Saturday, March 8, 2008

Optimistic, yet cautious

I think I’m in a good place re: Good Voice. That giddy, heady rollercoaster feeling seems to have leveled off into a nice, mellow, happy vibe. We had another date this week, with another planned for tomorrow night. We’ve been talking about things we’d like to do together when the weather gets warmer – biking, having a picnic – we’re both pretty outdoorsy (yet we’re both diehard city people – it’s always nice to find someone else with that combination!).

I may have said this before on these pages – I’m a planner. I especially love researching restaurants and bars in the city – of course, this being New York, there’s always something new to discover. Not necessarily high-end – I also find a great deal of satisfaction in finding a little hole in the wall with fabulous food.

My experience with dates is generally that I tend to be the one who makes the suggestions of where we should go – I don’t necessarily mind, after all, I enjoy this type of research. But when a guy takes the reins – ala Good Voice – and says, “hey, I made a reservation at X restaurant for Saturday – what do you think?”. It’s a very refreshing change of pace.

I’ve come to realize that I don’t want to date anyone else at this time – the date with Nice Guy earlier this week made that pretty clear -- but I’m going to keep this information to myself, and wait to see if Good Voice brings up the topic at some point. No hurry.

Amidst the good vibes about Good Voice, I’ve come to realize: I’m still hurting a bit from the TC breakup. (and I’m very annoyed at myself for feeling this way, but what’re you gonna do?) With this in mind, I’m afraid of getting hurt again. I find myself thinking back to the early days when TC was very effusive and excited about me – yet he lost interest over time.

I know. This happens. It’s all about getting to know someone, and sometimes you realize, as you’re peeling away the layers, that you really don’t like what you find underneath. Like anything else in life, dating is about taking risks.

Just something lurking in the back of my mind – I’m not dwelling on it, but it’s… there. A little bit.

And – as a few of you have said – if I do get hurt again? I’ll (eventually) bounce back and will be just fine.

I have a business trip coming up next week, so that will definitely occupy my mind for the near future. Overall, will just try to take it day by day. For now? Looking forward to tomorrow's date with GV.


Samantha said...

Sounds like you are moving at a good and even pace with GV. Can't wait to hear about tomorrow's date!

midnite99 said...

Sounds like you're clear-headed even though you're excited, which seems like a pretty smart combination. Have fun tonight!

mimi of sexagenarian and the city said...

i know exactly what you mean. i was thinking more than i shld have been about Performer in the early days of Plan C....1)trying not to think about him; 2) trying to forget him; 3) comparing the beginning of this relationship w. the beg. of that one; 4) wondering if i was making any of the same mistakes again; 5) contrasting the two men in dif ways etc etc. it's very hard not to do that, and i still find myself doing it a little bit occasionally, but all i can say is, it does wear off. so don't worry if you find yrself thinking about him and feeling angry, sad or just preoccupied -- because sooner or later it will go away.

Dating Trooper - Dating is Warfare said...

Your post title is very accurate and I can definitely sense a different, more calm/happy tone in what you wrote. All good signs! Patience is key - and something I've always been terrible at actually doing. But I like your idea to follow what your gut is telling you re: not dating anyone else but "keeping it to yourself" for now. Well played. I'll be thinking good thoughts for you.

I certainly know what it's like dating after getting burned. You can only do what you can do...and you're doing it!

Heather said...

sounds like you are approaching this in the right way!!! In the mean time, have deserve it!!

Cara Hurley said...

It's normal to be excited yet scared at the same time at the start of a new romance.

Best wishes with Good Voice.


Trish Ryan said...

That's very cool...there's a lot to be said for taking things at a slightly calmer pace. Especially if he's the one making reservations :)