Remember Hot Young Guy? His new name is Supreme Dickwad Number One, and he is officially OUT of the picture. Long story short: we got into a silly text-message spat today, which ended with him telling me “you’ll die single”. Ouch! How bitter and mean!
It put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day. I know that only an immature oaf would say something like that, and I should just let this roll off me, but still – it struck a chord. Maybe it’s the PMS, but I’ve been feeling quite lonely these days. (I’m not trying to work the stereotype – I really do get a bit emotional this time of month). Last week I went to a work party, and it felt as though everyone was there with a significant other. I had a hard time enjoying myself because the loneliness just felt so palpable.
I should be happy that I had yet another first date tonight, this time with Nearby Guy – but I’m feeling quite the opposite. It’s frustrating that I had yet ANOTHER first date that will not lead to a relationship. NG was certainly nice enough, but I just didn’t feel that “click”. I’m all about giving someone a chance, but when you leave the date thinking that you could never imagine yourself kissing the person? That says a lot.
Coming home from the date, however, I got a little lift: walking in the opposite direction, towards me, was a young guy sporting the “Jesus” look – longish hair, full beard. As we approached each other, I found myself thinking he was probably quite cute under all that hair. When we passed one another, he lifted his hand up in a little wave, smiled, and kept going. I returned the gesture, and we both continued in our respective directions. I don’t know why – it just struck me as one of those inexplicably sweet moments. Even thinking about it now, an hour later, is putting a smile on my face.
I guess it’s a good thing that work is starting to get incredibly hectic. I’m going to be traveling a lot for work this summer, which will severely limit my social life, especially dating. On one hand, this is a good thing – I can try to lose myself in work for a little while. But I know myself, and I know what my thoughts will drift towards as I’m alone in bed at night, trying to fall asleep.