Saturday, December 1, 2007

Wait and see... blah blah blah

In an e-mail exchange about men and relationships with my very wise friend M, she wrote:

Sooner or later everyone gets married and has kids; but does everyone get to have an interesting life? So I take the latter as my goal and figure the former will probably take care of itself.

Love that… I’m going to try to make that my new mantra. Though to be honest, I’m not really sure if marriage and kids are guaranteed for me… but really, are there any guarantees in life?

TC update: not much communication this past week, and I was a bit disappointed when he had to cancel our mid-week plans (though he had a good reason – long work day, blah blah blah). However, we had a wonderful night out last night – went to a friend’s performance, then out to dinner with her and a group of extended friends.

It hit home what a wonderful guy TC is when one of the other guys in the group, P, kept finding something to kvetch about: “this bar is too noisy!” and “we really shouldn’t leave that big of a tip!” Funny sidenote: I had a Match date with this guy P about 3 years ago. Just that one date… that was more than enough. (In the years since, our paths have crossed a few times, as we have a few friends in common).

I’m always telling myself that I just need to “wait and see” when it comes to relationships, yet I generally find it hard to put that into practice. Well – shocker of shockers – I think I’m finally in a place where I’m OK with the waiting and seeing.** It certainly helps that I have a busy month coming up – lots of parties to attend (some with TC, some without) – and a big, exciting trip planned for later this month into next. **(at least for today -- let's see how long this streak can last!)

Speaking of… this is the same trip that I had asked TC to meet me on (why the hell can’t I write that sentence in correct English? Feel free to help me here, someone). Anyway – he told me today that most likely, he won’t be able to meet up with me on said trip. No problem – that would have been fun (and quite interesting, in terms of the “relationship”), but I know I’m going to have a fabulous time anyway.

Looking forward to tonight: drinks out with CJ – we haven’t done this in a while, and we have lots of dishing to catch up on!

*** ps: I know I shouldn’t read into this, especially since I finally convinced myself that I’m in “wait and see” mode: last night, Performer Friend told us about another show she’s planning for the spring. Later in the night, TC told me that he’d really like to catch that next show. The old me would have read this as him telling me “I’d like to catch that performance in the spring… with you… which means I see us together beyond just today and tomorrow”. But the new me? Just says (to herself) that we’ll just wait and see.

Is this mantra getting monotonous yet?


Valley Girl said...

Your friend has a good point. I'm going to remember that.

Anonymous said...

I used to think that also (everyone gets married, etc) but the truth is, if that is what you want you have to make it happen. I have met way too many late 30's-and 40's single women who it just has not or did not happen for them. Many of them were in long term relationships thru their 30's with guys who would ultimately not commit. I am married and I remember sitting next to a single woman a little older than me (she was probably 40ish) about 5 years ago when I was travelling for business and I honestly remember thinking a few things; Whew... (for meeting my husband) and why her??
You are doing the right thing, dating a guy who likes you and vice versa...but it sounds like you are smart enough to move on after a while (a year??) if you know it is not moving forward. Jess

jgo said...

I think if this reiterating helps you then go for it.

Anonymous said...

Your post reminded me of some chinese curses:

"May you live in interesting times"
"May you find what you are looking for".

"Wait and see and regardless enjoy your life" is a great and I think better way to live your life.
Good luck!

acaligurl said...

don't just wait and see! get out there and make it happen!!

Mo said...

I have finally tried to catch up on all that has been going on on this blog. Glad you two are still seeing eachother but I can feel your frustration as I read about it. I think your mantra is a good one and really the only one since we really can't get into someone else's head. We have no control which is so tough to take at times. Give it more time and take the relationship temp again. He sounds like a good guy. Why are they so hard to get on the same page in life?
Seeing a therapist and talking/analyzing to find out if that little voice is your instinct or just fear.
You are so fabulous! Don't remain exclusive after a certain point if he keeps you waiting too long.
PS-My heart just breaks reading about that terrible anniversary around Thanksgiving you had. I think of you all around that time too each year.