Thursday, May 31, 2007

Baseball as dating / Date #86: Real Live Guy

Last night, went to a bar with a friend to watch the Mets game – she’s a HUGE fan, and incredibly knowledgeable about the game. I only know the bare minimum about baseball, but she filled me in on heaps of details: the importance of the batting lineup, technique, etc. It was quite an exciting game, going into extra innings, with the Mets finally winning.

At one point, the Mets had the bases loaded, but then the next batter struck out, and the inning was over. That reminded me of the frustrations of dating: you finally think you’ve met someone fabulous. Your bases are loaded = he has all these great qualities that you like. (I’m not talking sex here) Then, next thing you know – you’ve struck out. All of a sudden, he’s gone, and you realize you’re not going to “score” a great guy. I’m sure these analogies have been done to death, so bear with me here!

It was near the end of Fleet Week, and there were two young Marines at the bar, just dying to talk to some “real New York women”. What little cuties – well, one was quite cute, while the other got slobberingly drunk, and insisted on telling me repeatedly “I’m a plaffusssunal – I’m a Marine!”. He was trying to convey that he was a “professional”. Indeed.

It was quite an interesting stereotype reversal: my friend and I had our eyes peeled on the game, while the guys sat patiently next to us, vying for our attention.

Tonight – had a date with a Real Live Guy (as opposed to an internet date), someone I met at a bar last week while out with friend Dreena. [Cute Jewess, hope you don’t mind me borrowing your Real Live Guy reference! It’s so fitting.]

RLG was definitely cuter than I recalled from our first meeting. We had only e-mailed briefly since we first met, and hadn’t talked on the phone – so I had only the most basic information about him, whatever I could piece together from that initial conversation.

We had a bit of flirty banter over a drink, but I felt that the conversation stalled a few times. Still, I'd consider seeing him again -- we'll see if I hear from him. No "real" kiss goodnight, just a peck on the lips.

Remember Witty Banter? We had that wonderful date last weekend, and I drove myself crazy over the long weekend, wondering when I’d hear from him again – while trying hard NOT to think about him. I finally gave in last night, and sent him a light, breezy e-mail, mentioning a new bistro I thought he’d like.

He finally wrote back today. I was nervous about opening up his e-mail, bracing myself for the “you seem like a lovely person, BUT…” type of e-mail. Instead, I was happy to read that he liked my suggestion, and he’s swamped with work, but will call me once things ease up.

I think I have a problem. WHY do I do this, get so excited about a guy I barely know? On first sight, he fits this image of the kind of guy I’m looking for: the “right” looks, height, occupation, sense of humor – but really, the truth is, I’ve barely scratched the surface. (I'm careful to keep this excitement under wraps around the guy!)

Anyone got any suggestions for turning down the crazy, and NOT fantasizing about a wonderful life with this guy? (or any other seemingly perfect guy who comes along)

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Guys -- what NOT to do

Desperation is SO not sexy.

After a few e-mails with "Chandler" (he resembles Matthew Perry a bit in his pics), I gave him my number. I noted that after he left one message, he tried to call me less than an hour later -- dude, what's the hurry?

Finally, after a bit of phone tag, we got to talking, and I found out that he was visiting family in California, and wouldn't be back in NY for another two weeks. After chatting for about 15 minutes, I told Chandler that I had to get going -- had plans with friends shortly after.

Him: OK, I'll call you tomorrow.
Me: (puzzled, since he was still going to be out of town for a few weeks) Well -- I have a busy weekend ahead of me, let's just try to touch base during the week.
Him: When's the best time to reach you? Afternoon, evening?
Me: Just try me whenever...
Him: Should we talk Monday night? You'll be around then, right?
Me: (getting exasperated) Well, I think I have plans... let's just talk soon, OK?

Next day: he sends an e-mail with three more pics, saying these were "more recent" pics of him. (so why wouldn't they be on his profile?)

And here was the clincher: he told me that he had showed his mom my profile, and I seemed like a very nice person.

Dude -- too much info. This is SO over, even before it's begun. Could this BE any more of a turn-off?

Perfect advice from Cute Jewess:
Danger! Danger Will Robinson! Abort! Abort!

Had another encounter with Hot Young Guy tonight, 18 hours after saying good-bye from our first date last night. I was in a bar with a few friends when he joined me/us. I made the introductions and we had a drink with the group before going off to grab a bite on our own. This is HUGE -- I generally don't introduce new guys to my friends until we're a bit further down the road. But since HYG will probably just be my summer fling, why not?

Why do I think he's just a summer fling, you may ask? A few reasons:
* I get the vibe that he dates quite a lot -- and he said that he hasn't had a serious relationship in several years. (oh wait... that sounds like... um, me)
* He's a few years younger than I am.
* I just sense that we're in different "places".

