Wednesday, May 21, 2008

And that’s that. Again.

I had “The Talk” with Good Voice. Seems that we might continue to see each other, but with no expectations.

Seemingly out of nowhere, right? Well… not so much.

Truth be told – I didn’t want to admit it here (or really to myself) – while I thought GV was a great guy, I never really felt that kind of feeling for him. I actually tried to create those feelings for him – after all, he’s a wonderful guy – sweet, smart, successful. I thought that I *should* have felt more for him than I was actually feeling.

In the beginning, I was swept up in the excitement of this cool guy – and the attention he lavished on me didn’t hurt either. As time went on, and the “new” excitement wore off, I started to see our differences more and more.

When we first met, he mentioned that he did want to get married again at some point, and he did want to have more kids. Somehow, we revisited this topic just before my trip… but now he was saying that he wasn’t sure what he wanted, on both counts. Oh. That, coupled with my lingering doubts about him – well, what the hell were we doing anyway?

We had a little getaway this weekend – in the back of my head, I felt this was “make or break” time. We had a nice time together, but it wasn’t exactly the warm, sweet vibe you want in a lovely setting like that.

After coming back, and after digesting the weekend for a bit, I had to bring up the talk. He understood. It was a friendly, civilized talk, and we're still going ahead with plans for a big group dinner with some of my friends this weekend.

So – that’s how we got here. And I’m 100% OK with it – a bit relieved, actually. I didn’t have quite the emotional investment I had with Teen Crush (almost forgot his blog name for a minute!), so I’ll be just fine.

And … seeing as I pre-paid for six fricking months of J-date just around the time I met Good Voice, I’m certainly going to get my money’s worth now! (though I just had a quick look, and I’m not really impressed)

In other Guy News: had a platonic lunch with Cute Chef today. I mentioned him a while ago – he’s the chef / owner of the uber-trendy restaurant on my block – and I had the hots for him some time back.

Now we’re just in the Friend Zone, which is just fine. (oh yes, and he has a girlfriend now anyway!) He’s still a cutie, and we’re better off being just friends anyway. I don’t know if I could date a chef – the hours are crazy. (sorry, LKL, I know you’ll disagree with me! But I’m right!)

Another update in the Guy Newsletter: Flirt e-mailed me yesterday, inviting me to his gig tonight (he’s a jazz musician). I just might go… it doesn’t hurt that it’s only about three blocks from my apartment. He also happened to mention that he’s newly single. Well – whattaya know…

And this is neither here nor there, but I saw Minnie Driver on the street today. She looked radiant.


Dating Trooper - Dating is Warfare said...

Well, I would say "sorry" but it sounds like you are feeling pretty good about it. Good for you guys for both handling it so, well, normally!
But going back to the drawing board is a bummer. I have no doubt you will bounce back quickly - sounds like you already are!

a&v said...

Oh, I had such hopes for Good Voice! But from what you write here, you made the right decision. Next!

mimi of 'sexagenarian and the city' said...

well, it's very wise not to try to make the relationship into something it could never be. i hope you don't feel too sad. and i wish you lots of good luck and many dates in the coming weeks. i've lost track of what number you're at -- 100 & something? i'm beginning to think yr dating life would make a good graphic novel...

Loverville said...

Thanks, everyone, for comments from some of my favorite bloggers!

Yes -- this happened for the best. We'll see -- I think I'd be bummed if GV was going to be 100% out of my life, but that might not be the case...?

Had a fun, wine-filled evening with Flirt... more on that later. Suffice to say, I came home alone!

Loverville said...

PS -- Mimi -- my next first date will be #109!

midnite99 said...

Sounds like you did what was right for you -- go you! And I'm glad you had good Flirt-y fun!

wineandthecity said...

hiya LG. I haven't commented in a looooooong time but I'm still reading. Thinking hard about what you said re: felt like you *should* have had that certain feeling about GV even though you didn't quite. I think I might be in that same boat..your post gave me the nudge I need to at least ask myself to take a closer look.
meanwhhile, yeah, go hear some jazz! you never know who is gonna be in the audience!

Anonymous said...

well, i had a guy dump me because he said he "should" be falling in love by now and wasn't. so that was that. i said "ok, bye, whatever!"

i would add that he now is a 54 year old never married man.

LKL said...

"I don’t know if I could date a chef – the hours are crazy. (sorry, LKL, I know you’ll disagree with me! But I’m right!)"

I just caught up with your last 2 months - so no, I don't disagree with you! The hours are crazy. I guess the key is to find someone who's just as crazy. ;)