Sunday, January 20, 2008

Dating hiatus

Out of curiosity, I’ve been doing a bit of window shopping on Match and J-date to get a vibe of what’s out there. So far, what I’m seeing is NOT inspiring me to invest the chunk of change required for “premium membership” – which should simply be called “membership”, because if you want to actually be able to send and receive e-mails, you have to pay the rather steep price. (on J-date, it’s a flat rate of $150 for a six-month membership, or you can pay month-by-month at $40 per. Match is a bit cheaper.)

Costs aside, I’m not feeling especially inclined to jump back into the dating pool at the moment, especially anonymous online serial dating. At least for the next few weeks, the plan is to enjoy some (pardon the cliché) “me” time – catch up with friends, stay busy with work projects, log some serious gym time, etc.

I'm so relieved to NOT have to worry about the TC situation any longer that I don't want to jump into a new dating / worrying situation. Not that dating always has to be about worrying... but there's always that thought process: will he call back? Did he like me as much as I liked him? Did he think I was an OK kisser?

This is the first time in a long, long time that I’m not investing significant time and energy into finding a mate – and it feels pretty good.

Saying that – I do have that first date with Skydiver tonight (the friend of a friend), but am feeling very calm and non-expectant. IF I like him (always a big IF), will strive to keep that relaxed feeling rolling.

This made me laugh – I came across a J-date profile with a picture of a very good-looking guy, nice height, etc. Then I read what he’d written about himself: into cooking, loves the city, blah blah blah… and “masculine, tall, dark, handsome and smart men”. A quick glance at the header revealed that he was in the “men seeking men” category, somehow slipped past my search radar. Too funny! Of COURSE the best profile belongs to a gay man!


Anonymous said...

I always wonder why more people don't use the free dating sites like and

midnite99 said...

"Me time" is so important. (There's a reason cliches become cliches...) And taking a dating break can be a good idea, if you use that time to relax and rejuvenate. Here's hoping you find an appealing and *straight* man's profile when you're ready to look!

Loverville said...

Anon: good point, actually, I've never checked those out. When I'm ready to be "out there" again, I might as well give those a shot.

There's a part of me that believes in the adage "you get what you pay for", and that someone on a free dating site might not take it as seriously as someone investing some money in the search.

Saying that -- I could be totally wrong -- after all, Match / J-date haven't exactly yielded the results that I'm looking for!

Dating Trooper - Dating is Warfare said...

Yeah, I once searched "men searching men" just for fun and got really depressed seeing all the wonderful men to NOT choose from. Best to avoid that section if you want to keep thinking straight men are worth all this damn hassle :-)

Good for you for taking a break from dating. I always had a hard time doing that because I mistakenly felt I was wasting valuable time during my supposedly eligible dating window. But that is a total load of crap. There is nothing more painful than trying to date when you aren't up for it. At the very least you need a good sense of humor about you!

Enjoy your "you time."

eH-what? said...

While not the omniscient one with regards to the on-line dating world, I did go to plentyoffish one time just to see...who would be my competition. I searched my exact age of the women on the site in my city. The competition was nothing to write home about. SO, I (perhaps incorrectly) figured the men would probably similarly uninteresting and I skipped it. I've only been on eHarmony, where you can't search. I bet if I did the same thing from POF for J-date or Match I'd see some stiff competition...

Jenny said...

Does anyone know any good dating websites that do background checks or some type of screening for their members???

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