OK, I know I'm not articulating this very clearly. Let me just put it this way: it's just a gut feeling.

And yet? The chemistry -- wow. The attraction is quite strong. I have a feeling that sex with him would be pretty rockin'-- but I'm going to try to hold out for at least a few weeks. We made plans to get together again later in the week.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Date #85: Hot Young Guy

Have to make this short and sweet – a beautiful day is beckoning, and I’ve already slept through a good chunk of it because I stayed out with Hot Young Guy til 3 am. (our first date: there was kissing -- but no further action)

In a nutshell – while I don’t see him as Serious Boyfriend material, I can certainly envision HYG as a Hot Summer Fling. Details to follow shortly!

In the meantime: the guy who I WOULD like to potentially become a boyfriend – Witty Banter – hasn’t called yet, after our lovely date a few nights ago. I know he was going away for the weekend, so hopefully I’ll hear from him soon.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Date #84: Witty Banter

Just got in from a wonderful five-and-a-half-hour date with Witty Banter – it was everything a great first date should be: a mellow, fun dinner (OK, I broke my dinner rule yet again, but this time it was worth it!), followed by drinks at an outdoor bar, enjoying the perfect almost-summer evening. Engaging, interesting conversation. And eventually a bit of kissing.

I like WB... he's funny, witty, smart, cute... I just felt that we were on the same playing field. After last week’s supposedly great first date with Adventure Guy, I’m remaining cautious this time with WB. Have to keep in mind – even though I thought we had a great connection, who knows what’s going on in his head?

I'm just NOT going to let myself get too excited about him. One day at a time. We talked about getting together again sometime this week, but didn't set a day. So we’ll see what happens.

I’m NOT going to think about all the cool things we could do on our next date.
I’m NOT going to think about the great seafood place that I’d love to go to with him, where he hasn’t been, but has his favorite dish.
I’m NOT going to think how nice it felt when he put his hand on my back while kissing me.

No sirree… not going to think of any of those things, not at all…

Friday, May 25, 2007

Date #83: Super Foodie Guy

I broke a few of my dating rules tonight, and wound up regretting it.

Rule #1. For the first date, meet up for just a drink or coffee -- THEN if you hit it off and the urge strikes, MAYBE go for a bite from there. Why sit through an entire meal when you're just dying to dash out the back door? It's agony!

Rule #2. Try to have at least a half-hour phone conversation with the guy BEFORE agreeing to a date. It's been my experience that if I've had doubts about them over the phone, we never connect in person.

I was so impressed (via e-mail) by Super Foodie Guy's knowledge of food and travel that it seemed only fitting that we should meet at a cool foodie place. Because of our schedules, we only had a chance to talk on the phone briefly, and he seemed a bit too serious for me. Too late -- we had already agreed to meet, and it would have been awkward to back down.

I found out on the phone that he's not from the U.S. -- he's grown up in a few different countries. While I've been open in the past to dating guys from other countries (English, Irish, Brazilian, Israeli, South African, Australian, Peruvian) -- I've found from experience that I'm most likely to connect with American guys. Especially New Yorkers. Just the way it is.

Dinner was awkward -- I felt that he was a bit brusque with the waitstaff, despite his "worldliness". After we talked about our favorite travel and food spots, there were long lulls in the conversation. He asked if I wanted to go elsewhere for a drink or dessert -- I politely declined, stressing how tired I was. And that was that.


In other news: after 4 (or was it 5?) dates, I think I'm going to stop seeing This Guy. He's sweet, and we do have a good time together -- but I'm recognizing that we're very different people, and I just don't see us working out in the long run. I'm trying to be practical about my time -- as my mom would say, I'm not getting any younger! Rather than "just have fun" with him, I feel the need to focus my energies on someone with whom I could potentially envision a future.

On that note: two more dates this weekend -- Witty Banter (I'm especially looking forward to meeting him) and Younger Guy. Stay tuned!

Monday, May 21, 2007

Date #82: JK (Jimmy Kimmel look-alike)

Guys: for once and for all -- do NOT think you can get away with posting pics that are clearly from a younger, leaner time! We may be drawn to your profile with such pics, but once we meet you in person, with 20 extra pounds and a few more gray hairs... really, who do you think you're fooling?

Such was my date with JK. Besides the obvious picture switch-aroo, somehow he just wasn't nearly as funny and charming as he had come across by phone and e-mail.

Two Amstels later, date over. With daylight to spare!

Meanwhile, Nice Smile (who cancelled on me last Thursday) left a message this afternoon, asking if I'd like to meet for a drink tonight. I left him a message, can't meet tonight, how about later this week? Will see if I hear back from him.

And... there's another new contender on the block: Witty Banter. We've had a few fun, flirty, intelligent e-mails back and forth. In the most recent one, he asked for my number. Will he be just as fun and flirty in person as he is online? Watch this space!

