When I last wrote, my last paragraph was about New Guy – we’d been writing to each other for over a week while he was out of town on business. Great connection online – but after you’ve been doing this online dating thing a while, you learn that that does NOT necessarily translate to an in-person click. We’d made plans for the weekend, and were both very much looking forward to it.
Finally got a chance to talk on the phone for the first time – right away, I sensed that he was a happy, optimistic person – it’s amazing how much you can learn about a person just by talking for five minutes. Unfortunately, I had to cut the call short, as I was about to meet friends for dinner, but we agreed to continue our chat later that night.
When he called me later, he was just finishing his own dinner with friends, and happened to be in my neighborhood. My spontaneous side kicked in – it was a gut response to say, “Since you’re in the neighborhood, do you want to grab a quick drink tonight?”. He said he’d love to.
I quickly freshened up, and as I walked to meet him, I was more nervous about this first date than any other I could recall. So far I’d liked everything about him – it would be a shame if there weren’t an attraction there.
Truth be told, when I met him I didn’t feel an immediate swoon. It took a little while for my nervousness to subside over drinks, and to just plain relax and enjoy his company. I can’t explain it – it wasn’t the alcohol – and one point, something inside me clicked, and I found myself thinking, WOW! This guy is adorable! And funny! And smart, and sweet, and all the good things I look for in a guy. There was just so much to talk about, and so many anecdotes to share. It was so natural when he eventually leaned in for a kiss – it had the excitement of a first kiss, but the comfort of a familiar kiss, strangely enough. Incredible.
He walked me home, we shared more passionate kisses outside my door – when I went inside, I was shocked to see that the clock on my cable box read 2:05 am. This morning, I woke up to read an e-mail from him about what a wonderful time he’d had, and how he couldn’t wait to see me again.
We exchanged a few e-mails throughout the day, leaving a permanent big, goofy grin on my face. Am keeping a level head about him (or trying to), while enjoying this giddy feeling.
In the back of my mind, however, I’m reminded of an experience a good friend just went through: met a fabulous guy who wooed her like crazy. Took her on wonderful, thoughtful dates. Talking, e-mailing, texting every day, many times a day. Lots of honest talk – or so she thought. And then? He disappeared. Just like that. Re-surfaced briefly to express the tiniest bit of doubt – then dropped off the face of the earth. Refused to return her e-mails and messages. She still has no idea what made him do a complete about-face like that.
Man, I felt for her. What kind of advice can you give in that situation? More than anything, I wanted to break the guy’s legs for hurting my friend… but in the back of my mind, I found myself thinking: that could happen to me.
I’m not implying that all (or even most) guys are out to intentionally hurt a woman, but I have to constantly remind myself: Take. It. Slowly. Don’t be so willing to hand over your heart. Even continue to date other guys, to keep a level head. No need to rush things.
Anyway – I can’t think of a blog name for this great new guy! It’s a lot easier to think of these for the negative dates. For now, he just remains New Guy.
Ha – remember last week’s flaky guy, Good on Paper? After I returned his last call, leaving a message, I never heard from him again. Just as well – it was getting tiresome. Anyway, he’s a Wall Street guy, so I’m sure he has enough to worry about right now!