Sunday, March 2, 2008

Good Voice... yum...

The latest: after three dates, I’m giddy about Good Voice. But more about him in a minute.

I’m sure this is going to sound flighty – after all, I was just giddy about the FOF a few days ago. In hindsight, I think the passion with the FOF was definitely alcohol-fueled. Yes, he sent a nice follow-up e-mail the next day – and after a few exchanges, we made tentative plans for a week from now. But you know how you just KNOW when a guy is into you, and is really psyched about seeing you again? I’m not feeling this from him. Still – he’s a nice guy, and I’m happy to keep him around for now – back-burner.

Other update: Fun Bobby. We had our third date this weekend – and while I like him, I don’t really “like him” like him. (have I just regressed 20 years?) This is a guy who IS making it quite clear that he “likes me” likes me: he told me how he thought about me all week… how he wanted to be in touch more, but knew I had a busy week… how he went back to my J-date profile to see what my interests were, so he could plan a fun date for us. Really, a sweet, nice guy. I’m just not feeling it the way he is.

I’ve been wondering if I should continue to see him – and I don’t see why not, at least for now. He hasn’t come right out to ask how I’m feeling about him, or if I’d want to date exclusively. He has commented that he sensed I was “holding back”… I simply said that I like to take my time in getting to know someone. (true) Hey – if he asks anything else, I’ll certainly be truthful. But I can't help but wonder -- am I leading him on?

Quick update: Neighbor Dude – had one date last weekend, after which I wondered if he was my “type”, but would have gone on a second date to see. He never called after that – just as well.

Then there’s Good Voice. I just realized, I never wrote about our second date from last week. It was a great combo of a very nice restaurant, followed by a fun dive bar. I like a guy who can appreciate both. He e-mailed the next day, saying he’d had a lovely time – and asked if he could cook dinner for me next time.

This weekend was that “next time” – and let’s just say, I’m still smiling. We had a fabulous time, without drinking TOO much, so thankfully, any connection there was not necessarily alcohol-fueled. He’s smart, funny, cool, cultured – and yes, a good cook.

No sleepover. No “sexytime”, though there was enough of a connection where I sensed it would be really good – I had to keep reminding myself, anticipation is sexy!

I’m almost in the mindset where I feel that I could be happy dating just him right now – there seems to be strong interest from his end as well (he pretty much said as much). But I know myself – in order to stay level-headed, I need to stay distracted. And that means dating other guys. So I’ll continue to do just that – but I’m especially looking forward to my next date with him, later this week.

Question: given the situation with Fun Bobby – what would your advice be? It’s pretty clear that he’s into me more than I’m into him – and I like another guy (Good Voice) who seems to be into me as well, though it’s too soon to tell where it might go. I can’t help but wonder if I should stop seeing Fun Bobby – I certainly don’t want to lead him on. BUT, he hasn’t come right out and asked if we could date exclusively – if he did, I’d be honest, and say that I didn’t feel that way about him.

OR – could it be that I’m just overthinking all this, as usual?


midnite99 said...

I think the thing to remember is, you're all grown-ups here. Having a few dates with someone is not promising him a lifetime commitment - or even a fourth date. So if you're having fun and enjoying Fun Bobby's company, I think that's fine, as long as you're honest with him.

And yay giddiness. :) I'm glad to hear you're having so many good experiences!

Samantha said...

You can keep going out with Fun Bobby if you like him. If you realize you don't like him, then you stop and you always be honest with him if he asks you anything.

So excited about Good Voice!

Dating Trooper - Dating is Warfare said...

I don't think you are overthinking this opinion is you should probably cut Fun Bobby loose. That seems like the most compassionate thing to do. I mean, why go out with him again if you pretty much know you aren't going to feel much more for him at this point? It's not like you are starving for dates and need something to do! It seems only fair to let him down and move on to all the other options that you don't know for sure about yet.

And I bet the only reason he's not asking you to be exclusive is because he's scared to...but if he's saying all of this other stuff to you, he probably would if he sensed you'd say yes back. So he's being a bit foolish with his own heart, but still you could make his life easier by giving him a friendly "we're just not a romantic fit" speech. Again, just my opinion....
Good luck!

Trish Ryan said...

It sounds like your instincts are pretty solid. If you're not into Fun Bobby, set him free. Otherwise he'll just bug you, and that's no fun. If Good Voice is the one, then great...and if not, someone else will come to fill Fun Bobby's space in the rotation.

Yay for sexy anticipation :)

Anonymous said...

Yes, you're overthinking it. Do you think your last couple of dates would have been quite this overly proactive and courteous towards you? Odds are, you'll be writing about someone else in a week or so, and you won't even remember Fun Bobby in the long run.

eH-what said...

I believe this is where you turn it around and ask yourself,--do you want someone who knows he's not as into you keeping you around, using your time that could be spent pursuing someone who does 'like-like you'?

No, a few dates is not a commitment to anything, but it sounds a bit like you'd be using him as a 'distraction' from the ones you really like.

Treat people how you would like to be treated. The dating world isn't fair, but that doesn't mean you can't hold yourself to the highest level of humanity and class.

Single Girl said...

I'm with the others here- cut Fun Bobby loose if you really aren't into him, it's only fair. No need to keep him around and get his hopes up, you wouldn't want that done to you. Especially when you have two other good prospects. So exciting to hear about Good Voice though!! Can't wait to hear more!!