Sunday, October 26, 2008

Fricking patience

I miss New Guy.

It's been nearly a week since we've seen each other -- he's been out of town on a business trip for a few days now, but we have plans to see each other when he gets back later this week.

Big "harrumph" -- despite very sweet, warm e-mails just before he left, I haven't heard from him since he's been away. I know how crazed business trips can be... but still. Just trying to exercise patience. It's always harder for the person who is still at home, isn't it?

Then there's Super Cutie -- I finally got an e-mail from him a week and a half after our last date. I'm convinced there's nothing there anyway - but even just having him "available" via e-mail might be a good distraction to prevent me from focusing too much energy on New Guy. No immediate plans with him at the moment -- he's traveling a lot for work these days -- but it's kind of nice to keep him in the picture, even if it's just electronically.

In the "totally unexpected" department: I was at a bar with friends on Friday, and met a guy -- let's call him Smiley. He's a friend of a friend of a friend. Cute, charming, funny. There may have been some mild flirting going on... or was it the booze? We exchanged cards -- maybe I'll hear from him, maybe I won't. Regardless, I can't remember the last time I met a guy in the wild!*

As much as I'd love to focus all my attention on New Guy, I feel it's too soon. Even if I don't do as much as kiss another guy, it's nice to know that there are other options out there.

In another department, this time, "WTF?": I got a Facebook friend request today from Good Voice! Remember him? The douchebag who lied about his age, and started seeing other women while I was out of town (while we were supposedly dating exclusively)? Some details here.

No note of explanation why he wanted to add me as a friend again. I briefly considered accepting his request out of curiosity to see if an explanation would follow. Then I remembered how disgusted I was with him at the end of our time together, and hit IGNORE with great satisfaction.

* thanks to Dating Trooper for the coinage.

Monday, October 20, 2008

One-month recap

A quick update -- swamped with work these days.

New Guy: just passed the one-month point since our first date, and still moving along nicely. Haven't seen him as much as I'd like lately (we've both been out of town on business trips here and there)... but he's still giving signs that he's enjoying our time together. Eg, the other day he mentioned a quaint nearby town where he'd like us to do a day trip.

Doing my best not to analyze and overthink it -- it helps that I'm too busy with work to devote too much brain time to him! But now that I'm mulling over him as I try to write this? I'm smiling and a bit giddy with the thought of him. So yes, I like him... quite a bit.

Super Cutie: I'm getting the "he's just not that into you" vibe from him, which is totally OK. Amusing, even. Had a third date last week, and he seemed a little too quick to want to dash from our brief goodnight kiss. No word since then.

So what does this mean... when work eases up in a few weeks, I'll need to decide if I want to get back on J-date (my membership expired), or just see what happens with the adorable, wonderful New Guy? Will decide at that time.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Just chill.

Things might be OK with New Guy after all – here’s hoping.

It was a small, simple gesture – just a little gift he gave to me. Nothing expensive – not at all – but it was very sweet and thoughtful, and it was something he knew I’d like. I’m still touched.

It had been nearly a week since I’d seen him last, and in the back of my mind, I went into our date feeling that things were somehow different. By the time we said goodnight, however, it seemed that we were back in that happy place.

A bit of forced slowness this month – we won’t have much of a chance to see each other over the next few weeks, as we’re both busy with work, and we both have a few business trips approaching. I’m one of the most impatient people I know, but even I can acknowledge that taking it slowly can only be a good thing.

Then there’s Super Cutie. We had that second date – I went into it expecting (and truthfully, somewhat hoping) that there would be no connection. But we had a lovely time, and I have a feeling we’ll see each other again. Admittedly, I don’t feel that same immediate *zing* that I felt from the start with New Guy – but really, how much importance should one give the zing?

Incidentally – these two guys have the same name. Different variations on the same name (ala, “Phil” and “Philip”) – but yes, same name. This can be a good thing – but the possibility for a misstep is there. Let’s just say that I’m VERY careful about eyeing the guy’s name before I send out that e-mail or text message.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Guys and their patterns

It seems this pattern has been playing over and over – not just for me, but for friends as well:
1. Cool, great guy comes on strong – very flattering, very attentive.
2. Girl tries to keep a level head – but, well, after dating so many crappy guys, the attention is seductive.
3. Things seem absolutely fantastic for a little while – girl thinks, wow, I don’t even want to date anyone else right now!
4. Guy retreats. Sometimes disappears altogether. Girl is left thinking – WTF?

This isn't exactly what’s happening with New Guy… but we’re somewhere in the early moments of Phase Four. His sweet, lovely e-mails from the beginning, filled with excitement about when he can see me again? Now – not so much. Much less frequent – not nearly as flirty.

To be honest – I just realized: THIS is how it really should be. This early on, after a few weeks knowing a person, you really don’t need to talk or e-mail every day – and really, should you be gushing over the other person when you barely know them?

And yet, even with this knowledge – why does it feel like a bit of a downer? (answer: because I’ve received a wake-up call, but I kind of enjoyed the fantasy…)

So – with that knowledge – I’m happy I never cut ties with Super Cutie. We just made plans to get together sometime next week. And there’s another J-guy I need to write back to.

And New Guy? Well – he’s going out of town this weekend, but said he’d be reachable by cell, and that he’d be in touch. Not sure when I’m going to see him again – I HATE not having those plans in place, but am learning to exhale and deal with it.

In the meantime… other plans are being made, and, well – we’ll see where I can fit New Guy in.