Sunday, November 9, 2008

Limbo is NOT a fun game.

(at least when it comes to dating!)

But first -- the BIG news of the week: President Obama! I'm still thrilled, giddy, ecstatic beyond belief. But -- back to my dating woes... :-)

Sigh -- oh, New Guy. Where the hell do we stand? After a few days of being incommunicado last week (partially because we were both busy volunteering for Obama) -- he had this to share: he just got some news that is weighing him down, and he needs a few days to digest it. Not a crisis, he assured me -- and not something he wants to share at the moment -- but he's not feeling very social right now, and would it be OK if we talked in a few days?

I was as supportive as I could be, not knowing the situation. After making sure that no deaths, illnesses or jail was involved, we managed to have our usual fun, sweet, flirty banter. I hung up feeling OK about "our" situation -- but that confidence has wavered in the few days since then.

One of the most frustrating things is that I feel that I can't contact him right now -- I have to wait for him to come up for air, whenever he's ready. It's also pretty disappointing that he feels that he can't confide in me about this issue -- then again, can I really say that, given that I don't know what the issue is?

Then there was the night with Good Hair Guy: before New Guy and I talked about the above (or rather, didn't really talk about it), there was a few days of radio silence. During that time, Good Hair Guy asked to meet me for a drink -- while we've been FWB (Friends With Benefits) on and off for a few years, we've had many a platonic drink together. I fully expected this night to be another one of those -- even texted a friend beforehand that I was 99.9% sure this would be one of those platonic evenings, especially because he had some business-related questions for me.

And most of the night was just that -- platonic. Somehow, things got a bit flirtier, legs got a bit closer, more red wine was consumed. Kissing ensued. Wound up back at his place -- we've always had good chemistry and it might have been tempting to spend the night, but my guilty conscience quickly kicked in, and I left soon after.

Technically, would that be cheating? Who knows? New Guy and I haven't gotten as far as having the "exclusive" talk -- still, while it's one thing to kiss someone else, I just couldn't sleep with someone else while there's still a possibility we may have some semblance of a relationship here. So I remain in limbo. It's fricking frustrating.

One ego-boosting distraction: a guy from summer camp 20-something years ago recently found me on Facebook, and our e-mails have begun to take on a slightly flirty tone. Turns out we have a mutual non-camp friend -- let's call him Phil -- I ran into Phil at a party this weekend, and he told me that Camper had recently asked about me, and that he was "trying to get together with me". Oh really...? Nice to have a distraction for now, as I test my patience with New Guy.

Update on Super Cutie: after I "officially" pulled the plug recently, he wrote back a few sweet, supportive e-mail -- turns out he's trying to launch a new work project, and isn't in a relationship state of mind anyway, but he enjoyed my company, and maybe we could stay in touch as movie buddies? Works for me.


A fair fairy said...

I have always been horrible at limbo moments so I empathize in the most empathizing way possible. I hate hate hate not knowing where I stand to the point of sounding completely OCD-crazy-manic sometimes. You totally don't sound like it so don't think I am trying to say that I relate, because well... you might be offended and scream at your computer: "whaaa? but I certainly am not a crazy OCD maniac!" I am just saying... I understand... of course it's not helping. sorry. heh.

mimi of 'sexagenarian and the city' said...

that's a really tricky situation. however, i'll boldly offer some thoughts: because NG has left you in limbo & has not communicated, and because you have not had the exclusivity talk, my opinion is that you should do whatever you feel like doing (within the usual limits...!). NG seems to me to be thoughtless. whatever the problem, he should be kind and communicative. you should keep yourself happy in whatever way you like. and meet someone else!
that's my 3 cents.

Loverville said...

Fair Fairy: thanks for the kind words, but I do know that I AM pretty much an OCD maniac! I'm just trying to turn down the crazy, just a little bit...

Mimi: to be honest, he's generally a thoughtful guy -- it's really hard to say what he's thinking now, given that I don't know what this troubling "situation" is. I'm definitely working at keeping my options open right now.

Anonymous said...

I think the camp guy sounds like your best bet. A guy from 20 years ago who is interested in looking you up holds real promise.


Dating Trooper - Dating is Warfare said...

Hi LV,
I have to admit my first instinct was similar to Mimi's about NG. But you are the one who knows him. I mean, it's nice that he didn't just disappear and gave you some "warning" that he will be going under the radar for a little bit, but be really careful. It sounds to me like another girl (perhaps a recent ex?) has resurfaced and he's trying to choose. Either way, you should in no way feel limited in your other exploits.

I just wish we could all find our own Obama! He's so dreamy....