Sunday, May 20, 2007

I spoke too soon.

About an hour after I wrote my previous blog entry, I got a call from Adventure Dude. When I saw that it was him on my caller ID, that giddy feeling leapt up again.

Well – THAT didn’t last long – I certainly didn’t see this coming: he first apologized for the other night, saying that he may have had too much to drink, and may have been a bit too aggressive. I hadn’t thought that was the case at all – when he walked me home, he asked to come in – when I told him I didn’t think that was a good idea on the first date, he didn’t push the issue.

He then continued: while he'd had a very nice time, he didn’t think this was something he wanted to pursue. There was someone he had dated some time ago, and there are still “things going on” with that. And he’s going away this week -- he had initially said “with buddies” – but presumably, it could be with this other woman. Doesn’t really matter anyway.

I thanked him for his honesty, and wished him the very best. And that was that.

So yes, I’m a bit bummed, but I have to keep in mind: it could have been SO much worse. He could have strung me along, getting my hopes up.

Sigh. I’m so fucking sick of dating. It just gets more and more frustrating. I feel so stupid – I’m actually crying over this right now, not because of Adventure Dude. It’s just everything. I know I’ll be able to laugh at myself in an hour or so, and will buck back up. But at this very moment, I’m just annoyed, frustrated, confused, pissed, exhausted, drained.

Moving on.

UPDATE: a few hours later, feeling much more level-headed about this. Took a great class at the gym, and talked to a new guy, JK (he looks a bit like Jimmy Kimmel in his pics). We're going out tomorrow night. As always -- we'll see!

Weekend wrap-up

As you may have already surmised from my last post, I had a lovely, wonderful date with Adventure Dude. In a nutshell: dinner, drinks, more drinks, sitting closer, kissing, talking, more kissing, talking…

In total, it was a five-hour date that just flew by. Very giddy-making. Second date already planned for this week.

He mentioned something about this being such a great date, that he’s feeling compelled to take his Match profile down… I told him that it was important for us to take this slowly. (though secretly pleased that he’d say something like that… but only time will tell)

Now, for the latest news with “This Guy”:

While I just met This Guy a few weeks ago, there have been a few things that have been weighing in the back of my mind already – things that I haven’t mentioned here because I didn’t necessarily want to admit them to myself.

He’s not exactly a romantic sort. I would toss a few flirtatious lines in my e-mails, and his responses would be quite perfunctory. I joked about this with him, and he said that just wasn’t his preferred genre for flirting. Fair enough... but if you can't flirt back a little bit, meet me halfway? Hm.

He’s very involved in his career – while this is a good thing, he did mention early on (unsolicited) that he feels that he needs to “get his life on track” before he can think about getting married and having kids. While I’m certainly not looking to get married tomorrow, when a guy states that kind of thing early on? Consider yourself warned.

I really don’t get the impression that he’s “into” me. It feels more like a buddy situation, with things only getting intimate once we’re alone at my place.

With that in mind: we had plans for last night, and even before my great date with Adventure Dude, I felt that I needed to have a little chat with This Guy. For one – while I enjoyed sex with him last weekend, I felt that we jumped into it too quickly. The little battle between my hormones and my brain led to the former bitch-slapping the latter. I had temporarily forgotten – oh yeah, I DO like to have more of an emotional connection with a guy before jumping in the sack!

When I mentioned this to him (that we had moved too quickly – I left out such terms as “bitch-slapping”), he was receptive, and very respectful of my feelings. This was surprising – HE then brought up the “where do you see this going?” conversation. I had to be honest – we both have a lot of out-of-town travel coming up, so it's pretty much impossible for us to try to forge any sort of serious relationship right now -- but I'd still like to hang out, and take it day by day. He agreed that that seemed like the best plan.

I’m glad we discussed this, and am content with the situation right now. Now very curious to see what happens with Adventure Dude! As Dating Trooper reminded me of my own advice: just enjoy the moment!

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Date #81: Adventure Dude

Just got in from a date with new guy, Adventure Dude. And let me just say – my brain is spinning. It was a really, REALLY good date. No Sexytime – not even close. But there was a connection, a closeness that I haven’t felt in a long, long time. Not even with This Guy.

Lots to think about right now. I hadn’t expected this. Can’t write details just yet, just need to mull this over for a bit.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Dating and karma

Have I angered the dating gods by over-juggling? Clearly, I was NOT meant to be out on a date tonight.

When I was out with T-1000 last weekend, we made plans for a second date for tonight. He e-mailed me a few days ago, apologizing that he’d forgotten that he had a work event tonight, but would like to re-schedule soon. He has a friend visiting from out of town this weekend, so maybe early next week?

