Thursday, August 30, 2007

It's official -- I don't like (formerly Sexy) Dork after all...

I really wanted to give Dork a chance – such a nice guy, despite apparent social awkwardness. Still – it was quite apparent that he liked me, which was flattering. I really wanted to try to like him… but as we all know, you can’t force these things.

Tonight was a final attempt – we had plans for a picnic along the river. Not an auspicious beginning, as I cringed when I first saw him: he was wearing a tank top and shorts – the kind of tank top you wear to go running. He seems to have a decent body (slim and lean) – but that’s not the point. You do NOT wear a tank top on a third date, even if you’re having a picnic!

As we sat and chatted, he gradually moved closer and closer to me… and I kept drinking more wine, thinking, hmm, maybe I could kiss him. After a while, I just wanted to go home. Totally not into him – officially. He walked me to the subway, and I debated saying something then, but thought I’d save it for an e-mail. He had to know.

Ah well. I’ll have to keep this in mind next time I’m wondering if a guy is into ME. If there’s any doubt? He’s probably not.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Date #98: Eh

I must get more selective in my screening process.

“Eh” and I had a few brief e-mails and a decent (but short) phone conversation before tonight’s date. During the date, we mostly struggled for conversation, seemingly waiting for the polite time of exactly one hour to pass before calling it a night. When we said goodbye, there was no pretense of seeing each other again – just a simple, “nice to meet you!”.

Coming up: another date with Sexy Dork – tho after the last date, I’m not sure if I feeling the “sexiness” from him that much. I’m on the fence about him as a potential boyfriend, but I like him as a person – he’s very sweet, smart and has a great personality. After tonight’s stilted conversation and general first-date-ness with Eh, I’m looking forward to the familiarity of Sexy Dork (or maybe just … “Dork”?). At the very least, we always seem to have plenty to talk about.

The most exciting part of my day: I got an e-mail from Witty Banter. (granted – this was in response to my e-mail to him yesterday, in a “hey, you never know” moment) To re-cap: WB and I had one date a few months ago, after a great e-mail / phone connection – I thought the date went swimmingly well. We exchanged a few e-mails after that, but one of us was always out of town, or buried under work.

I just couldn’t stop thinking about him – it had seemed that we’d had a great connection as well as lots of the same interests. Admittedly, he was my complete “good on paper” kind of guy.

My e-mail to him yesterday was breezy and nonchalant – I was very happy that in his response he suggested getting together. I’m trying to be logical – if he was really into me, he could have found time to contact me a while ago. So we’ll see if there’s another date – no expectations. Or at least trying not to have any expectations.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Date #97: Mr. Zzzzzzz....

Signs you’re on a lousy date:

· you hope you can escape in time to get to Whole Foods before it closes
· you fantasize about the singer in the band your date suggested you see together (oh man… those lips!)
· you start to write your blog entry in your head

Note to self: when potential date seems devoid of personality in e-mail and on the phone? No chance that he’ll be smooch material in person.

I knew I should have gone to the gym instead.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Weekend update / Sunday weigh-in

Had dates with both Sexy Dork and UN this weekend:

Sexy Dork: This was a first for me – I had to cut the date short because I wasn’t feeling well. We met for an outdoor concert, and planned to have dinner afterwards, but I was feeling so run down from a rough week at work, I had to call it a night before we even made it to dinner.

I also found myself a little less into him. I’m not sure if it was actually HIM, or a result of my feeling under the weather – I’d go out with him at least one more time to see.

He’s a really sweet guy – e-mailed me first thing the next morning to see how I was feeling. Also (I know this isn’t everything, but it helps) – he continues to be generous with the flattery. When we met up earlier in the night, he greeted me with an enthusiastic, “you look fantastic!”.

Then there was the date with UN. I think UN is more my “type” (looks-wise, as well as personality-wise) than Sexy Dork is… but I’m having trouble getting a read on him. My overall feeling is, he’s acting more like a buddy than a potential boyfriend. We have lots in common, always have something to talk about. But he’s just not as warm as Sexy Dork is… and not nearly as generous with the flattery. Come to think of it, I don’t think he’s ever paid me a single compliment. He's not a hand-holding kind of guy... but things have gotten quite heated during our alone time (no sex yet).

