Looks like my gut was right about Smiles – tonight he admitted that he had indeed pulled away a bit this week. Our extra-long date last weekend had felt a bit too long to him, made even longer by spending the night at my place, when he would have preferred to have gone home. (As far as his canceling on our previously planned date, he really did have a work event.)
I’m happy we were able to talk about this – this kind of thing isn’t always easy to discuss. Too often, I’ve been in relationships where we both sense there’s a problem, but try to bury it – as if not talking about it will make it go away. What almost always ends up happening is that the problem festers until one of us explodes. If things continue with Smiles, this could be a good precedent – this “communication” thing. Go figure. Might be something to it.
In light of this talk, it just felt a bit strange to ask if he’s seeing anyone else right now. Too soon. My sense is that he really does want to give this a chance (as do I), and he certainly doesn’t seem like a player. I do notice that he logs onto Match rather regularly – and the fact that I know this means I’m logging in as well. Touché.
However – I did bring up the fact that I don’t want us to sleep together until we’ve established that we’re dating exclusively. He was in agreement with this.
In the meantime – we’re not sleeping with each other (yet). I think it might be a good distraction to arrange a date or two with other guys in the meantime (my friends advised this as well). Even if the e-mails back and forth don’t actually LEAD to dates (not unusual), the mere fact that someone else may potentially be interested in meeting me may be a good distraction from Smiles, and help me turn down the crazy just a little bit.
Would love to hear your thoughts on this. Do you generally feel it's OK to date other people until you have the "we're exclusive" talk?