Shortly after, I spoke to a new guy on the phone for the first time (we’d been e-mailing for some time) – let’s call him Nice Smile. We made plans for tonight. Which he cancelled late this afternoon – very apologetic, he got roped into a work thing tonight that he couldn’t get out of.

Thankfully, they don’t work together. But there seem to be an awful lot of “work events” going on these days!

For me? It’s a good night for laundry, TV and reading. Might even make it over to D’Agostino – let's hope the Weight Watchers frozen pizza is still on sale!
UPDATE: it WAS indeed on sale! The night wasn't a wash after all!

New resolution: every time a guy calls with a same-day cancellation, I've decided that I'm going to use that time going to the gym (or other workout, like my frequent downtown powerwalks with BF). Unless cool plans with friends suddenly pop up, like the wonderful Italian dinner a few weeks ago with M.

I'm going to be in kick-ass shape in no time at all!

Booze question

Question of the day: Okay, drinking experts... how is it that, after a few drinks – one can still feel relatively sober while still in the bar – and yet, you only realize that you’re quite soused once you’ve arrived home? Really, people – I’d love answers from you!

I’m not talking absolutely sloshed here – say, three glasses of wine, which is what I had last night while out with friends. But the soft lighting of the music-filled bar, compared to the bright light in my quiet apartment? That was enough to harsh my wine buzz, and get those bedspins started even before I hit the sack. What can I say, I’m a lightweight. A cheap drunk. A Two-Beer Betty.

Coming up over the next few days: a few first dates, then This Guy this weekend. Must keep it limited to one glass of wine per outing – especially for caloric reasons. The great Weight Loss Challenge is still on – only another pound and a half til I reach my initial 10-lb goal! Might go for another five after that.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

After sex... now what?

Note: this post has some excerpts from comments from the past few days. Just wanted to have it all in one semi-coherent, handy post. This is similar to Cute Jewess’s post on juggling – as she mentioned, we’ve been e-mailing each other about this of late.

As I wrote earlier, I had a lovely night (and morning) this past weekend with This Guy, with plans to get together next weekend (this week is quite busy for both of us). He’s not much of an e-mailer or caller, but certainly makes up for that in face time – very smart, funny, polite (and have I mentioned, quite sexy?).

So now I’m in limbo.

I can’t help but wonder what will come of this – my usual impatient “wanting to read the last page of the book”. Will this be a casual FB situation? Could he become a boyfriend, or will he disappear onto the mysterious bus? It doesn’t help matters that he has a three-week-long business trip coming up, followed by my own business trips this summer.

I know myself -- in this early stage with This Guy, if I didn't have other guys to half-focus on, I'd certainly drive myself crazy waiting til the next time I'd see him. I have no interest in sleeping with anyone else. Most likely it will be my usual merry-go-round of first dates that don’t lead to a second. (Then again, I do have one of those rare second dates this week, with T-1000. Anyway…)

Such is dating life in New York. From what I’ve heard from international friends (English, German) when you start dating someone in their home countries, it’s assumed that you’re just going to see each other.

Here in NY, assume the opposite.

My experience has been that you’re both dating other people until you have “the talk” that states that you’re exclusive – especially since online dating has become so mainstream. And even when you might think you’d be in an exclusive situation – eg, seeing each other every other day – you just never know.

Last summer, I dated BikeRacing Guy. We saw each other a few times a week (he lived just a few blocks away) and right from the start I had no desire to date anyone else. After about three months I brought up the “are we exclusive?” talk, and discovered that while he hadn't actually dated anyone else, he still wanted the option to do so, and still kept his J-date profile active. Not surprising, we broke up soon after. At the three-month mark, I feel that if you're not ready to TRY being exclusive, there's just no point.

Another reason to multi-date (early on)-- and I HATE that I have to think about this: I'm in my mid-30s, and I do have to consider that I'd like to find someone to possibly marry, possibly have kids with. Have to be as time-efficient with this as possible. I wish I could meet a guy and date him exclusively for him for X amount of time til we get to know each other... but I just don't have that kind of time. Tick, tick...

So getting to know a few guys at once seems to be the best plan for now, knowing that as we get to know one another, one of us may slip by the wayside. (shrink discussed / approved!)

Saying that... I realize it could still take YEARS (if ever) for me to meet a guy with whom I'd want to start a family. Suffice to say, I'm open to adoption.

Oy vey – this is getting too heavy. Here’s a little levity:

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Date #80: T-1000

I wrote a few days ago that T-1000 (aka, German Guy) looks a bit like the bad guy character in "Terminator 2", (scroll down for pic) but realized tonight that that's not quite accurate. He's really much cuter, and doesn't have that harsh, steeley gaze. And he's three years younger than I am. Can't argue with that.

Go figure – I liked him more than I expected to. He’s very sweet, and easy to talk to. He's only been living here for three years, but knows a lot more about New York than many locals who have been here their whole lives.