Cute Jewess had the perfect advice: “you’re not into him too much to stop you from searching other dudes, but you’re into him enough to see what happens”. So that’s the plan for now. I already have a date planned with a new guy later this week.

Speaking of CJ: I had a fabulous night out with her and her kick-ass friends – we danced up a storm! As she said – they truly rock.

Oh! Today was my first Sunday weigh-in for my new 10 in 10 plan: I was down 2 lbs! Started at 138 a few days ago… today was 136. Yeah, I know – your weight can fluctuate as much as 5 lbs in a given day, so I shouldn’t take this lower number as gospel. But if it motivates me to keep going? I’ll take it!

Sounded like there were a few other potential "10 in 10"-ers out there... how was everyone's weekend?

Friday, August 24, 2007

Back on the weight loss wagon.

A few months ago, I created a plan for myself to lose 10 lbs in 10 weeks – and was incredibly pleased with myself when I achieved my goal. (though I still wanted to lose a few more pounds beyond that)

Well – as we all know, part of the challenge isn’t just losing the weight, it’s keeping it off. It’s been a hectic summer, with a few business trips… and some of the weight has crept back on. Not all of it – but about half. It’s been a combination of boredom eating in airports and long drives, and that feeling of “I’m in X location, and I really should eat the specialty!”, which tends to be something fattening. Even though I’ve ‘only’ gained about 5 lbs recently, it’s enough to make me feel a bit chubby and less attractive – not ideal in this crazy dating situation.

So – as of today, I’m starting a new “lose 10 lbs in 10 weeks” goal. My official weigh-in day will be Sunday mornings – I’ll post progress reports weekly. I’m now 138 lbs. Hoping to get to 128 by November 4th. I’d actually LOVE to get to 125 by my birthday, a few weeks later – what a great present that would be to myself! I haven’t been below 130 in a zillion years – might just have to give myself a great non-food reward once I reach that point. Perhaps a new pair of kick-ass shoes?

Got a few pounds to lose? Join me!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Date #96: Sexy Dork (and more UN)

It’s been a fun-filled weekend:

Very good date with Cute Dork – who I’m now renaming Sexy Dork. He’s kind of goofy, kind of quirky and much cuter than I had expected – a nice package. He’s generous with the compliments, which is always a bonus (but he’s certainly not smarmy about it). We had a casual dinner, then several drinks, a bit of dancing (ok, not his strong point – but he gets an E for effort), and some very, very sexy kissing. Very. It didn’t go further than kissing, but my imagination ran wild.

I was happy to see that he e-mailed me today, saying he had a lovely time, and would love to get together next weekend.

However – there’s a catch. He told me on our date that he ended a serious relationship not long ago, and isn’t looking for anything serious right now. I’m glad he told me that – it’ll help with staying in the right mindset, knowing that it’s just fun. Cute Jewess asked me if I’m OK dating someone who doesn’t want to get serious – and for now, I think I am. Depending on if / how things develop with UN… maybe Sexy Dork could be that fling that I've been contemplating!

Then there was the daytime date with UN, biking in the park. I like him – he has a great sense of humor. At one point, we took a break, and I realized – he’s really cute! Not GQ / model / plastic cute – but “just my type” cute, nice smile, etc.

However, with UN I feel like I’m having a hard time getting below the surface. On my one date with Sexy Dork I learned more about what makes him tick than I have in several dates with UN. (family, relationships, etc) I know -- wait and see, and all that.

That’s pretty much been my dating mantra this year: wait and see. You don’t have to decide TODAY if you’re going to marry the guy. All you need to decide is if you want at least one more date with him. I tend to get ahead of myself – and having this blog has really helped me tone that down. I’ve been enjoying the process of laying it all out, and getting your feedback. So – thanks for reading!

Saturday, August 18, 2007

The roster is growing

After a few days of contacting new guys, and writing back to guys who had previously written to me, there are six new possibilities on the line. I use the expression “possibilities” very loosely – anyone who has tried internet dating probably knows that it’s easy to have a barrage of back-and-forth e-mails with a seemingly good connection, only to have the other person disappear on you.

For now, all these guys are still in the e-mail stage, with a few numbers exchanged – except Cute Dork, who I’m meeting for the first time this weekend. I’m using “Dork” in a positive way – he seems intelligent, in a nerdy kind of way. The kind of guy who would have just been a buddy in high school, but now I find quite attractive. But from our phone conversation, it also seemed like he teeters on the edge of socially awkward -- I’ll know more after our date. He’ll be Date #96 (for new readers, that means he’s the 96th guy I’ll have dated since my last serious relationship ended two and a half years ago).

