Thursday, January 29, 2009

Dates #120 and #121

Date #120: High School Guy. In the bizarro world of Facebook, it seems that anyone who ever crossed my path from the age of 5 through 35 is now a FB "friend". One of these is HS Guy -- we weren't at all close then, but were in overlapping circles.

A bit of convo via FB, and he quickly turns on the flattery: "how can you be single -- you seem like such a smart, amazing woman!". Met for dinner -- I quickly learn that he's a hyper-picky eater. While I'm (generally) a healthy eater, I like to let my hair down every so often when I eat out -- everything in moderation, right? Not HS Guy. No pork, nothing fried, no mushrooms ("because it's a fungus"), no cheese (??!). Yowza. I'm a foodie, and like to date guys with a healthy appreciation for food.

At the same time, this healthy lifestyle seems to have led to one hot bod on HS Guy (as evidenced by a shirtless pic on FB). On that first date, some smooching ensued.

Second date, some healthy sushi. I'm thinking, this isn't so bad...? More of our differences emerge. He voted for McCain (!). He's a fan of Fox News. Alas, I don't think I can even have a fun, casual fling with someone who has such a different outlook than I have. The second date was the last.

Date #121: Mr C -- C for "Coincidence". We met on J-Date, and quickly learned that we had many little things in common: he lives around the corner from me. We both lived in Country A and Country B, at different times. We work in the same field. His sister's best friend worked with my company in the past.

And yet -- all that is fine and good, but if there's no in-person spark? Doesn't mean much. Nice, smart guy, but wasn't exactly exuding positivity -- after the date, I found myself wondering if he even smiled once. I'd consider giving him another shot -- we've e-mailed since the date, but he hasn't responded to my last note, asking if he'd like to catch a movie. No big whoop.

New Guy remains in the picture, but just as a friend. I invited him to a dinner party where he met many of my friends for the first time - they adored him. I must admit, I'm still attracted to him -- but right now, we'll have to remain just friends.

** I need to amend that: chances are, we may NEVER be more than friends, and I have to accept that. As a friend pointed out: if he doesn't think I'm wonderful enough for a relationship now, how would that change, say, six months down the road?

Another friend might argue that it's all about timing, and well, timing changes. When I was immediately out of my last serious relationship a few years ago, the most wonderful guy in the world could have come along, but I wouldn't have been receptive because I just needed to be single at the time.

Anyway -- mentally, it's just easier for me to adopt the mindset that New Guy and I are just better off as friends. Period.


Life On Edge. said...

you know... that timing thing... as much as I hate the concept... it is so true... however, can you really wait for timing to change?

mimi of 'sexagenarian and the city' said...

lv, absolutely, yes indeed,there is No Point Whatsoever in going to bed (or even on a second date) with a McCain voter. Nuff said.

your feelings about New Guy remind me of mine about Plan C -- if there's still a bit of attraction, you find yourself wondering If, Maybe, How About It etc. it takes another person altogether to knock him out of your thoughts.

Tiny E said...

I completely agree with Mimi. I find it so hard to stop thinking about the possibilities with Guy A if there's no Guy B to occupy my brain. It seems like you have a lot going on though so that's good.

Did you get my email about the guy I thought you might have dated?

wineandthecity said...

Hi there, LV. I don't comment much but I've been reading you and DT faithfully for over a year now. And gosh, it is a universal truth that it is very hard to get over some guys (I'm talking about New Guy) Someday, someone will come along and sweep all of that away. Because someone always does, eventually! I know you are well on your way to good things happening in all areasof your life in 2009. Keep up the blog when you can, and I'll keep an eye out.
all the best

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