We first went to a swank cocktail lounge, then to a more mellow wine bar. I have to admit -- there was a part of me that was nervous about running into This Guy from last night. (aka, Mr. Lover) As I often note: for a big city, New York can be a very small town at times. Luckily, there was no such run-in.

We had a very chaste kiss on the cheek goodnight, with a short, brief kiss on the lips. I’m always looking at the potential for long-term – and it sounds like he’d like to move back to Germany at some point. But for now -- he's sweet and fun, so why not? We already set a date for later in the week.

Very funny conversation earlier with my favorite guy friend, 4. He texted me saying, "Congrats on the sex!". I called him back, and we discussed our most recent adventures in dating.

He recently had four dates with a woman he really likes – while they’ve hugged and have been semi-intimate, they haven’t “really” kissed – no French kissing as of yet. VERY unlike him! He went on about how he’s in no hurry, enjoys holding hands with her, etc…

Me: "I’m sure you’ll kiss her on the next date."

Him: "NO… I want to fuck her on the next date! If you haven’t eaten in a week, you don’t eat just tapas… you want the whole paella!"

Gotta love an honest guy.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

We have a winner!

If you recall, a few weeks ago I wrote that I was creating a challenge for myself: which did I think would happen first: losing 10 lbs, or sleeping with someone? I thought for sure it would be the weight loss -- surely I'd lose 10, maybe 15, pounds before I met a guy I liked enough to sleep with.

Well, folks, let me put it this way -- as of today, I'm down 8.4 lbs (same weight as last week).

Which means the winner is: yes, indeed! We "did the deed". I "got lucky". There was some "horizontal mambo". Any other euphemisms you care to share?

After feeling very attracted to This Guy last weekend, I sensed that I'd feel comfortable enough with him to sleep with him on our next date. I'm sure you don't want all the details (mainly, because I won't give them) -- but let's just say it was very, very good. I'm a happy woman today, and looking forward to more, well... happiness.

Still feeling grounded about him -- not quite the giddiness that I initially felt, but this is better -- I feel that I have more control of my emotions.

Part of my effort to stay grounded and not focus on just one guy (for now) means that I'll still be dating other guys. Not sleeping with anyone else, mind you. But if recent patterns continue, these will be first dates that don't progress to a second. Just enough to keep me distracted.

Another reason I don't want to focus entirely on This Guy right now is that we have semi-conflicting work schedules -- our next date isn't for another week. I'm one impatient person, and without the proper distractions, I would drive myself crazy.

So there you have it. Dinner AND breakfast (with a bit of dessert in between).

Happy Saturday!

Friday, May 11, 2007

An inappropriate question?

Last night, I was at a bar with Best Friend, Dreena -- at one point, two guys were standing behind us, and I noticed that one of them was rather cute -- great smile. I'm a sucker for a good Colgate smile.

Cute Smile leans over to us, and says to D: "I know you from somewhere..."
D, point blank: "We had two dates about a year ago."

Oh! This is getting interesting! Yet again, in a city as big as New York it seems inevitable that you'll run into your past at some point.

I lean in, along with Cute Smile's friend (let's call him Average Joe)and we press them for details. Dreena shares with us all (and reminds Cute Smile) that he had asked an "inappropriate question" on their second date.

Apparently, he had asked her if she had ever kissed another woman. He explained that he didn't see it as inappropriate, since they were in a primarily gay section of the city, so the question fit the context. She felt that it was simply a bit too personal for a second date.

As they re-hashed the story, it was all very lighthearted, and we had a good laugh over it. Average Joe was especially delighted to have a good story to share with their buddies over dinner later in the evening. Before the guys left, we mentioned that we were planning to arrange a gathering of friends and acquaintances in the near future, and they were welcome to attend. So maybe we'll see them again, or maybe not.

Personally -- I didn't find his question that offensive. Then again: one, D is a bit more conservative than I am... and two, I wasn't there, so maybe in the moment, the question just truly was inappropriate.

Anyway -- D now has a boyfriend (who, I'm pretty sure, did NOT ask her about girl-on-girl kissing on the second date)... and if Cute Smile presented himself to me for a date? I'll be prepared to ask if he had ever participated in Hot Naked Yoga in Chelsea. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Non sequitur: earlier in the evening, I had a drink elsewhere with friend A, and her friend C. C had a quick beer with us while her hubby took their year-old daughter to the store. She mentioned that the baby had just started walking, and likened it to a "drunken midget staggering on a boat on the open seas". I just found this description funny and had to share with you all. Or maybe it was the margaritas. No offense meant to any drunken midgets reading this -- sorry -- "little people".


This weekend: dates with This Guy (aka, Party Guy), as well as T-1000 (aka, German Guy). I've definitely come down from my TG High, which is a very good thing -- feet are firmly planted on the ground. Just looking forward to tomorrow's date. We'll see what happens from there. At this point, I don't foresee us having breakfast together the day after, but one never knows...

