Monday, April 2, 2007

Date #71: Three-Letter-Man

Had drinks tonight with Three-Letter-Man (TLM) in a loungy bar. I'm very much in two minds about him: he was quite interesting, rather charming and had very sexy lips -- somewhat reminded me of my adorable high school boyfriend. And yet... there's something holding me back.

It's always flattering when you realize someone is really into you... before I knew it, we were sitting closer and closer on the couch, and he would occasionally caress my hair... and eventually, we were kissing. He was a good kisser, quite sensual. And he was generous with the flattery, not at all in a smarmy way.

He walked me home, asked to come inside "for just five minutes". I told him maybe another time.

I think one factor that may be holding me back (NOT just from letting him inside my apartment... never a good idea on a first date!) is that he's not from this country (but has been been living here half his life). I tend to gel most with other native New Yorkers -- we just seem to "get" each other a bit more.

Saying that -- we said we'd get together again later this week, but didn't set a day.
UPDATE: he called me today -- the next day -- to say that he had a really nice time. The main reason he called again so quickly is because he wouldn't be able to call again til later in the week, after Passover. He's coming on strong... a bit too strong... vamos a ver.

This is quite telling: as soon as I was home, I was more excited to see that I had gotten an e-mail from AdMan than I was about the guy I had just been kissing moments before.

Yeah -- must be careful about getting too excited about someone I haven't even met yet, no matter how great the e-mail banter has been! Fantasy can be quite a powerful thing... !

Foodie Man update: I'm annoyed with him, and have a feeling he may be out of the picture. After calling Friday afternoon, he said he'd call back the next day to discuss getting together over the weekend. Never heard back from him. Just as well -- I think the cons outweighed the pros on him (yes, I made a list). While he told me on our last date that my (clothed) breasts looked "spectacular" (thanks to the "good" bra and cute sweater -- see CJ for more info on the good bra!)... that was the only compliment of the night. Guys, if you're going to compliment a woman's breasts, at least use that as an addendum to a "nice smile" or "great hair"!

Weight Watchers update: this was my third day in a row of sticking with WW points (ie, eating super-healthy) as well as having a good workout (aching hamstrings as proof). I'm really doing this, feeling very optimistic! (however, to be on the safe side, I wore all black on tonight's date)


Cute Jewess said...

Ack, I'm already late to run and help my ma with Passover, but here I am commenting! Man, our dates are SO different! I still haven't kissed anyone I've been on an internet date with. You know what? Get excited about Adman. Why not? You know you haven't met him yet, and everything could very well change. But for now, why not enjoy the anticipation?

Loverville said...

Thanks for the tip... and yes, I do tend to be a bit of a kissing bandit!

Tho I'm not as bad as my friend Greg... he often sleeps with women on the first date, then of course never wants to see them after that.

Happy Pesach!

The London Dater said...

The fact you're more excited about an email you've received from someone else, rather than the date you've just been on, speaks volumes.

As for sleeping on a first date - I can only say that there are some major transatlantic differences at play here. In the UK at least, sleeping on the first date is much more common than the US (though, many would argue it's frowned upon).

Personally, I fail to see how there is a link between sleeping with someone on the first date and the chance of the relationship lasting. Many suggest that if you sleep with someone straight out, things never work out. C'est la vie, I say. If you sleep together, you sleep together. But then again, I don't place any huge value on sex. The grand irony is that the more women I sleep with, the lesser I value that process, which in terms means I am more casual towards it should it crop up on a date.

That said, I really respect the US way: dating and getting to know each better before escalating the physical stuff. It's nice.

The London Dater.

londongirl said...

Ah well the grass is always greener, no?

See how it goes with Adman I guess...

r. partygirl said...

Hi! I linked you too, glad I checked you out, I'm already a fan! & oh man I'm in the same boat as you . . . at my peak (a couple months ago) I was 140 & 5'5 & it's not like I have big boobs. I think I'm around 135 & also would love to be 125. We can do it girl! I've heard weight watchers is the way to go, since it really comes down to countin calories & it's a lot easier when the #s are figured out for you. *sigh* I need to stop binge drinking (for so many reasons) to get out of the 135 plateau I've hit.

James said...

Get out with AdMan - you need to satisfy your curiosity.

Kissing bandit eh? Do you steal kisses from unsuspecting young men?

SpanishGoth said...

Gadzooks - interested in what you blog but don't know what I could say.

Men are obviously interested in you, so that must be good I suppose (from a confidence sort of way) but, worrying about what people think if you choose to sleep with them on the first date - not so sure about that - if you want to, and I'm guessing you're not tying them up, ergo they want to, what difference does it make to anyone else.

Could just be my old 'being in a band' habits kicking in I guess...

Good luck with whichever one you elect as President of Bonk

Loverville said...

Spanish Goth:

Thanks for the tip -- but I'd much rather know a guy at least a little before hopping into bed with him. I think waiting at least 3 - 5 dates is a good gague.

When I hear from my guy friends that they lose respect for women who sleep with them on the first date -- that's all I need to hear. Double standard, sure.