Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Date #118: Wow.

When I last wrote, my last paragraph was about New Guy – we’d been writing to each other for over a week while he was out of town on business. Great connection online – but after you’ve been doing this online dating thing a while, you learn that that does NOT necessarily translate to an in-person click. We’d made plans for the weekend, and were both very much looking forward to it.

Finally got a chance to talk on the phone for the first time – right away, I sensed that he was a happy, optimistic person – it’s amazing how much you can learn about a person just by talking for five minutes. Unfortunately, I had to cut the call short, as I was about to meet friends for dinner, but we agreed to continue our chat later that night.

When he called me later, he was just finishing his own dinner with friends, and happened to be in my neighborhood. My spontaneous side kicked in – it was a gut response to say, “Since you’re in the neighborhood, do you want to grab a quick drink tonight?”. He said he’d love to.

I quickly freshened up, and as I walked to meet him, I was more nervous about this first date than any other I could recall. So far I’d liked everything about him – it would be a shame if there weren’t an attraction there.

Truth be told, when I met him I didn’t feel an immediate swoon. It took a little while for my nervousness to subside over drinks, and to just plain relax and enjoy his company. I can’t explain it – it wasn’t the alcohol – and one point, something inside me clicked, and I found myself thinking, WOW! This guy is adorable! And funny! And smart, and sweet, and all the good things I look for in a guy. There was just so much to talk about, and so many anecdotes to share. It was so natural when he eventually leaned in for a kiss – it had the excitement of a first kiss, but the comfort of a familiar kiss, strangely enough. Incredible.

He walked me home, we shared more passionate kisses outside my door – when I went inside, I was shocked to see that the clock on my cable box read 2:05 am. This morning, I woke up to read an e-mail from him about what a wonderful time he’d had, and how he couldn’t wait to see me again.

We exchanged a few e-mails throughout the day, leaving a permanent big, goofy grin on my face. Am keeping a level head about him (or trying to), while enjoying this giddy feeling.

In the back of my mind, however, I’m reminded of an experience a good friend just went through: met a fabulous guy who wooed her like crazy. Took her on wonderful, thoughtful dates. Talking, e-mailing, texting every day, many times a day. Lots of honest talk – or so she thought. And then? He disappeared. Just like that. Re-surfaced briefly to express the tiniest bit of doubt – then dropped off the face of the earth. Refused to return her e-mails and messages. She still has no idea what made him do a complete about-face like that.

Man, I felt for her. What kind of advice can you give in that situation? More than anything, I wanted to break the guy’s legs for hurting my friend… but in the back of my mind, I found myself thinking: that could happen to me.

I’m not implying that all (or even most) guys are out to intentionally hurt a woman, but I have to constantly remind myself: Take. It. Slowly. Don’t be so willing to hand over your heart. Even continue to date other guys, to keep a level head. No need to rush things.

Anyway – I can’t think of a blog name for this great new guy! It’s a lot easier to think of these for the negative dates. For now, he just remains New Guy.

Ha – remember last week’s flaky guy, Good on Paper? After I returned his last call, leaving a message, I never heard from him again. Just as well – it was getting tiresome. Anyway, he’s a Wall Street guy, so I’m sure he has enough to worry about right now!


a&v said...

NG sounds great! Such a connection is a rare thing, so I'm really happy for you. May it continue ... can't wait to hear more!

Dating Trooper - Dating is Warfare said...

How about calling him "Wow"? The title of the post he inspired? Just a thought.
Very exciting news. It's so hard to draw that fine line between "excited" and "excited with expectations." But if there's anything I've learned in my dating battles (and I've had many ambushes like your poor friend), you have to keep risking your life if you ever want to win. Just keep your friends (and your blog) around to get you through any battle wounds. Hopefully you won't need us this time!
Can't wait to read about Date #2 with NG (or Wow)!

mimi of 'sexagenarian and the city' said...

i feel i've written this a million times, the superstitious phrase "fingers crossed" -- it suggests that the universe is ruled by powers we don't understand, and that joy at this early stage will always, rightly, be mixed with anxiety. it's 'good luck' with an awareness of complicated causality -- ah screw it, you know what i mean: please, this time, let it work!

Anonymous said...

I think you would be wise to be cautiously optimistic - emphasis on the cautious bit. It's so easy (and so FUN) to jump into it, but you'd be wise to hold back, just a little, little bit. Easy to say, hard to do, I know. But I've found that the guys who are so unabashedly into me from the get are the ones who disappear the most rapidly. Make him take the time to get to know you.