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Date #79: Brooklyn Guy + French Tuesdays

I think I'm finally getting better at not obsessing over This Guy. We've had a few e-mails back and forth since Sunday's date, and while he responds in a timely manner, his e-mails have a rather perfunctory tone. I dropped a flirtatious line or two in my e-mails to him -- no acknowledgement on his part of said flirtatiousness.

Harrumph! (am I spelling this right?)

We did set a date to go out this weekend, and I was initially thinking I might want to move onto the Wonderful World of Sexytime with him. But now I'm thinking I should silence my raging hormones, and wait just a little bit longer. Hey -- it's been over three months, what's another week or two? An eternity, that's what!!!

Continuing on my Egg Spreading campaign (as in, don't put them all in one basket), tonight I had a date with Brooklyn Guy. In case you're wondering, the #79 refers to the fact that he's the 79th guy I've gone out with since the end of my last long-term relationship over two years ago. I know that sounds like a lot of dates, but it averages out to 2.92 a month, or fewer than one man a week. Granted -- that average isn't quite accurate -- during that time, there were two different guys who I dated for about three months each, while not dating anyone else. Moving on...

Back to Brooklyn Guy: met over a drink, nice enough conversation. He's smart, well-traveled, knows his 80's music. I didn't feel a vibe, but it wasn't an absolute NO either. I'd give him a second shot.

After the date, I met Young French Guy (YFG) and his friends for another installment of French Tuesdays. YFG was running late, so I got a drink and wandered around, checking out the gorgeous, well-dressed crowd. I spotted a guy who looked familiar -- I went over and asked, "Are you (Neighbor Guy)?". Indeed -- I recognized him from We had exchanged a few e-mails, but never went further than that -- these things happen often in the world of online dating.

We chatted for a while, and while I definitely found him to be good-looking, there was a slightly pompous vibe about him. He managed to slip into the conversation that he had traveled to 32 countries -- I felt that I'd be a braggart as well if I mentioned that I had been to more than that. And yet -- I DO like a guy who is well-traveled. And he was certainly charming. We said we'd be in touch soon -- we'll see if that actually happens.

I found YFG and his friends, and their friends. Wound up dancing most of the night with a rather cute blondish German guy -- not my usual type. I generally go for dark-haired Mediterreanean-ish guys. This one lives here, unlike the Portuguese dish who I met at the last FT event, who was only visiting for the week. German Guy looks like the bad guy in Terminator 2 (T-1000):

We exchanged contact info, said we'd maybe get together over the weekend. With T-1000 (good blog name, eh?), I'm definitely leaving it up to him to contact me. He was quite drunk by the end of the evening, so it'll be interesting to see if he remembers me -- or if he'll look at my name in his phone tomorrow, and think, "who the hell is (Loverville)?"

Quite a fun, full night! Even if nothing comes out of these new prospects, I had a good time and burned about a zillion calories on the dance floor!

Monday, May 7, 2007

Date #78: This Guy

I'm happy to say that unlike two previous dates this week, This Guy (the one who I was really looking forward to seeing) not only did NOT cancel... we had the perfect day together!

It was a gorgeous day here in NYC -- we had an excellent brunch at an outdoor cafe, followed by a walk along the Hudson River. Engaging, easy conversation... some good smooching... best date I've had in a long, long time.

In case you couldn't tell - I really like him. While I really don't feel like dating other guys right now, a part of me feels that I "have to"... don't want to get my hopes up about him just yet. It just happens that I already have the week ahead pretty much scheduled -- plans with family and friends almost every night. Oh gee, what a shame -- no time for other dates. Wouldya just look at that...!

It’s a really good, warm, fuzzy feeling, this excited feeling over a new guy. At the same time – it’s scary. I almost don’t want to revel in these good vibes, just in case it doesn’t work out. Best Friend and I have had this conversation many times: I always insist that it’s GOOD to get excited, even if you’re let down later. At least you HAD the Good Feeling at one point, even if it’s followed by disappointment. Just have to wait and see. Times like this – I’m so impatient. I want to turn to that last page in the book, and see how it works out.

This Guy and I talked about grabbing a drink sometime later this week, but didn't set a specific day. I'm thinking a weekend night might be nice... perhaps followed by breakfast...

To borrow M’s expression: very watch-this-space! Thanks for the loan, M! And thank you even more for having the party where I met This Guy!

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Date #77: Saturday Night Guy

Even if I didn't have This Guy from last night on my mind, I wouldn't have been into tonight's date, Saturday Night Guy. Nice enough guy, just not my type.

