Wednesday, August 27, 2008

To date others... or not?

Things seem to still be going well with Mr. Possible – we e-mailed and texted daily (even several times a day) while I was out of town. Saw each other the night after my return, and had a very nice evening together.

This is interesting, however. His e-mails are very warm and affectionate, but in person? A little less so – almost friend-zone for the first few hours. Last time I saw him, I was the one to initiate a bit of hand-holding, as well as the first kiss of the evening.

I’m starting to wonder, now that my head is coming out of both a work-induced fog, as well as a bit of Cute-New-Guy fog – should I continue to date other guys while I see if things progress with Mr. Possible?

A few weeks ago, I exchanged several e-mails with two other potential J-guys, but warned them that I had a busy month ahead, and would most likely be out of touch for some time. Part of me just wants to date Possible, and enjoy seeing what develops – the other part feels that I shouldn’t put all my eggs in one basket. We haven’t determined that we’re exclusive (too early for that anyway), so who knows if he’s currently dating other women at the moment? It would be especially easy for him, considering I'm out of town occasionally.

I ran this question by my good guy friend A – his response was, absolutely, you should be dating other guys until you reach the point where you determine that you’re exclusive, whenever that is. But you shouldn’t determine that until you’ve been dating a few months anyway.

I’m sure the “logical” answer is, just do what feels right. And right now, dating only Possible feels right. But I’ve tried to trust my gut in the past, and have learned that it can’t always be trusted.

Thoughts?

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Mr. Possible

Had another date with the newly blog-named Mr. Possible, formerly and briefly known as 116 (thanks, Mimi!). He continues to be adorable, funny, charming, etc. He also continues to tell me how happy he is that he's met me, and that he has a great time with me. I feel the same way about him -- even though this all feels a bit surreal -- a bit sudden.

Alas, not going to see him for over a week, as I'm going out of town. I have a feeling we'll continue to be in touch -- he gives good e-mail (and text).

Ah -- and those kisses! We've both acknowledged that it's best to move slowly -- but wow, the chills he gives me just from kissing me or caressing my hair? Really. Really. Sweet. The anticipation is sexy... but I'm also looking forward to what may (hopefully) follow. In time.

Interesting timing -- my pre-paid six months of J-date is just about to expire. Even if Mr. Possible weren't around, I wouldn't have much time for new dates in the coming month or so. No sense in wasting money renewing the membership I wouldn't have time to use anyway.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

One hundred sixteen

Last time, I wrote that I was about to go out with a new J-guy. It turned out to be a fabulous date - -and the second one, a week later, was even better. He’s whip-smart – super-funny – incredibly cute. To say I’m very mildly smitten wouldn’t be inaccurate – and from the vibe he’s giving, the feeling seems to be mutual.

I know – whoa, Nelly! Yes, yes, I know – take it slowly, and all that. I certainly am -- or at least, trying. And when he writes to me that he thinks I’m gorgeous and can’t wait to see me again, I’m careful to keep my responses just a bit cooler. I just realized – we’ve e-mailed every single day since that first date, in addition to texts and phone calls sprinkled in there as well. It just feels "right".

Cute Jewess just blogged about this recently – we’ve both had experience with these guys who come on really strong, then fizzle just as quickly. Not to say this new guy will fall into that category – I’m just being cautious, that’s all.

But when someone who seems fabulous also seems to recognize the fabulous in you? Hard not to be a bit seduced by that.

Third date planned for this weekend, then I’m going out of town for work for a week – it’s a good thing to be a bit unavailable, and put the brakes on this for the moment.

I’m having a hard time coming up with a blog name for him! It’s hard to pinpoint just one quality about him. “Mr. Wonderful” could work – but sounds like that’s more of an ironic name for an asshole. Simply “Mr. X”? No – sounds like I’m implying that he is or could be an “ex” – don’t want that! Other references to his great smile, sharp wit, fabulous sense of humor then exclude his other good qualities.

So for now – he’ll simply be 116. (as the 116th first date I’ve had since my last serious relationship) It would be nice if there weren’t any other numbers after that one, wouldn’t it…?

As far as the other guys I’ve smooched lately – I’m not deleting their numbers just yet. We’ve exchanged e-mails, but no solid plans to get together any time soon (I’m too busy anyway). But the fact is, I know that they’re really just smooch-buddies – if there’s been no progression towards relationship-land with any of them by now (the Friend of a Friend… Fun Bobby… Good Hair Guy), then it’s never happening.

But 116? Possible potential. We’ll see.

In the meantime, if you have clever blog name suggestions for a guy who’s adorable, fun, smart, witty, etc – send them my way!

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Recycling, #115, and tonight's date

It’s been a busy summer – while the summer is a quiet time at work for most people, right now I’m ridiculously busy, and will continue to be that way for the next month or so. Those of you with half-day Fridays? I'm jealous!

In the meantime – I haven’t been very active with online dating lately – but I’ve been continuing the “recycling” theme. Last time I wrote about seeing Teen Crush (ex-boyfriend from late last year) and Good Hair Guy (on and off FWB for the past two years).

Some other past guys have resurfaced recently:

Fun Bobby: we had a few dates earlier this year, but I stopped seeing him in order to date Good Voice exclusively. He texted me out of the blue about a month ago – he was in my neighborhood, was I around? I was having dinner with my best friend, so it wasn’t an ideal time to meet up, but we agreed to get together soon.

We met for dinner this week – it was unclear for most of the night if this was going to be just platonic, or if this was a “date” – we shared recent dating stories, but finished the night with some very nice kissing. I enjoy his company, but just don’t see him as a boyfriend – can’t explain why.

He’s much more honest and open with his thoughts and feelings than most guys I know – I can’t remember how it came up, but he brought up the fact that I had written to him earlier this year to let him know that I couldn’t date him any longer. He said he appreciated that I wrote to him, rather than just disappear into the ether.

Another guy who has re-surfaced is the FOF – the Friend of a Friend: last time I saw him, months ago, there was some very passionate smooching, with the temptation to spend the night at his place. (it took some very strong willpower to go home alone!) We were in touch occasionally after that, but there was always something that got in the way of us getting together – I was out of the country, his mom was visiting from out of town, etc.

He IM’d me out of the blue a few days ago – long story short, we had another date, with more passionate kissing – but it's impossible to tell when I’m going to see him again. We’re both about to go out of town for work – he has a job coming up in another city that will keep him there for about three months.

Almost forgot about this one – I had a date with a new J-guy recently – my 115th first date in the past 3½ years. Nice guy, decent phone connection, but no in-person zing.

Tonight: a date with a new J-guy – I’m excited about this one – we discovered that we went to the same college (graduated at different times), and even have some friends in common. Nice – gives it a bit more of a personal connection than the usual anonymous online date. Wish me luck!

While I’ve been having a good time on these dates, and enjoying some first-base intimacy – I’m all too aware that I’d much rather be intimate with just ONE special guy. I’m still optimistic.