Saturday, April 7, 2007

Good news / bad news

First, the good news: last week, I had become frustrated with myself for having a few extra pounds -- then I got a shocking wake-up call from a guy friend. Since then, I created a challenge for myself: lose 10 lbs. in 10 weeks, using the Weight Watchers points system.

I stuck with it -- and as of today, my official weigh-in day: (drum roll please) I'm down to 137.8! Last week when I started, I weighed myself twice in one day -- one time the scale registered 142.8, and about an hour later it was 140.8. Big conundrum, which number to use as my starting weight? (yeah, I know, this is a huge problem when compared to ALL the world's problems -- bear with my vanity for a minute, OK?).

If I take the average of the two numbers, it's 141.8 -- which would mean that I'm down 4 pounds! Yes! Big Calorie-Burning Happy Dance!!! Feel free to do a little jig with me.

Now, the Bad News: and of course, it has to do with dating. Been having this really good e-mail banter with AdMan for a few weeks now -- he'll write that he'll call me, we should really meet for a drink -- then no call. (I'd already left him a message once, so now the call is really up to him. Damn, I hate these games.)

Two days ago, I decided to take the cyber-bull by the horns, and e-mailed him, suggesting drinks on a particular night. NO response since then -- up til now, he's been very good about writing back in a time-appropriate manner.

I can't help but feel that I messed up. My best friend often tells me that I need to NOT take the initiative so much with guys -- play a little hard to get, that *they* like to do the asking. I always thought this was a bit old-fashioned -- that as in one's career, if you want something, you should go for it. But I've come across some advice articles recently backing up her theory. It seems that guys WANT to be the aggressor -- the chase is part of the fun for them. Make it too easy, and they lose interest. Kind of like a dog that chases cars -- they don't know what to do when they catch one. (Please note, guys: this is NOT meant to be an insult, comparing you to dogs! I love dogs -- sometimes I even love them more than people)

QUESTION OF THE DAY: (week, year, millenium...) Guys, what's your take on this... would YOU rather be the one to do the asking out? And women, what's worked for YOU? Advice, please!

In the meantime -- I went on a little online-dating blitz, and sent introductory e-mails to about 15 new guys. As they say, throw it against a wall, and see what sticks...

5 comments:

Cute Jewess said...

15!! Wow, how do you find so many that you like!?

Generally, I let the guy do the asking, even if I've emailed him first. BUT AdMan seemed so into you--so I don't think you acted too brashly. And he said he was anticipating the meeting, no? It's possible he's just swamped with work, as he told you before.

Or maybe it would have been better to wait. I'm similar--NO patience. I guess just see how it plays out. If he returns the email/call? Then no prob. If he doesn't? Maybe don't ask first next time and see how that goes?

I hope it works out for you!!

Loverville said...

CJ,

Actually, there were a lot of guys I had saved in "favorites" for ages and never wrote to -- finally dropped them a line. Also, I'm on both Match and J-date, so I wrote to guys on both. I prefer J-date though.

re: AdMan - too bad. I might try your tactic -- wait a few weeks, call ONE last time if I don't hear from him. Then that's it.

Off to the gym! Too bad I can't meet a guy there -- I see so many cute ones, but I'm convinced they're all gay...

James said...

I don't think there are rules any more - just do what seems to work for you. (I can't believe I'm giving dating advice!)

mimi said...

it's definitely true that generally they like the chase. however, i follow this guideline (or try to), that it's okay to take the initiative _once_.
i don't count those introductory emails, because i find that the men forget who contacted whom first. occasionally i take the initiative twice, but if you have to work that hard to get his attention, he's probably not that interested. --- that all sounds more systematic than i really am...

Anonymous said...

I would rather have a woman ask me out. I know it sounds chicken (does it? ...or are those just my issues?), but I'm sick of asking women out and having it turn into something where I think it's a date and she thinks we are just friends...