Which made me think: if I'd met This Guy via an online dating site, would we have clicked? With internet dating, there's so much pressure -- if you don't click in that first hour, forget it. I can barely remember how the casual chatting developed into attraction with TG (OK, blame the margaritas for that). I wasn't "boyfriend shopping", I was just enjoying being there. He just happened to be especially interesting... and cute.

Little side note about tonight's date with Saturday Guy -- days ago, we had decided that tonight we'd meet at a new wine bar that neither of us had been to. About an hour before the date, I checked a map, and saw that the bar was RIGHT around the corner from This Guy's apartment. Not a good way to start off, with TG possibly seeing me on a date with another guy, a mere 16 hours after leaving his apartment.

I needed a good excuse for changing the venue, so I called Saturday Guy and mentioned that since it was such a nice evening out, why didn't we go somewhere with outdoor seating? He agreed, and I suggested a bar that was a bit further away. After an hour or so, I mentioned how tired I was (true), and headed home.

This Guy and I made plans to get together tomorrow afternoon -- I hope that still happens, and that he doesn't succumb to the epidemic of the Date Cancellers.

The race is on!

Oh man... I'm so giddy, I don't know where to begin!

If you recall, earlier this week I wrote about a little challenge I devised for myself -- which will happen first, a) lose 10 lbs, or b) have some "sexytime" with a new guy? OK... it's not really a "challenge" -- they're just two things I'd really like to happen, and I think that accomplishing "a" will lead to greater self-esteem, which will lead to "b". Either way, I win.

Well -- I may be heading towards both of these goals, simultaneously -- and I'm VERY excited about both of them!

I think I'll keep you waiting for the really juicy stuff. But this is pretty thrilling for me: as of today, I'm down to 134.4 (from 142.8) -- a loss of 8.4 lbs in the past 5 weeks! (I was shooting for a pound a week) Somehow, I lost 4 pounds this past week alone. However -- I think some of that may be due to the fact that I didn't eat much yesterday, AND drank quite a bit last night (maybe dehydrated?). Whatever -- I'll take it! Am feeling a bit slimmer, and more confident already.

I know -- you're thinking, get to the good stuff already!

So -- last night food writer friend M had one of her kick-ass parties - this time she really outdid herself (so a big shout-out to Shmutti Weber, if you're reading this!!). Homemade EVERYTHING: tamales (she worked on them all week), tomatillo salsa, spicy chocolate cookies, chorizo, guacamole... the girl is unstoppable.

She had live music -- a four-piece jazz band. Who does that??! And the crowd -- fun, lively, international, intellectual. Best party I've been to in a long, long time.

And then there was This Guy -- we started chatting next to the margarita table. I got tipsy a bit early in the party thanks to the muy fuerte margaritas made by M's brother A. Actually, the early part of the evening is a bit of a blur. I wasn't sloppy drunk, just a bit... jolly.

So I'm not sure exactly what This Guy and I talked about early on, or how the flirting started. I am happy that I stopped drinking, and my "jolly" drunkenness had been downgraded to merely "tipsy" when TG and I decided to leave together. The kissing started in the taxi as we went over the Brooklyn Bridge -- very romantic (his words). Neither of us wanted to drink more, so we wound up back at his place.

While there was no "sexytime" in the Borat sense of the word, it was still a very sexy time indeed. Under that intellectual (but still cute) exterior, TG hid one hot, life-long-athletics body. Having that kind of intimacy after a three-month dry spell felt, well, -- pretty amazing.

He asked me to stay over, but I thought that was better saved for another time. He walked me to a taxi, and I got home after 4 am.

I must admit -- I'm a bit intimidated (yet turned on) by his intellect. I can't go into details what he does for a living, but let's just say: this is one smart fella. I'm not doubting myself -- we're just knowledgeable about different fields.

We made plans for tomorrow. While I know better than to get TOO optimistic about a guy this early on -- I have a good feeling about him. It just feels different than all those anonymous online dates I've been on. It's more organic. We'll just have to see where this leads -- but for today, I have a big, goofy smile on my face.

Yet -- I have a date with someone else tonight. Let's just call him "Saturday" for now. I'm so excited about This Guy from last night, I'm not really in the mood to see Saturday tonight. But as I'm always preaching to my other online-dating friends: don't keep all your eggs in one basket. So I'm taking my eggs out with Mr. Saturday Night tonight... but am especially looking forward to seeing This Guy again tomorrow.

Friday, May 4, 2007

It's an epidemic!

It's like one of those bad horror films -- an epidemic starts taking over a small town: "but little Timmy was feeling just fine yesterday!"

In this case, the epidemic is causing guys to cancel on dates left and right. Ask Cute Jewess -- she's seeing it as well! Maybe they're retreating to pods deep in the center of the earth, with an endless supply of chicken wings and TVs showing constant baseball and porn.

I started off the week with three dates planned -- now I'm down to one.

