Friday, October 26, 2007

Stupid insecurities

I feel like I’ve gone from happy and optimistic about TC… to insecure and doubting.

He’s been away for work all this week, and he barely e-mailed and didn’t call once (I left him a message midweek). This is quite a departure from his last business trip, when we e’d just about every day and talked a few times during that week.

Yes, I know how busy business trips can be, blah blah blah… but if you really want to call or text, you’ll find the time to do it.

So many questions in my mind, as I try to think, did I do something to turn him off?
Maybe we spent too much time together last weekend?
Maybe some recent pics I sent him felt too boyfriend / girlfriend-ish?
Maybe he's simply lost interest?

Logically, I'm trying to think, a few days without him calling really isn't that much. But now I'm in "preparing for the worst" mode. Ugh. I can't help but think, just when I've finally met someone great... it's going downhill already. (“cue the violins, Drama Queen…”)

We have plans this weekend, will just have to take a temperature then. And if it does end? Yes, that would suck, but I have to remind myself – it certainly wouldn’t be the end of the world. Wish me luck.


sexagenarian and the city said...

i have no idea how to read this, of course, and it's very baffling. on the downside, if he has suddenly got cold feet, better to know it now, upsetting as that will be; on the upside, if he has already made plans w. you for this weekend, then he's expecting to see you again. but saturday is almost here, so at least you shouldn't be in a state of high anxiety for much longer. hoping for the best...m.

pt said...

oh, i'm so sorry.

BUT, if you ever read that excellent and wise Judith Sills book on the stages of courtship, this stage, called "the retreat," is very common and even expected. Her advice at this stage is to back off, no matter how much you kick and scream against doing that.

i like this guy, and i hope that you stay calm and don't freak. this is part of the process, so do not lose heart.

Dating Trooper - Dating is Warfare said...

oh boy, do I know how you're feeling. Totally understandable to be freaked out. When you fall fast, even the "little pauses" feel like sudden impacts. My only advice is, try to remember that you had a nice life before this guy, and you still do. So while you're waiting to hear from him and see him again, step back into that life - hang out with your friends, do something you enjoy. You'll remember that life doesn't begin and end with this new guy. And when he does call, you won't be so desperately excited about it. He'll sense that too and probably work a little harder to get your attention back!
Good luck, and try not to torture yourself too much!

Loverville said...

Thanks for the advice! And PT, I'll have to look into that Judith Sills book.

Trust me, I've only vented about this frustration here and to a few close friends. Next time I see TC, I plan to be my usual fun, cool self.

a&v said...

Such good advice from everyone, so I will just offer heaps of luck from the West coast.

Samantha said...

I have nothing better to say than what's already been said. Have a good time tonight and I'm thinking good thoughts for you xoxo

Cute Jewess said...

Sooooo tired (and hungry!) after our long, boozy night. But what fun ;-)

Ok. Here comes the temperature taking with TC. I hope that on Monday you can report that all is great and any fears were for naught. xx

Butch said...

So... what happened, what happened?!

jess said...

I'm with Butch...what happened? I am hoping for the best, you sure seem like you deserve it.

jgo said...

Im thinking optimistically for you. Perhaps since you are sort of "together" he doesnt feel that need to keep reinforcing things and is starting to feel comfortable. Maybe its not bad.

londongirl said...

Umn. Baffling indeed. It's the change in behaviour that's more baffling than anything else, isn't it?

I hope the weekend went well.

Heather said...

I hope all went well!!!!

midnite99 said...

I'm so glad, having read the more recent posts, that things are still/again going well. This post pretty well describes where I am at the moment, and I hope I get back to the "happy place" soon, too...but in the meantime, yay for you! (found you via Samantha [bewtichedinla], btw...)