this here: remember the FOF / Friend of the Family, who I had a first date with last week? She had a date with him a few months ago. And we also have another guy in common (CJ, OK to mention here?)...

For such a big city, New York can be a very small world indeed!

During the night, I had a few text exchanges with the cute Portuguese guy I met on Tuesday. Last I heard, he and his friends were going to some annoyingly crowded club in the Meatpacking District, did I want to meet up? By that time, I was done for the night. Boa viagem -- maybe I'll see you in Lisbon someday.
UPDATE: we met for coffee and a lovely walk the next day, and wrapped up the visit with some very nice smooching. OK -- NOW you can go home. I just decided that this counts as a date, since it was pre-arranged, and especially because there was kissing. So that makes this guy #76 in the past two years. (76 that I've DATED, not necessarily kissed)

Final note: CJ -- quite the maneuver, running for that taxi in those three-inch -- rather, FIVE-inch -- heels! Well done!

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Date #75: AdMan (finally!!)

Funny -- as I was getting ready for tonight's date, I realized: I wasn't even in the mood to go on a date! A friend mentioned that she was planning a girls' night in with another friend and a bottle of wine -- and that's exactly what I wanted at that moment. No effort, no being "on". But there was no way I was going to cancel on such short notice -- especially when it took so much patience to get to this point!

WELL -- after a month and a half of communication -- and after a YEAR and a half since our very first e-mails (it's easy to lose contact with people on this crazy online dating thing) -- AdMan and I FINALLY met in person.

What can I say: he was as cute as his pics. Very easy to talk to -- smart, funny, engaging. The bar where we had drinks was a bit crowded -- I was very aware of the fact that my leg was rightnext to his. No problem there.

I would have been happy to have gone for another drink, but he'd had a rough week, said he was exhausted. He walked me part of the way home, going the opposite direction from where he lived.

Our goodnight kiss effortlessly turned into a VERY nice, sensual, lingering kiss. For a few minutes. Then he said, "I'll talk to you soon -- good night!". And that was that. Totally left me wanting more -- perhaps that was the idea?

On my way home, I noticed "4" (one of my favorite guy friends) in a bar, and joined him for a drink. When I told him about the abbreviated kiss, he was surprised: why would a guy walk away from a really nice kiss, no matter how tired he was?

Question of the year. Along with the other question of the year: will AdMan and I actually have a second date, and will it take as much effort to book as the first date did?

Check this space for those answers, and more!

Friday, April 27, 2007

The Campaign

As I mentioned earlier, these days I've been trying a different approach to dating.

In the past, I've treated it like a job search: be aggressive. Make it known that you want the job / guy. Don't wait for THEM to call you -- if you want to talk to that person, pick up the phone.

Well -- that approach doesn't seem to be working these days. To steal a line from my friend "4": if I had a dollar for every second date I've had this year -- I'd have two ... no, ONE, exactly one dollar! That, my friends, is quite sad.

Like George Costanza, I now need to try the OPPOSITE of everything I've been doing wrong. Don't initiate dates -- let them suggest. Take your time calling / e-mailing them back. And -- this is the hardest for me, since I love to plan -- let them suggest the bar / restaurant / coffee shop. Oy.

I'm coming up with some catchy names for this campaign -- feel free to add your own! The person who comes up with the wittiest name will get a very special mention here ... maybe even in bold! What an honor!

Here's what I have so far:

F.L.I.R.T: First, Let 'Im Really Try

D.A.T.E: Don't Act Too Eager

S.T.O.P.: Stay Tough on Principles

The last one courtesy of my friends at dinner last night, as we sweated over deliciously spicy Thai food. Another alternative to the last acronym was "Stop Succumbing to Overwhelming Promiscuity" -- but I'm actually having the opposite problem these days (ie, lack of action), so that one won't work.

On the agenda for the weekend:

* a date with the ever-elusive AdMan! This is after eons of e-mails -- the suspense is maddening.

* possible drinks and overall rowdiness with the adorable Cute Jewess and company! Perhaps to be joined by the sexy Portuguese dish and his friends?