Last night JK cancelled about two hours before the date -- work was crazy. He left a message AND texted -- when I texted him back with "no problem, let's talk next week", he texted back immediately, thanking me for understanding.

Today, Thursday Guy (I haven't determined a good blog name for him yet) e-mailed in the early afternoon to cancel, saying he wasn't feeling well -- then left a message to make sure I got his e-mail, and could we re-schedule for next week?

I bear no grudge against either of them -- they both cancelled in the most polite way possible. And after last night's cancellation, I enjoyed a fabulous dinner with foodie friend M, so it turned out to be a lovely evening.

If Saturday Guy cancels? Then I'll know there's something in the air.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Shoes, booze and ... dudes


Don't say I didn't warn you...
Lately, work has been nice and quiet -- when it's busy, I can easily be there til 10, 11 pm. But it's been quite mellow of late, which is definitely a boon to my social life.

Last night I went with old friend L to the opening of her friend's new bar-restaurant -- nothing like free food and booze to attract a crowd. It's been ages since I've met a guy in a real-life, non-online situation, so this night I gave it my best effort. (I'm not counting Portuguese Dish, since he was only here for a week).

After about ten minutes of chatting, Cute Long-Haired guy had to go "find his friends" (was that a wedding ring on that finger... or just a big, funky band?). Then a nice conversation with Hoboken Guy. After we started talking about upcoming trips, he casually mentioned his trip to Italy next month with his girlfriend. Next!

Really... they should wear labels: "single and looking!"... "only looking for one night stand"... "just divorced and on the rebound"!

Then there was the hottie I planted myself across on the subway... he got off at my stop. Good sign, you might think? Probably not -- I live in a neighborhood with a large gay population. Ah well... I enjoyed ogling him in my tipsy state.
Tonight: I attended the opening of a new dessert bar with food writer friend M, with plans afterwards for a first date with JK (initials of a celebrity he resembles in his picture). As I was in a taxi to meet M, I got a voice message from JK -- very sorry, work was hectic and he had to cancel. WHat's going on that's making guys cancel on dates left and right these days?? He followed this with a text, and sounded appropriately apologetic -- so we'll see what happens as far as re-scheduling. I have a busy week ahead of me, so maybe next week?

The dessert bar was sugar-high delicious -- M and I followed it up with dinner at a nearby Italian restaurant. I learned from her that fava beans are in season in Italy right now -- did you know that? She always amazes me with her food knowledge.
Feeling kinda cute in my "springtime date" outfit - skirt, high heels, etc -- as I was on my way home, I almost popped into nearby Trendy Restaurant, where I've had an ongoing flirtation with the Cute Chef. I think he's annoyed with me -- last week, we made tentative plans for lunch a few days later, and then proceeded to flake on each other. Here's what transpired:

By about 12-ish on the planned day I still hadn't heard from him, so I gave him a call (he can be a bit well, forgetful).
Cute Chef: I'm sorry -- I'd forgotten that I had this project this morning -- can we meet around 2?
Me: No problem.
However -- it was a GORGEOUS day out, probably the only good day for biking all week. He called back just before 2, asking where I'd like to meet.
Me: Actually -- I'd really like to get in a bike ride -- can we meet for a drink later today?
CC: No problem -- call me when you get in. Enjoy.

I called later that afternoon. Left a message. No reply.

Coming home tonight, I quickly decided against popping in to see him. Probably best to give it another week or so, then next time I'm there mention casually, "hey, sorry we didn't have a chance to connect last week.". At this point, I've given up on him as a romantic interest... but I'd still like to stay in touch -- just in case...

Another reason for not stopping in to see CC: my feet were hurting -- I'm not much of a shopper, but went on a spring shoe-buying binge today and yesterday: three new pairs of hot, high-heeled, sexy shoes. And now I have some new knee pain to go with my new shoes.

Up ahead this week and weekend: dates with newbies (that is, if they don't cancel)! Party with CJ! Maybe some hotties at the party? I'll try not to hit on the gay guys this time...!

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

This week in dating...

Fun, busy week coming up: a few nights out with friends (including the opening of a new bar-restaurant, a Cinco de Mayo party and a possible TV taping), as well as a few dates with all new guys ( word from AdMan yet).

Details to come on the newbies. Funny -- the one that I was indifferent about by e-mail? I liked a lot on the phone. And the inverse for the guy who had a great profile and good e-mails -- phone? Not so much. But I'm seeing them both (plus one more -- who gave good e AND phone).

As far as online profiles, I thought I had seen it all: the cliches, the shirtless guys, the typos. But I just saw a profile that has them all beat: a guy who included pics of himself in competitive eating contests.

As much as I'd love to share Mr. Gourmand (and his big pile o' wieners) with you -- sorry ladies -- he's ALL MINE!! Yum!