Sunday, January 18, 2009

On / off with Camper ... part 2

Just after the drunken dialing incident, I went out of town on business. Before I left, I told Camper that it might be good for us to have a bit of distance -- and asked him to follow my lead regarding communication. I needed to be pretty focused on work on this trip, and wouldn't have much time to dwell on "us".

I was pleasantly surprised that he actually followed my lead -- the whole week, we didn't talk on the phone once, and only had a few innocuous e-mails; talk about the weather, that sort of thing. I know -- not exactly a good sign, when you're happy to NOT be talking to your boyfriend!

We got together the night after my return, and started arguing almost immediately. He'd wanted to go to the place where we'd had our first date, and had celebrated our one-month anniversary, in an effort to "recapture the magic". I shot that down -- it felt heavy-handed to me. We went somewhere else for a bite.

A confession: the reason I didn't really blog while I was dating Camper was because, almost from the beginning, I felt like he wasn't really right for me. However, he WAS (is) cute, and adored me from the start, and it was somewhat refreshing to have Instant Boyfriend after so much dating disappointment.

But as the weeks went on, I felt our differences more and more. I was torn: even my therapist said, "you might not find another guy who is this crazy about you". And yet -- there was something (quite a few somethings) missing. A certain sophistication. Intellectual curiosity. If this makes me sound bitchy and elitist, so be it. I know what I want, and am unwilling to settle (at least, not for very long).

During that dinner, I had a confession for Camper -- coming up...

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