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Date #74: Mr. Reliable

I really wanted to like Mr. Reliable. We've been e-mailing for weeks -- he was away on a business trip, but wrote long e-mails quite frequently. When we spoke on the phone, the conversation was easy -- but it felt a bit too relationship-esque early on: he'd often ask what I had done that day... what did I do yesterday... what did I have planned for the weekend.

People can smell desperation, even if it's subconscious. That's the scent I was getting from him, but I really wanted to give him a chance. After all, it's refreshing for a change to NOT wonder if / when you'll hear from a guy.

We finally met today -- and yes, he was a "nice" guy in person, but that was it. I felt no attraction whatsoever. His profile only had one picture, and sure enough, it was the most flattering version of him -- and he wasn't as tall as he had claimed on his profile (surprise, guys do that sometimes).

We had a lovely dinner, and when the check came, I offered to split it, to make my intentions clear -- but he quickly gave his credit card to the waiter. (yeah, I know, I could have tried harder) I felt guilty that he had brought me some presents from his trip -- nothing expensive, just thoughtful.

Perfunctory kiss on the cheek goodnight, a "talk to you soon", and that was it. Did he know that there was no connection, the way I knew? Dunno. Come to think of it, that's how my date with FOF ended earlier this week, and I liked him... but haven't heard from him since!

Next on the agenda: supposedly, a date this weekend with AdMan. We'll see if THAT happens, or if he'll continue to live on in my imagination!

Also: heard from my Portuguese dish from last night, hoping to get together before he bids "ate logo". I like the idea of having a temp -- wish he was going to be around longer!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Bonjour / boa noite

Had an unexpected, fun night tonight. My friend Young French Guy (YFG) invited me to a "French Tuesdays" gathering -- I had initially expected a bunch of beret'd geeks sitting around with their flash cards, practicing their conjugations.

Au contraire, mon ami!

French Tuesdays is a bi-monthly, invitation-only party for Frenchies, friends of Frenchies and those who just like a good clubby night out. Proper dress (eg, jackets for men) is strictly enforced.

Vibrant, pulsating dance floor -- I hung on the edge after losing track of YFG and his friend. Saw a very good-looking guy nearby who appeared to be checking me out. I immediately dismissed him: usually New York guys who are THAT good looking are too aware of that fact, and are arrogant assholes.

Well -- Mr. Hottie started chatting with me, and I soon found out why he was actually a nice guy: he wasn't a New Yorker after all, he's a Portuguese tourist named Pedro, visiting NY for the first time. We danced for a while -- I loved that the club had dance music accompanied by drums and saxophone.

I must admit -- though he was very cute, almost immediately I started wondering how I could ditch him, thinking there had to be someone "better" for me to hang out with. Preferably a New Yorker, maybe someone with boyfriend potential? But as we danced and chatted more, I grew to enjoy his company more and more. Enough so that before the club closed (at the ridiculously early hour of 1 am!), we were kissing in a quiet corner of the club.

We exchanged numbers -- he's here until Sunday, so I might see him again. I like the idea of having my very own vacation fling, in my hometown. N'est ce pas?

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Date #73: the FOF / Friend of the Family

Drinks tonight with the FOF / Friend of the Family -- it was a set-up by our parents, who became friends recently. You know those days where you're feeling really good about yourself? It was one of those -- I was wearing a new summer dress that showed some cleavage (but not too much), I had a bit of a tan, my hair came out just right... I was feeling quite cute and confident.

Overall, I thought HE was cute, charming, funny, well-mannered… I’d definitely go out with him again. But what did he think of me? Not so sure. We definitely had lots to talk about: the family connections, favorite TV shows, we're both map geeks... but maybe it was too buddy-ish?

When we left the bar, I pointed out a few local hotspots. He seemed impressed that I knew the area, and I mentioned that I was a great tour guide, and I’d be happy to give him a tour of another cool downtown area next time. I got the impression that he was trying to be vague about "next time". Kiss on the cheek goodnight.

This is what drives me crazy: if this had been a "normal" date 10 years ago (pre-internet dating) I'm sure we both would have thought this was a successful date, and I'd have no doubt that I'd see him again. But since he's a cute guy, with a zillion options out there? I just have a feeling I'm not going to hear from him again.

