Friday, May 16, 2008

I like big ducks and I cannot lie

(slightly tipsy post, but the story was so hilarious I had to share it right away!)

Met some friends for drinks tonight. Many drinks into the evening, and we're sharing online dating stories. J’s story was so hilarious, I made her repeat it for any friends who came along later in the night:

She had exchanged a few e-mails with a new guy, when he asked for her number. A few days later he texts her (note: texts, not calls), asking if she was free that night. Damned if she was going to be someone’s last minute plans (especially if he was too lazy to call!), so after a few exchanged texts, they made plans to meet a few days later.

Later that night, she gets another text from this same guy, asking, “Do you like big d*cks?” (verbatim, including the asterisk) As if his inclusion of the asterisk would make his query more polite, somehow?

After pondering for a while how to respond to this unexpected text, she finally decides that a short and to-the-point response was best: “Lose my number”.

The next day he texted her, apologizing (“I’m sorry, I was drunk!), and e-mailed a similar apology AND tried to call her (no message). Of course, she didn’t bother responding, smart cookie that she is.


After hearing this story, I (jokingly!) tried to play devil’s advocate: maybe he meant DUCKS? Like the guys in the big Daffy Duck costumes you see at Disneyland? Or maybe he meant DOCKS? We have some rather oversized docks here in NYC…?

But seriously folks! WTF is with some of these guys? Actually, we should be grateful for them, in a way, for all the blog fodder they provide.

And – they make normal guys like Good Voice look that much better.


mimi of 'sexagenarian and the city' said...

hilarious, outrageous, and [of course] great material. hoping to meet you so i can tell you my unprintable stories...kinks you wouldn't believe.

Dating Trooper - Dating is Warfare said...

Gross! What a perfect response she gave though!

Anonymous said...

Like his being drunk was an excuse! It really was a perfect response.
I also think it's pointless to meet up with a guy you haven't spoken to on the phone. The phone is a good way of screening them out.
In this case, however, his texts were enough to screen him out.

Trish Ryan said...

You're so right. What these guys lack in suitable date qualities, they more than make up for in blog material.

London-Lass said...

Given how this story turned out I wonder if the guy wasnt just hinting at what may be dangling against his inner thigh but that he is actually `one big cock'. Sorry (where are my manners??) - `one big c*ck'.

I had a similar experience here - well it involved a cock anyway (whoops - sorry! - c*ck) and again not necessarily the sort found swinging in the groinal department.

The City Gal said...

Thanks for the advice :)

I love your blog! Next time I visit NYC, we should have a drink!


ha ha ha