Tuesday, June 19, 2007

The List

If you’ve ever done internet dating, you know how hard it can be to keep these potential dates straight – namely, early on, when you’re still just in e-mail mode. Is Jack the one who just came back from Australia, or was that Joe?

I keep a little notebook with details about each of them to keep them straight. Eg, Jack, 35, 5’11, lives Upper East, lawyer, speaks fluent Japanese, has a dog named Buford.

I recently went one step further – now I keep a Word document on my desktop, broken down by:

“A” list
Guys I’m excited about – either have a date planned, or have already been out with them, and feel optimistic.

“B” list
Guys with whom I’m just in the early e-mail stage. In some cases, I’ve already sent them my number (I note the date that I sent it to them). They’re listed in order of my excitement / optimism for them.

“D” list – as in “Doubtful / Back Burner / Possibly Out”.
These might be guys like Hot Young Guy – we’ve had a bit of e-mail banter recently, but I think he’s too busy being a Hot Young Guy with other women lately. Currently the D list also includes Worldly Guy – we went out two weeks ago, he called me a few days later (but didn’t leave a message) – then never responded to my follow-up e-mail. He’s most likely out, but I want to remember his name on the (ha!) off-chance he contacts me – but most likely, he’ll just be deleted soon.


As of today, the A list has no names.

The B list has 7 names. I’m particularly excited about two guys -- let’s call them H and Y for now. A few good e-mails have been exchanged, and I’m hoping to move onto phone contact in time to possibly plan a date with one of them by this weekend.

And the D list has 6 names – sadly, including Witty Banter. I was excited when he wrote to me last week, apologizing about being out of touch. We scheduled a date, which he then had to cancel because of work demands. Time to be realistic about him – he’s just not that into me, and seeing the details written out in front of me makes it all the more apparent.

Other internet daters out there – what’s your method for keeping ‘em straight? Excel document? Squash ladder? Scraps of paper? Do tell.


londongirl said...

Wow. You have way more on the go than me. I have 3.

I tend to only keep the A list and then panic when that doesn't work out and email loads more. But you're right, it's all about pipe-fill. Keep 'em coming through...

jgo said...

I usually just try to keep it all straight in my head. Not easy though. I like your method. I think Im gonna try that. If you are constantly shifting names around, sounds like a better job for excel then word if you ask me.

Hey LV, after how many emails do guys usually ask for your number? Do you ever skip the phone part and go straight to meeting up?

a&v said...

I think this is a great idea. Confusion of who was who is likely one of the reasons I threw in the towel where online dating is concerned (that and the fact that I was meeting absolutely unsuitable men!). Next time I'll follow the LV Method. No muss, no fuss!

Cute Jewess said...

Funny, I just posted my list! I just keep a wee written notebook with names and what stage we're at, i.e.: "He's supposed to call" or "I have to email back." That's what I forget--whose turn is what! The A and B list make it into the notebook. The C and D list just get their own email folders in my Jdate inbox. Those folders come in handy for deciding to pick up dropped conversations!

Anonymous said...

Like londongirl, I only keep an A list though admittedly, I sometimes place women who should be on a B or D list on the A list simply because there are no other contenders. Not necessarily proud of that...

When I truly maintain an empty A list, I just tell myself that I must just be too busy right now and it's my prerogative to not have to populate it. So there! (said the single guy who really wants an A lister to date)


Loverville said...

LG -- it's good to keep a few in reserve, especially here in NY, where guys often flake out.

JGO -- depends on the guy. Some ask for my number right away -- some after weeks of e-mails. I prefer somewhere in the middle, maybe after 1, 2 e-mails back and forth.

I would NEVER skip the phone part! There's been a few times when I just didn't find the guy likeable on the phone -- no point in wasting both our time meeting up.

A&V -- good luck! Hm, maybe I can develop a computer program based on this!

CJ -- indeed! Organization is key.

"4" -- yeah, same here. Just tooooo busy, yeah -- that's it.

Mendoza Line said...


You are an 'A' on my new list of heroes.

Loverville said...

ML -- awww, thanks! That made me smile!