Here's the funny thing: after we were introduced by our parents via e-mail, I came across his online dating profile. And I realized I'd written to him prior to this introduction, weeks ago... and he never wrote back! I have no idea if he made the connection.

The waiting game begins -- as part of my new "playing-hard-to-get" campaign, I guess that means I need to wait for HIM to e-mail or call next. That sucks.

Monday, April 23, 2007

The medium is the message

Out of curiosity, I posed this question to the dating expert Moxie: "is it rude to cancel a date by text message?". Very varied responses by her readers -- check it out here. Scroll all the way up for a sketch that appears to be the exact likeness of Loverville! (I wish...)

After TLG cancelled on me for last night, I was invited by my wonderful guy friend "4" to join him and a few friends for tapas. Jamon de serrano and sparkling conversation -- it turned out to be a perfect evening.

Tonight: first date with the FOF / Friend of the Family. Wish me luck!

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Spring fever!

I'm certainly not the only one afflicted -- every half-decent brunch spot in my neighborhood is teeming with people waiting for an outside table. I had a brunch invite (at an indoor venue) today but needed to cancel because of 1) a raging hangover, and 2) it's way too beautiful out to sit inside over eggs bennie. As soon as this oogliness subsides (I'm trying coffee, fried eggs and Berocca), I'm hopping on my bike and joining the crowds in Central Park.

Wherefore the hangover, you ask? The night started with Best Friend at a birthday gathering at a midtown (midtown???!!) bar. Met a cute, younger Israeli guy, but quickly got the warning from his sister that he was a player -- and the fact that he disclosed that he had a sex tape wasn't exactly an auspicious beginning. I wasn't bothered by the fact that he HAD one... but why tell me about it 15 minutes after meeting?

Then to Cool Downtown Cocktail Lounge, where BF and I were joined by one of our favorite guy friends. They know about this blog, and I gave them the chance to pick their own blog names: according to notes I took on a cocktail napkin, she picked "Dreena" and he picked "4". (his name has four "G"s) He stressed that it had to be "4" as opposed to "four", even though in journalism, numbers below ten are written out -- but this ain't exactly the WSJ, so there you go. On the flip side of the cocktail napkin is a sketch of the Pythagorean theorem -- what can I say, I was a bit of a math geek in school.

4 also told us about a recent encounter he'd had with a woman -- once they were in bed, he discovered that she had the most awful marathon-ravaged feet. Huge turnoff for him. In his eyes, a good pedicure is more important than a bikini wax. Any other opinions on that?

Tonight: date number two with Three-Letter-Guy. He'll get to see my pedicure (yes! Sandal weather is here at last!)... but I suspect that's the only downtown grooming he'll be witnessing tonight.
UPDATE: shortly after writing the above, TLG texted me to cancel for tonight, saying that he was out late last night, and was still recovering -- but "maybe we could reschedule for sometime this week"? Canceling by TEXT, a mere four hours or so before we're due to meet up? A rude, dickless maneuver. At some point, I'll e-mail him to tell him so. Dreena suggested posing this question to him: "While you were out getting drunk last night, did you also lose your BALLS in the process?"

Happy Earth Day!

Saturday, April 21, 2007

I'm back!

And just where to begin????

* with the French guy? He's a friend -- 10 years younger than I am -- who mentioned that he's into older women while we were out with friends tonight... and we proceeded to talk about sex ALL night. Cut vs. not. Going downtown vs. abstaining. I came thisclose to bringing him home with me. It's been a long time since I've had a hot, sweaty, naked man next to me... and I'm suddenly craving it even more than chocolate. I'm about ready to forego waiting for the next semi-serious relationship, and just jump into bed with the next available guy I'm even remotely attracted to. I need an FB. Or would that be "a" FB? Grammar police?

* with SexySmile? After e-mailing constantly while he was out of town, we finally talked for the first time. And I like him just as much via phone as I did online. Does this mean we're destined NOT to connect in person, as is my history? We'll have to find out this week.

* with the FOF / Friend of the Family? We were put in touch by our respective parents, the well-meaning matchmakers. After FOF sent me his pic, I realized I recognized him: not only is he on the same dating website as I am... but I wrote to him a few weeks ago via that site, and he never wrote back. But now that we're being introduced by our parents, we're playing phone tag, possible date sometime this week. AND... I learned that a friend (also on the same dating site) went out with him a few months ago. For such a big city, Manhattan can be one tiny little island. She said he seemed like a good guy, but there was no second date.

