Sunday, July 8, 2007

A question... and another date with Smiles

I have a question for my fellow bloggers – especially those of you with similar sites to this one, venting about our dating lives.

Do you ever worry about your site being discovered by the guy you like? Of course I’m not using real names (mine, nor his)… and while I keep details sketchy, I’m still nervous about anything that could possibly identify this site as being written by me, about us.

In this case, with Smiles, I only have good things to say – but still, I wonder, if he were to come across this (admittedly, unlikely – but not impossible), would he be offended at having semi-personal details posted for all to read? If our relationship continues, at some point I’d like to share the blog with him – it’s been an important part of my life these past few months. (I remember being quite impressed when Dating Trooper mentioned that she shared her blog with her new guy). Writing this blog has been incredibly cathartic -- I’ve truly enjoyed virtually meeting other bloggers as a result, and even became "real life" friends with another (incredibly cool) blogger, Cute Jewess.

Anyway – on that note – Smiles and I had yet another wonderful date yesterday.

We drove out of town to go biking in the gorgeous countryside that is surprisingly close to NYC. I love biking, and it’s always a huge plus when the guy I’m dating is into it as well.

It was a perfectly gorgeous, sunny day – we sailed down lots of hills (he’s a lot more fearless than I am!), and huffed up other hills. After the ride, went for a swim in a local lake before drying off and going to the nearby town for a lovely dinner. There’s definitely a strong attraction between us, but it’s still a rather pleasant surprise when the GUY says he doesn’t want us to sleep together until we’ve had a chance to get to know each other better.

One of the best moments of the day: driving to town in the late-afternoon sun, surrounded by woods and dappled sunlight. We were both giddy at what a beautiful day it was, and at one point Smiles just looked over at me and smiled. It was a Moment. A lovely, romantic Moment that I want to hold on to, and keep replaying over and over.

After dinner, we lingered in the town for a bit before returning back to the city – stopped at his apartment, my first visit to his place. It was quite clean for a guy’s apartment – he confessed that he had cleaned up on the chance that I’d be coming by. Then back to my place – we hadn’t planned a sleepover, but he started dozing off while we watched TV, and we (I) thought it would be best for him to not risk driving while he was that exhausted.

It was a chaste sleepover, with him sleeping in shorts, and me in shorts and a tank top. I never sleep well the first time I have a new guy over, and this time was no exception. As a result, he was wide-awake at 8 am, while I still felt the need for another hour or two of sleep – he said, “why don’t I get going, so you can get a little more sleep?” and he left. The goodbye felt a bit abrupt, and I’m trying not to overanalyze it – trying to remind myself to look at the big picture (yet another wonderful date with a guy I like, who also seems to like me) rather than what could be a multi-interpreted moment (he wanted to leave quickly so I could go back to sleep – I was disappointed that he didn’t want to linger longer).

Sure, I’m neurotic and overly analytical. But writing it out here forces me to realize that, address it and keep it in perspective.

Follow-up to yesterday’s post, where I wondered aloud if I should consider a date with new guy, H. I’m just not feeling it, so I’m not going to do it. I’m enjoying getting to know Smiles too much right now. So I’m putting all my eggs in one basket (his)? So be it.


a&v said...

This sounds like something out of a very good movie. I'm sure his abrupt departure isn't a harbinger of something bad--more likely he didn't want to overstay his welcome and you know how it is when you're sleepy--sometimes things don't come out as smoothly as you would like. (At least this is my experience!)

As to the blogging issue, I could write volumes on this, having blogged in various forms since 1999. In the interest of keeping this comment short, I think I might just write a post on the issue. :)

Loverville said...

A&V -- thanks for the reassurance! I know, it's probably me just overthinking things.

I'm looking forward to reading your post on this! I'm kind of new at this blogging thing, could use all the advice I can get!

sexagenarian and the city said...

an issue i've been thinking about a lot in the last week; i, too, was interested to read what dating trooper had to say. sooner or later, but not immediately, i'll probably tell Performer about the blog, and so consciously or unconsciously i'll have in mind, as i write, that one day he'll be reading the posts. he's working too hard to be surfing the web looking for dating blogs at the moment, so he's not likely to find my blog. but following dt's example i'll probably 'fess up and tell him about it -- depending on how things go, of course!

