Finally seeing TC tonight, for the first time in over a month, and I’m nervous. In the past, after one of us had been away, I’d prep for his visit by lighting candles and putting on mellow music. This time, I think I need to play it safe – no overtly romantic welcome planned. Trying to keep it as neutral as possible until I assess his vibe.
Our phone conversations felt a bit stilted over the weekend – details about both our trips, work, etc. He finally threw me a bone when we made plans, and he added “looking forward to it”. That’s about the extent of his warmth these days.
In the meantime, I’ve had a very nice distraction: a guy friend e-mailed me, saying a friend of his saw my Facebook profile, and wanted an introduction. Said friend then e-mailed me a bit about himself – let’s call him Skydiver, as he does that quite regularly – but also mentioned that he’s only recently out of a long-term relationship, so if I’d like to meet up, maybe we could do that a few weeks down the road? (OK…) I wrote back, no problem, take your time. So we’ll see. I must admit, it’s nice to have a possible Plan B.
Another very fun distraction: went dancing last night with a group of friends, and our group got along swimmingly with a group of very cute Aussie guys, dancing up a storm. Numbers were exchanged before the guys left – and a few hours later, one of them called me (I missed the call) but didn’t leave a message. I doubt anything will come of it – I think he’s too young, I’m guessing about 6 or 7 years my junior – but the dancing and flirtation was heaps of fun.
Wish me luck tonight! I’m feeling queasy just thinking about it. Stupid, I know. I just can’t get over that terrible feeling that a relationship with the first guy I’ve really liked in three years may be coming to an end.
I know, he’s not the last guy on earth – and if he’s not interested, well, he’s just not the right guy for me. And blah blah blah, the right guy will come along someday, etc. I’m just wallowing in this today… I’m sure tomorrow (or the next day) I’ll be back to my optimistic, fabulous self!
But for today? Dating sucks.