* ah, my beloved AdMan? Still corresponding... just might get around to meeting (finally!) for the first time this week. I'll believe it when I'm in front of him.

* with Chef? Who, when I saw him in his restaurant the other night was quite flirtatious -- shoulder touching, and all that. We talked about lunch this week -- potentially very innocent. Or not.

Spring is in the air -- and after this very gray winter (particularly this past week), I feel like I'm just waking up. I feel like it's the first day of spring EVER. And most of all -- I feel very lucky / happy to be alive.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Time out

I'm taking a break from dating (and the blog) for personal reasons for the time being. I look forward to returning to both in the near future.

In the meantime -- a friend who used to live in NY sent me this article. Note that the article refers to Manhattan as "the Olympics of dating". So true.


Thursday, April 12, 2007

A little bit drunk...

***note... I'm a bit tipsy, so forgive any misspellings, or just general not making sense!***

Just got in from a really fun night -- one of those nights that makes me realize I'm SO happy to live in NY!

My best friend and I celebrated her birthday -- I surprised her by taking her to what I had heard was one of the top sushi restaurants in the city. We did everything "right": sat at the sushi bar, got the omakase, chatted with the charming and friendly sushi chef, drank lots of sake.

After, went to the Meatpacking District -- I generally avoid this area (it's too much of an adult Disneyland -- too many people trying too hard to have a good time)... but on a Wednesday night, it was relatively mellow. Met a very fun group of adorable English guys here on holiday. Quite entertaining.

BF was exhausted, had to go home. On my way home, I passed the "restaurant of the minute" in my 'hood, decided to stop for a drink. I generally don't pop in to a bar on my own -- but I wanted to re-confirm a res for another friend's b-day there next week anyway.

Ordered a prosecco, talked to a very likeable couple at the bar who, it turns out, lives around the corner from me. While there, ran into the rather dishy chef, who I've met before. I pulled a high school stunt -- so silly, I can't believe I said it! -- I asked if he was single, that "my friend" wanted to know. (he is indeed single)

I know -- I should have just come out and asked if he wanted to go for a drink sometime... next time, I'll be more direct. I'm also thinking to myself: it's CRAZY to get involved with a chef! They have insane hours -- it's generally a seedy underbelly of a lifestyle. Read Kitchen Confidential for more info. But he's so cute...!

In other news: AdMan e-mailed today. Apologetic, work's been crazy, blah blah blah... but would still like to meet for a drink. I'm remaining skeptical til I have reason to believe otherwise.

And THIS should be entertaining: I signed up for SpeedDating this weekend! Stories to follow, for sure.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

The Latest in Dating News

Not a whole lot to report, really.

I just counted -- lately I've been in e-mail contact with about 10 different guys. With some of them, there's been banter going back and forth about 3 or 4 times, but so far only ONE has asked for my number. I'm trying very hard to stick to my new campaign, the "Let HIM make the first move" initiative. It's really hard. It's not like me to sit back and wait for something to happen -- I've always believed that if you want something, you go for it. (I almost said "make it happen", but I have a former boss who always used that expression -- and we all loathed her for it. So that expression is verboten in my book).

Actually -- this is quite interesting: SexySmile - the guy who invited me on his three-week vacation -- has been in touch quite regularly from his location abroad. It's a place I've been a few times, and am quite passionate about. Not only has he been writing regularly, but he also asked if we could set a date for when he comes home -- I'm a planner, so I was definitely into that.

My only concern: he only has one picture posted on his profile. It's hard to get a good idea of what someone looks like from just one picture. After all, who can't take a single flattering picture? So far, I'm liking him on paper -- we'll just have to see what the vibe is like in person, two weeks from now.

THIS could be interesting! I have a potential NON-online date coming up -- my first internet-free date in who-knows-how-many years. Um -- it's a parental set-up. My parents are friends with another couple, and they got to talking about their respective kids... and it came up that they both had single kids in their 30's, living in NYC, etc.