Anonymous said...

My take on Smiles isn't much different than a&v's. Smiles was likely just trying to be polite and courteous. It's possible that he maybe felt a little uncomfortable in the a.m., but he's human. Things sound like they are going in the right direction, so chill and enjoy it.


Loverville said...

Mimi: yes -- here's hoping that both of us will get into that situation with each of our guys!

"4": thanks for the guy perspective. Hope your errand went well, and that you had success with your wiring!

Dating Trooper - Dating is Warfare said...

LV - Sounds like a perfectly wonderful date! And his early departure sounds like nothing but him being considerate and, liked a&v said, not wanting to overstay his welcome. Enjoy the "afterglow"!

Yes, it was scary as hell when I told Wine Guy about the blog (see "The Talk" from May 30), but it luckily went well. However, I waited to tell him until I was sure he and I would become boyfriend/girlfriend (how 8th grade does that sound?). Turns out, one of my friends (still not sure who...) accidentally spilled the beans about it to him a few weeks earlier, but he didn't really get the importance of the blog to me until I told him. I guess I'd say wait until you think this really is going somewhere and then tell him. The best advice I can give is to make it VERY clear to him that your blog is about YOU, not HIM (or other guys) specifically. He may show up in it, but its focus is what's going on in your head, not a tell-all about what he did or didn't do, say, etc. Also, a warning: he will be less worried about what you said about him (which is what women would be more concerned about I think) and more concerned about hearing what you have done with other guys before him. At least that's what I've discovered....Feel him out for a bit first and see what your gut tells you!

In the meantime, have fun!

Butch said...

You're obviously very into this guy, even if you won't admit it to yourself yet. Worrying about him discovering your blog is the 21st century equivalent of worrying if your folks will like him!

Mendoza Line said...

Regarding Smiles leaving abruptly in the AM...honestly, the first thing that came to my mind was: morning poo.

I know, the over-analyzing gene is kind of installed in us ladies at birth.

Sanani said...

You've been sounding downright sweet when you talk about Smiles, which is a change from your usual blog persona. Normally, you're more titillating and giddy (and occasionally sexy ;-). Sounds like it's going great.

I must say, I'm not particularly jealous, but if I met a girl I liked and found out she had a blog like this one, I'd break it off in a flash. I might get angry, too. At a minimum, I wouldn't want to read about all the other guys she's liked, her other hook-ups, etc. But maybe this is just a screwy way of saying that, while I like your blog, we wouldn't match up well romantically?!? :-)

Anonymous said...

He sounds great. It sounds like he is into you as well. Wishing you more great dates together!

London-Lass said...

My boyfriend (a.k.a. `The Chipster') doesnt know about my Blog and due to various reasons (inc. his abject hate for anything remotely IT-related) I feel pretty safe in the knowledge that he wont discover my blogging posts. I try to keep them as anonymous as poss anyway. Although one guy (when I was out & about in the world of Net Dating) *did* find out. I blogged all about it here :

I still cringe when I read it.

London-Lass said...

should have read :-

Heather said...

It sounds like you had an amazing day with Smiles! And I can feel you glowing through your post! :) I don't think it's so bad to put your eggs in one basket--if this is where your heart is, then go with it! Don't doubt yourself.

As far as him leaving-maybe he wanted to make sure he kept good on his word to getting to know you better before sex LOL That's a positive spin on it! :)

It sounds great...good luck! :)

Oh-and as far as happening on your blog-I think it's unlikely-how it happened to CJ, I'm unsure-but this is your blog-and I think you should do with it as you see fit!

Anonymous said...

As for the blog, I can see what DT says about all the other action that's been had being the weirdest part. That would be the weirdest part for me. Also, in reading DT's blog, it seems like in the time that she's posted, she didn't have a lot of action with the dates she was talking about (not a lot of kissing and no sex). Mostly it was how people weren't good matches and how they reminded her of bad things about past relationships. Your blog is much different than that. Keep that in mind when you get ready to share that with whomever you choose. That's just a random guy's perspective who neither on-line dates nor blogs myself.

londongirl said...

I know how the eggs in one basket thing can feel scary, but I think you're right, if you're not feeling it, it's not right to go.

I would try to keep calm about Smiles - he seems like a decent guy. My fingers are crossed!