Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Date #79: Brooklyn Guy + French Tuesdays

I think I'm finally getting better at not obsessing over This Guy. We've had a few e-mails back and forth since Sunday's date, and while he responds in a timely manner, his e-mails have a rather perfunctory tone. I dropped a flirtatious line or two in my e-mails to him -- no acknowledgement on his part of said flirtatiousness.

Harrumph! (am I spelling this right?)

We did set a date to go out this weekend, and I was initially thinking I might want to move onto the Wonderful World of Sexytime with him. But now I'm thinking I should silence my raging hormones, and wait just a little bit longer. Hey -- it's been over three months, what's another week or two? An eternity, that's what!!!

Continuing on my Egg Spreading campaign (as in, don't put them all in one basket), tonight I had a date with Brooklyn Guy. In case you're wondering, the #79 refers to the fact that he's the 79th guy I've gone out with since the end of my last long-term relationship over two years ago. I know that sounds like a lot of dates, but it averages out to 2.92 a month, or fewer than one man a week. Granted -- that average isn't quite accurate -- during that time, there were two different guys who I dated for about three months each, while not dating anyone else. Moving on...

Back to Brooklyn Guy: met over a drink, nice enough conversation. He's smart, well-traveled, knows his 80's music. I didn't feel a vibe, but it wasn't an absolute NO either. I'd give him a second shot.

After the date, I met Young French Guy (YFG) and his friends for another installment of French Tuesdays. YFG was running late, so I got a drink and wandered around, checking out the gorgeous, well-dressed crowd. I spotted a guy who looked familiar -- I went over and asked, "Are you (Neighbor Guy)?". Indeed -- I recognized him from We had exchanged a few e-mails, but never went further than that -- these things happen often in the world of online dating.

We chatted for a while, and while I definitely found him to be good-looking, there was a slightly pompous vibe about him. He managed to slip into the conversation that he had traveled to 32 countries -- I felt that I'd be a braggart as well if I mentioned that I had been to more than that. And yet -- I DO like a guy who is well-traveled. And he was certainly charming. We said we'd be in touch soon -- we'll see if that actually happens.

I found YFG and his friends, and their friends. Wound up dancing most of the night with a rather cute blondish German guy -- not my usual type. I generally go for dark-haired Mediterreanean-ish guys. This one lives here, unlike the Portuguese dish who I met at the last FT event, who was only visiting for the week. German Guy looks like the bad guy in Terminator 2 (T-1000):

We exchanged contact info, said we'd maybe get together over the weekend. With T-1000 (good blog name, eh?), I'm definitely leaving it up to him to contact me. He was quite drunk by the end of the evening, so it'll be interesting to see if he remembers me -- or if he'll look at my name in his phone tomorrow, and think, "who the hell is (Loverville)?"

Quite a fun, full night! Even if nothing comes out of these new prospects, I had a good time and burned about a zillion calories on the dance floor!


Anonymous said...

The psychiatrist says:

1. You know how many countries you've visited off the top of your head and you think anyone cares enough that stating this number aloud is going to make you seem pompous.

2. You've counted the number of dates you've been on in the last two years, calculated an average per week, and then "explained" that this "low" number is due to your having two brief exclusive relationships.

3. You post stories about your dating exploits, including your schedule of sexual intimacy, on an anonymous blog for the entire world to see.

Clearly, you are a narcissist. It's not surprising you've dated 79 guys and not found a relationship. Seek help, for your own sake.

Loverville said...

Thanks, shrink -- you raise some interesting points.

1. I think there's a difference between mentioning that you've traveled a lot, vs. stating "I've been to X number of countries". Anyway, it was the context. You had to be there. And you weren't.

2. Maybe I should clarify -- I never said this was a "low" number. I'm not happy about the fact that I've met 79 guys, and haven't met "the one". Trust me, this kind of dating gets very boring, but I'm not willing to settle on the wrong person. I've done that in the past, and am not willing to repeat the same mistake.

Unfortunately, if I have to meet 70 more guys til I meet the "right" one... well, I'll do what it takes. It happens quickly for some people, not so quickly for others. Everyone is different.

3. Key word here is "anonymous". This blog is a catharsis for me -- dating can get very frustrating, and it helps me to vent here, and get feedback, and know that I'm not alone.

As far as the "schedule of sexual intimacy" -- surely, you've seen worse! Trust me, I'm subdued when compared to many other blogs out there!

The definition of narcissism is "undue dwelling on one's own self or attainments". Sure, I dwell, but not an inordinate amount. This blog is just one facet of my life, and since you don't know me, you are clearly not in a position to make such a statement.

But I thank you for your feedback, nonetheless!

Dating Trooper - Dating is Warfare said...

Shrink clearly doesn't get the blog world. The act of writing is inherently somewhat narcissitc and everyone needs a dose of self-importance from time to time. So what if we feel the need to post it for everyone to read? No one's making him read it! Plus, any real shrink knows that "journalling" is a good way to process emotions and get them out so you can then go on with your regular life without obsessing over non-productive thoughts (hey, my mom's a shrink so I think I qualify as a semi-epxert here).
As for countries travelled, that's what guys say when they are trying to impress you , so take it as a compliment.
As for T-1000, I'm a bit hesitant after several bad experiences with the aryan-german tpes. But hey, that's just me :-)

Cute Jewess said...

Oh please. Anonymous sounds like a *horrible* shrink.

Elise said...

clearly shrink missed disney manners 101 "if you do not have anything nice to say, do not say ANYTHING at all"

sexagenarian07 said...

'anonymous' is not a psychiatrist...he's just an angry person venting *anonymous*ly at you...

a&v said...

Oh, yawn, anon!

At first I thought the Egg Spreading campaign had something to do with sowing wild oats. (maybe it has!) I'd have been annoyed by the "32 countries" slip, too, but only because it's most often the truly insecure that feel they have to make such proclamations. Maybe he was nervous and this revealed itself as pomposity?

Loverville said...

DT: well said.

CJ & Sexagenarian: indeed! And yes, I figured that a real shrink wouldn't be trolling on my blog, and certainly wouldn't be so quick to cast an opinion when he/she doesn't know me.

Elise: that's what my mom taught me as well! Then again, I'm receptive to all comments.

A&V: nope, no oat spreading going on here! Sometimes a cliche just says it all -- in this case, don't put all your eggs in one basket.

acaligurl said...

this is a huge world, 79 guys isn't even on a pinhead!!! see as many as you want and as many as it takes!!!
narcissist?? thats dumb and thats not loverville!
um ya anonymous, it is an anonymous blog, so why can't loverville post???

Anonymous said...

while i agree with anon i do wonder sometimes why it is shrinks are so judgmental. as it is narcissism has a terrible 'cure' rate (7+years of sessions)-- and in my experience an awful lot of shrinks are narcissists. (1. you announced you were a shrink 2. you insisted on stating your 'professional' opinion in a public forum, expecting your word trumps the non-expert 3. you proselytized for said profession instead of saying anything truly helpful). that said i do cringe at loverville's exploits and apparent lack of discretion, but it's entertaining enough for all parties and no harm in that.