Since I know next to nothing about this guy, let call him FOF for now -- Friend of the Family. He left a message tonight -- sounds nice enough, good sense of humor about the setup. My mom saw a picture of him, and said he was better-looking than most of my exes. I'll call him back tomorrow, will report here soon after.

TLG / Three-Letter-Guy just called, and we set up a second date for this weekend. I'm still on the fence about him, but intrigued enough to get to know him better.

That's the story for now! No one I'm really excited about, but staying hopeful.

Sunday, April 8, 2007

Yum... and Monday blues

Last night I went to a friend's dinner party in Brooklyn -- "M" works for a major food magazine, and needless to say, she throws the most delicious dinner parties. I've been to a few of these parties, and I'm always impressed. The girl can COOK.

I also enjoy her parties because she has a very cool mixture of guests -- eclectic and erudite, and really fun.

There was quite a dishy guy there: cute, friendly, seemed smart. I was just starting to think how nice it would be to meet a guy through mutual friends -- til he mentioned his boyfriend. I have NO sense of Gaydar whatsoever!

In Today's Dating News:

Blondie: tentatively have a first date scheduled for tonight, but he wanted to wait til today to re-confirm. Hm. Not an auspicious beginning. I'm going to test out my new game plan, and NOT be the aggressor this time -- if he calls, fine, but if not, I'm not losing any sleep over him.

Foodie Man: blast from the (recent) past. After telling me over a week ago that he'd call me back "later that weekend" (then didn't), he e-mailed today to say he hoped I was feeling better, and maybe we could get together later in the week. Not only is this lazy and inconsiderate (dude, if you say you're going to call -- then call!), but I have to listen to my gut, and remember that I sensed that he had quite a negative personality. I thought he was quite hot at first, but this definitely makes him less attractive. He's out.

Three-Letter-Guy (TLG): talked a few times over the weekend -- he's not shy about phoning, that's for sure. Will get together sometime this coming weekend. He came on a bit strong on our first date, but he seems like a good guy (and has great lips...and is a good kisser), so he's worth a second date.

AdMan: A big case of WTF? Since my last e-mail suggesting a particular night to have a drink (after lots of playful e-mail banter) -- nada. I'm still disappointed, but am moving on.

Can you tell? I'm starting to get a bit disgusted and jaded with dating. I normally get a good laugh out of the failed dates, but every so often I'm hit with the awful reality that it is fricking HARD to meet someone that you gel with. And even if YOU think you gel, that's no guarantee that he's feeling the same way.

Online dating can be somewhat addictive -- it's like online shopping: "I'll take one NiceGuy, one Mike321, and what the hell -- the impulse buy by the register, NJDude!" It's also like a drug: you get a bit of a buzz when a cool guy e-mails you, or when you get a response from someone you've written to.

I've decided: less energy on these dates, more on friends, family, career, and finishing the three books that I've read half-way. Maybe I'll volunteer. Maybe take dance classes again, or language classes.

Onward and upward!

Date #72 + "Girl Date"

Two dates last night -- except that one wasn't really a "date", in the true sense of the word -- Cute Jewess and I met for drinks. Let me tell you -- she IS cute, as well as funny, smart and incredibly cool!

I'm normally not in the habit of picking up other women, (that ended LONG ago, details upon request! Maybe.) but when CJ mentioned on her blog that her friend bailed on her for Saturday night, I dropped her a line and suggested that we grab a drink. I already knew that we had tons in common, and would certainly have a good laugh sharing war stories. And we did.

Alas -- I had to cut the festivities short, as I had made plans for a late-ish date with a new guy (date #72!) -- let's just call him "Average". When someone puts on their profile that they're "average / medium build" -- that's code for "chubby". Call me superficial, but I just couldn't get past that. While I've admitted here that I'm no Gisele, and am working on losing a few pounds -- I couldn't help but think that this guy would be pretty decent-looking if he lost 20, 30 pounds.

Plus -- I may have been allergic to him. I've had wicked allergies (flu?) this week, and they seemed to have subsided over the past few days. About 20 minutes after meeting Average, my dry, persistent cough came back, as well as shortness of breath.

