Saturday, December 6, 2008

The course of a new relationship...

Still seeing a lot of Camper -- several times a week -- and sometimes it feels like too much, sometimes it feels just right. The course of true love (or in this case, early days of dating) never did run smooth, isn't that right? Just trying to keep a happy medium.

This has been a nice change from most other guys I've dated in the past few years: I never wonder if / when I'm going to hear from him again. I never have that feeling of, "maybe I should wait 24 hours before I write him back...". It's been pretty clear (from both sides) that we're both excited about this.

Last time, I wrote that New Guy was still on my mind -- thankfully, he's been making less and less of an appearance there these days. Here's the thing: it just happened that New Guy and I shared more interests than Camper and I do. In some ways, I felt (feel?) that NG and I were just more suited for each other... but of course, the big picture is: he's not emotionally available at this time (and who's to say he would ever be? And that he'd want to be with ME?).

[of course, it could also just be that curse of wanting the person you can't have -- arrgh, human nature sucks!]

I'm trying to come to grips with the fact that Camper and I have these different interests -- so far, it seems like we're both willing to embrace and learn about the other's differences, so as long as we can keep that going...? We DO have fabulous chemistry and have lots of fun together -- as long as that continues? Well, we'll see.

Sorry to have to be so vague! As always, fear of discovery, however unlikely, keeps me writing in this coy language.

Incidentally: New Guy and I had plans recently for a belated birthday drink (mine) -- however, a few days prior, I wrote to him to cancel. I was up front with him: I told him that if we're going to just be friends, I needed a bit more time and distance -- and it just didn't feel fair to Camper to have drinks with a recent ex.


A fair fairy said...

Here is my opinion about common interests: you can learn to like what he likes, he can learn to like what you like, but chemistry can NOT be learned and desire to build a relationship TOGETHER (= the right time) can not either...

Anonymous said...

To be perfectly honest, my husband and I do not have a lot of common interests, we have common values and backgrounds. I am sure there are many people who I am better suited to on paper. However, we have been married 10 yrs and are a great couple. My very close friends are happily married to similar guys w/ similar circumstances. Yes, we want to strangle them sometimes, but that is life... We love them, they are amazing husbands and fathers. jess

mimi of 'sexagenarian and the city' said...

very wise, your decision not to meet NG for a drink. i agree with the previous comments and if things continue going well in all other ways, it seems likely that you'll develop some interests in common. good luck w. this one.
- mimi