Thursday, August 9, 2007

Date #95 + updates

I’m back after a few days out of town, with some updates:

Date #95: the night before I left, I had a one-hour drink with a guy I’ll call Mr. Maybe. I wasn’t overwhelmingly impressed, but he was a nice enough guy. I’d consider a second date, but only if he contacts me next.

Smiles: I left a message on his voicemail just before I went away, no reply. This is quite telling: before my previous trip, he asked me to call him when I got to my destination, so he’d know I got there safely. This time – nothing. Then…

A good friend of mine, also on Match, got an e-mail from Smiles via the Match website – he’s never met her or any of my other friends. She wrote back something along the lines of “thanks for writing – but you should know, you’ve been dating one of my good friends.”

He writes back: “Small world – who’s your friend?” She wrote back “Loverville”. No reply from him.

I think it’s safe to say he’s out of the picture. Not because of this incident (which I actually found quite funny – for such a big city, New York is a tiny place!) – but if it’s not working, it’s just not working. No harm done. It was fun while it lasted.

On the Positive Dating News front: while I was away, I considered writing to UN to plan our next date for this weekend – but I resisted the urge, thanks in part to advice provided by Cute Jewess (thanks, CJ!) to play it cool. I always feel the need to plan ahead, but suppressed that urge this time. After coming home, I found a message from UN, saying that he believed I was coming home that day, and would I like to get together soon? Hopefully I’ll see him this weekend.

Now – re: Smiles. I’m sure he senses as well that this is going nowhere – it’ll be interesting to see what happens from here -- as in, how will this end? Normally, I’d want to close the book by having “the talk” – but since I left the last message and haven’t heard back from him, I’m sure it’s safe to assume that his silence says it all.

But there’s that part of me that wants him to call or e-mail so I can refrain from responding to HIM. Immature? Maybe. But if anyone is going to be pulling the plug around here, I want it to be me!


a&v said...

Ah, yes! Being the one to pull the plug is such a satisfying feeling (in this kind of situation, anyway). I hope you get then chance! (and yes, who knew NYC could be so small?!)

molly said...

LV, I don't think anyone needs to "pull the plug" after a handful of dates. It sounds like it kind of fizzled (sorry) and you should just leave it at that. Turn it around, if you get an email from him ending it, you would just thnk, duh, I knew that, .. well that is what he will think. If he wanted to contact you he would have after hearing from your friend (very funny by the way).

Heather said...

Eww...well, it's messed up that smiles didn't have the courtesy to call you (especially after the email with your friend--small world is right) and say that things aren't working. you had quite a time together--granted not months or years...but still. respect, people!!

Hope you have some good dates ahead!!

sexagenarian and the city said...

my 2 cents: i think your name for *smiles* was a bit of genius: smiles are what he's good at. he seems to be scared of anything beyond the surface. UN seems, so far, to be a man of his word: he calls when he thinks you're home,
seems consistent in all his communications. hope yr date w. him goes well.

Loverville said...

My feeling is, if Smiles and I had only gone on two or three dates -- sure, no problem just letting it fizzle out.

But we dated for about a month, seeing each other on average twice a week during that time. A courtesy call from him would have been the *right* thing to do. Still -- I'm not losing any sleep over it.

Date planned with UN this weekend! I'm too busy with work to really plan dates with other guys in the near future, but will line up more possibilities soon.