I was home in time to catch an SNL repeat, featuring the hottie Jeremy Piven (but I've heard he's quite a dillhole in real life).

OH! I mentioned the other day that I had gone on an online e-mail blitz, writing to about 15 new guys. After a few e-mails back and forth, Blondie called me yesterday... but it took a few minutes on the phone before I realized which one he was. Of course I tried to play it cool -- but I'm sure he could hear that tentative tone in my voice -- you know the one: "Heeeyyyy, Blondie, how's your day going?", trying to ask generic questions, as I wracked my brain for clues as to which guy this could be. Must keep little notebook handy at all times. Either that, or don't answer phone calls from unrecognized numbers.

The perils of online dating! That's not nearly as bad as the guy I asked, "are you feeling better?" -- confusing him with someone else, which he knew right away. He never let it go.

Saturday, April 7, 2007

Good news / bad news

First, the good news: last week, I had become frustrated with myself for having a few extra pounds -- then I got a shocking wake-up call from a guy friend. Since then, I created a challenge for myself: lose 10 lbs. in 10 weeks, using the Weight Watchers points system.

I stuck with it -- and as of today, my official weigh-in day: (drum roll please) I'm down to 137.8! Last week when I started, I weighed myself twice in one day -- one time the scale registered 142.8, and about an hour later it was 140.8. Big conundrum, which number to use as my starting weight? (yeah, I know, this is a huge problem when compared to ALL the world's problems -- bear with my vanity for a minute, OK?).

If I take the average of the two numbers, it's 141.8 -- which would mean that I'm down 4 pounds! Yes! Big Calorie-Burning Happy Dance!!! Feel free to do a little jig with me.

Now, the Bad News: and of course, it has to do with dating. Been having this really good e-mail banter with AdMan for a few weeks now -- he'll write that he'll call me, we should really meet for a drink -- then no call. (I'd already left him a message once, so now the call is really up to him. Damn, I hate these games.)

Two days ago, I decided to take the cyber-bull by the horns, and e-mailed him, suggesting drinks on a particular night. NO response since then -- up til now, he's been very good about writing back in a time-appropriate manner.

I can't help but feel that I messed up. My best friend often tells me that I need to NOT take the initiative so much with guys -- play a little hard to get, that *they* like to do the asking. I always thought this was a bit old-fashioned -- that as in one's career, if you want something, you should go for it. But I've come across some advice articles recently backing up her theory. It seems that guys WANT to be the aggressor -- the chase is part of the fun for them. Make it too easy, and they lose interest. Kind of like a dog that chases cars -- they don't know what to do when they catch one. (Please note, guys: this is NOT meant to be an insult, comparing you to dogs! I love dogs -- sometimes I even love them more than people)

QUESTION OF THE DAY: (week, year, millenium...) Guys, what's your take on this... would YOU rather be the one to do the asking out? And women, what's worked for YOU? Advice, please!

In the meantime -- I went on a little online-dating blitz, and sent introductory e-mails to about 15 new guys. As they say, throw it against a wall, and see what sticks...

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Life With One Arm

Thanks to everyone for your get-well notes -- I'm almost back to normal, except for this Tylenol Sinus loopy haze.

BUT my left arm (my dominant arm) is still in pain. Imagine trying to wash your hair with just one hand (since I can't bend my left arm enough to reach my head) -- it was actually quite comical. Looks like I'll have to have semi-grungy hair for the next few days.

Even funnier: trying to brush my teeth using my right hand, since I can't bend my left arm enough to reach my mouth. I looked and felt like a two-year-old learning to brush her teeth for the first time. Let's hope I don't get new cavities or plaque as a result of my inadequate brushing.

Some new potential guys on the horizon! Coincidentally, two of them wrote just before heading out of town for several weeks -- but they both sound pretty cool, so I'll keep them in my back pocket.

GlobeTrekker: total adventure traveler, sometimes travels for a living -- my kinda guy. He's already written to me from the road. Will have to see if there's a vibe when he gets back.

SexySmile: about to head to South America for a few weeks, sounded semi-serious when he said I should join him. This wasn't a sleazy "hey baby, hop on my jet"-type invitation -- more like, "you should meet me, we'd have fun" vibe. While I can be spontaneous, this just isn't feasible right now. But I did consider it for a second... even looked into flight prices and availability.

