Sunday, April 13, 2008

Hiatus

A few weeks ago, I wrote that I was feeling pretty confident that GV was quite into me – but it seems that now, he’s just not as effusive as he was then. Must stop overthinking things, and keep in mind that there’s bound to be an ebb and flow in a relationship – especially in a new relationship. (while paying attention to any potential warning signs!).

At the same time… this week, in a group setting, he (pleasantly) surprised me by introducing me to someone as “my girlfriend, [LV]”. It’s just that old “wait and see” game, isn’t it? I’ve never been good at that one – patience is NOT my strong point.

And now –we’re about to go on hiatus, of a sort. I’m heading out of town this week, to be gone for several weeks. On my last business trip, GV and I kept in touch regularly, so we’ll just have to see what this latest separation brings. We’ve already talked about planning another little getaway together when I return, so that’s something to look forward to.

In case I don’t have a chance to write from the road, Happy Spring, everyone!

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

The fear

Despite a lovely weekend with Good Voice – walks in the woods... cuddling in front of a fireplace, getting sleepy from the heat and red wine – I’m currently wrapped up inside my own head, and can’t seem to find a way out.

I feel that I’m getting “the fear”.

The fear that we may have too much of an age difference. The fear that I might start to really like him, but not vice versa. The fear that he may like me, but not vice versa. The fear that this might not work out, and I’ll have to get “out there” again. The fear that I’ll never find someone to fall in love with me again.

I know… way too much overthinking. By all accounts, this seems like it’s going well – we already have plans set for later this week.

UPDATE: while I was brooding and writing the above (it didn’t help that I had a massive fight via e-mail, text AND voicemail with an acquaintance today, and was in a crappy mood), my best friend D called to say she was having dinner and drinks with some friends nearby and I just HAD to join them.

Spirits are much better now. Perspective has been gained. At the moment, am able to just chill, and take this day by day. (emphasis on "at the moment")

Saturday, April 5, 2008

When it rains, it truly pours

Good Voice updates for this week – brace yourself, some big developments here!
1. I took him out for his birthday (you knew that was coming)
2. I met his teenage son (I can hear a collective, “I didn’t know he had a son!”. Details to follow)
3. We’re going away for (part of) the weekend.
4. I’m really falling in “like” with this guy.

Starting with the birthday: he was wowed by the royal treatment we received at the cozy new restaurant I had chosen (my friend knows the owner, put in the good word for me). I partially ignored your advice, and had compiled a small bag of gifts – nothing extravagant – a book I knew he would like, as well as some silly, some kitschy little gifts. He was very touched by this – said the whole evening made him feel special. (I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy and smiley just thinking about the night!)

Other big development – meeting his son. I mentioned earlier, GV is a few years older than I am – and yes, he has a teenage son. On one of our early dates, I heard him talking to his son on the phone – the warmth and love in his voice was very endearing.

A few hours before GV and I were to go out for his birthday, he casually e-mailed me, asking if I’d like to meet at his place – and I could meet GV Jr., who would be there that night.

I immediately got so nervous, I developed a stomachache and actually felt a bit queasy for much of the afternoon (it’s a good thing I don’t get nervous all that often, since there’s the problem of this terrible side effect!). Lots of deep breaths as I took the elevator up to his place. And I met him – a sweet, good-looking, polite, just plain normal teenager. Some casual conversation about school and TV shows before GV and I left for dinner.

In the taxi to the restaurant, I told GV that I was touched and honored that he wanted me to meet his son. I really wish I could remember things as they’re said verbatim – in my nervousness it becomes a big blur – but he said something like, “well, that’s pretty indicative of how I feel about you”. Wow. (once again, I’m getting that lovely, giddy feeling as I’m sitting here typing, trying to recapture that moment!).

The next Big Thing: we’re going to a lovely B&B for part of the weekend, leaving tomorrow – our first time spending a significant chunk of time together. He chose the place, and I’m thrilled just thinking about it.

For the first time, I’m starting to allow myself to think, we may really have something here! He’s a wonderful, funny, smart, cute, vivacious guy – and he seems into me as well. I’m a little nervous about a longer-than-usual business trip I have coming up later this month, wondering what kind of effect a few weeks apart will have on our fledgling relationship. Will just have to enjoy the moments together until that time, and continue to hope for the best.