Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Jumping the shark

My, how things can change in the course of a week!

A week ago, I wrote how Possible’s e-mails were very complimentary and sweet, but in person – not so much.

Now his e-mails have become a bit more distant, more in line with his in-person M.O. No more addressing me as “cutie” or signing off with “besos”. And I’m 100% OK with this.

Turns out I did have some doubts about him after all, but I was trying to let the positive outweigh the negative. Now I’m allowing myself to acknowledge these traits – and I’m realizing that he’s really not my kind of guy after all. When a cute, smart, fun guy comes on strong? AND you have good chemistry? Hard not to get swept up in that.

Yes, he’s still sweet / cute / smart / funny. But in his mid-30’s, he still lives with a roommate. Rather – not just one roommate. More than one… or two… or three. (constant fear of this blog being “discovered” prevents me from including further details). It's like a “Real World” crowded house situation.

There are other ways in which he’s mid-thirties going on mid-twenties. Call me shallow, but I believe that when you first start dating someone, you should be trying to make the best impression possible – this includes dressing in a manner appropriate for an evening out, not dressing as though you’re going to a picnic.

If it sounds like I’m being catty because I feel slighted – that’s not it at all. I’m just admitting to myself that these (and other factors) are making me think that this is not a relationship to pursue. And for reasons of his own, he apparently feels the same way.

The past few times we saw each other, before the end of the date we’d made plans to see each other again. Not this last time. A few e-mails exchanged since, and still no mention of getting together again. If there is indeed a “next time”, I’ll suss out the situation – but might just bring up the talk of what we both seem to already know. Then again, such a talk might not even be necessary.

A few possible new dates on the horizon – talked to one guy about a date next week, and have a tentative date planned with another for later this week. Glad I didn’t write them off last week! (as always, thanks for your advice on that)


mimi of 'sexagenarian and the city' said...

how i know that feeling -- letting the negatives 'speak' when you know you probably won't be dating him any more.

but then, it's really hard to weigh pros & cons when you barely know someone; hard to determine whether the qualities you don't like should be tolerated or offer grounds for total rejection. it takes time...

and now i'm back in the game too, ever hopeful!

Anonymous said...

I think you did the right thing of course to continue seeing others. It allowed you to compare and notice how he was fizzling out. Definitely not mature enough yet. The right one will be able to wait it out.

Mo :)