TV dude: we share a love for an obscure, underrated TV show, with other things in common. He seems sweet.

Blondie: while I tend to go for dark-haired guys, Blondie just seems like a cool dude. As always ... wait and see.

Three-Letter-Man: we played phone tag today, might try to see him over the weekend.

AdMan: e-mail tennis still going on. The suspense is killing me.

I plan to be over this flu thing in the next day or two, then I'm back out there!

Wednesday, April 4, 2007


Bleh is exactly how I'm feeling today. Been under the weather for almost a week now, just thought it was allergies -- you know the reports: "Worst allergy season EVER!"

Today, it's much worse - I'm convinced that it's probably flu symptoms. Runny nose, hacking cough, feeling weak, headaches. I'm one of those people, since I rarely get sick, it comes as a shock -- I regress, I get annoyed with myself and the illness... and I get dramatic.

And I'm REALLY annoyed that I can't get to the gym today -- too weak. Bummer -- I'd been doing so well with my "lose 10 lbs. in 10 weeks" plan. Yeah, I know, one day off won't make a difference -- that's just me kvetching and being dramatic again.

I just realized that my box of Sucrets (that's been hiding in the back of my medicine cabinet) expired in 2003. Think that makes a difference?

AdMan update:he had e'd over the weekend saying he'd call soon to set up a date (I had left the last message)... then no call. Today he e'd apologizing: he's been busy with work, he's been under the weather as well, etc, but he'd still like to get together soon. The suspense is driving me crazy! I can't wait to see if we click as well in person as we have in our e-mails. Once I feel better, that is.

OH... more in the "woe is me" category: I work up this morning with horrific tendonitis in my left arm due to tough workout yesterday. Can't bend it past a 90 degree angle, and can't straighten it much either. And it hurts like hell. And did I mention I'm a lefty? Ugh.

Monday, April 2, 2007

Date #71: Three-Letter-Man

Had drinks tonight with Three-Letter-Man (TLM) in a loungy bar. I'm very much in two minds about him: he was quite interesting, rather charming and had very sexy lips -- somewhat reminded me of my adorable high school boyfriend. And yet... there's something holding me back.

It's always flattering when you realize someone is really into you... before I knew it, we were sitting closer and closer on the couch, and he would occasionally caress my hair... and eventually, we were kissing. He was a good kisser, quite sensual. And he was generous with the flattery, not at all in a smarmy way.

He walked me home, asked to come inside "for just five minutes". I told him maybe another time.

I think one factor that may be holding me back (NOT just from letting him inside my apartment... never a good idea on a first date!) is that he's not from this country (but has been been living here half his life). I tend to gel most with other native New Yorkers -- we just seem to "get" each other a bit more.

Saying that -- we said we'd get together again later this week, but didn't set a day.
UPDATE: he called me today -- the next day -- to say that he had a really nice time. The main reason he called again so quickly is because he wouldn't be able to call again til later in the week, after Passover. He's coming on strong... a bit too strong... vamos a ver.

This is quite telling: as soon as I was home, I was more excited to see that I had gotten an e-mail from AdMan than I was about the guy I had just been kissing moments before.

Yeah -- must be careful about getting too excited about someone I haven't even met yet, no matter how great the e-mail banter has been! Fantasy can be quite a powerful thing... !

Foodie Man update: I'm annoyed with him, and have a feeling he may be out of the picture. After calling Friday afternoon, he said he'd call back the next day to discuss getting together over the weekend. Never heard back from him. Just as well -- I think the cons outweighed the pros on him (yes, I made a list). While he told me on our last date that my (clothed) breasts looked "spectacular" (thanks to the "good" bra and cute sweater -- see CJ for more info on the good bra!)... that was the only compliment of the night. Guys, if you're going to compliment a woman's breasts, at least use that as an addendum to a "nice smile" or "great hair"!

Weight Watchers update: this was my third day in a row of sticking with WW points (ie, eating super-healthy) as well as having a good workout (aching hamstrings as proof). I'm really doing this, feeling very optimistic! (however, to be on the safe side, I wore all black on tonight's date)