It seems this pattern has been playing over and over – not just for me, but for friends as well:
1. Cool, great guy comes on strong – very flattering, very attentive.
2. Girl tries to keep a level head – but, well, after dating so many crappy guys, the attention is seductive.
3. Things seem absolutely fantastic for a little while – girl thinks, wow, I don’t even want to date anyone else right now!
4. Guy retreats. Sometimes disappears altogether. Girl is left thinking – WTF?
This isn't exactly what’s happening with New Guy… but we’re somewhere in the early moments of Phase Four. His sweet, lovely e-mails from the beginning, filled with excitement about when he can see me again? Now – not so much. Much less frequent – not nearly as flirty.
To be honest – I just realized: THIS is how it really should be. This early on, after a few weeks knowing a person, you really don’t need to talk or e-mail every day – and really, should you be gushing over the other person when you barely know them?
And yet, even with this knowledge – why does it feel like a bit of a downer? (answer: because I’ve received a wake-up call, but I kind of enjoyed the fantasy…)
So – with that knowledge – I’m happy I never cut ties with Super Cutie. We just made plans to get together sometime next week. And there’s another J-guy I need to write back to.
And New Guy? Well – he’s going out of town this weekend, but said he’d be reachable by cell, and that he’d be in touch. Not sure when I’m going to see him again – I HATE not having those plans in place, but am learning to exhale and deal with it.
In the meantime… other plans are being made, and, well – we’ll see where I can fit New Guy in.