Wow – 100 is just around the corner! The Century of Dating! Any suggestions on how to celebrate / observe this occasion?

Oh – UN is still in the picture. I’m seeing him as well this weekend, though it looks like we’ll only have a chance to have a daytime date. Not quite as sexy as nighttime, but still, a good opportunity to get to know him better.

Speaking of sexy – well, to be blunt – there’s been no “SexyTime” since This Guy back in May. And let’s just say, a girl* has her needs! (*rather, a 30-something woman) On one hand, I’d like to wait til there’s someone with whom it would be meaningful… on the other hand, I’m contemplating a fling. I don’t have a fling candidate right now… but I’m keeping my eyes open.

Who knows… maybe if things develop with UN in the coming weeks…

Sunday, August 12, 2007

UN / August

Good second date with UN last night. There’s some chemistry there, but not that strong instant “zing” that I had with Smiles.

I need to keep reminding myself – take it slowly, date by date. I know, I know… common sense, right? I tend to get impatient with these things. I like the zing, the giddiness, the high of being excited about someone. Just because I'm not feeling that with UN right now isn't necessarily a bad thing -- I'm just getting to know him slowly. (as I keep telling myself... I almost believe it!)

In the meantime, I need to work on setting up dates with other guys – there really aren’t any new contenders at this time. I IM’d with a new guy a few days ago and gave him my number – no call yet. Another guy who seemed promising is now out of town for the next few weeks.

And it certainly doesn't help that I have a few business trips this month -- actually, that DOES help. It helps me not obsess about dating as much!

Saturday, August 11, 2007

What to wear...

I'm trying to decide what to wear tonight for my second date with UN -- we're meeting at a cocktail lounge.

Options are:
1. cute tube top sundress I bought today. PRO: girly, very feminine. CON: not as slimming as option #2. Also, the top of this kind of dress always seems to need adjusting.

2. jeans with cute summery top that makes me look busty. PRO: slimming. CON: not as dressy / feminine as option #1. Also, on my first date with UN I wore jeans and a cute top... option #1 would look quite different.

(I think I'm leaning towards the dress, but would still love input!)

UPDATE: I found another option -- flattering pants that I hadn't worn in a while (not jeans) and a slimming yet sexy (but not trashy) top. I just wasn't thrilled with the dress.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Date #95 + updates

I’m back after a few days out of town, with some updates:

Date #95: the night before I left, I had a one-hour drink with a guy I’ll call Mr. Maybe. I wasn’t overwhelmingly impressed, but he was a nice enough guy. I’d consider a second date, but only if he contacts me next.

Smiles: I left a message on his voicemail just before I went away, no reply. This is quite telling: before my previous trip, he asked me to call him when I got to my destination, so he’d know I got there safely. This time – nothing. Then…

A good friend of mine, also on Match, got an e-mail from Smiles via the Match website – he’s never met her or any of my other friends. She wrote back something along the lines of “thanks for writing – but you should know, you’ve been dating one of my good friends.”

He writes back: “Small world – who’s your friend?” She wrote back “Loverville”. No reply from him.

I think it’s safe to say he’s out of the picture. Not because of this incident (which I actually found quite funny – for such a big city, New York is a tiny place!) – but if it’s not working, it’s just not working. No harm done. It was fun while it lasted.

On the Positive Dating News front: while I was away, I considered writing to UN to plan our next date for this weekend – but I resisted the urge, thanks in part to advice provided by Cute Jewess (thanks, CJ!) to play it cool. I always feel the need to plan ahead, but suppressed that urge this time. After coming home, I found a message from UN, saying that he believed I was coming home that day, and would I like to get together soon? Hopefully I’ll see him this weekend.

Now – re: Smiles. I’m sure he senses as well that this is going nowhere – it’ll be interesting to see what happens from here -- as in, how will this end? Normally, I’d want to close the book by having “the talk” – but since I left the last message and haven’t heard back from him, I’m sure it’s safe to assume that his silence says it all.

But there’s that part of me that wants him to call or e-mail so I can refrain from responding to HIM. Immature? Maybe. But if anyone is going to be pulling the plug around here, I want it to be me!