Just got back from a business trip – on my last night there, I had an epiphany.
I was faffing around on the internet, checking out what people were up to on Facebook – out of curiosity, I checked out Mr Recurring’s page. I check out his page every so often to see if he’s still engaged to soon-to-be Mrs Recurring. So far, it appears that that’s still the case, with the wedding just a few weeks away. Allegedly.
I think there’s a part of me that wants to see that they’ve broken up. Not because I want to be with him… maybe I’m just a little jealous of these two people who seem so ecstatic to have found each other, and I just crave that feeling so much. I don’t even realize I’m craving it until I go to his (then her) Facebook page, and see all the updates (the first get-together with mutual friends, talk of moving in together), the happy photos together, gazing into each other’s eyes (well, THAT one is a bit puke-worthy).
So, this epiphany: I realized that if I want to find someone who is totally crazy about me, maybe I shouldn’t be wasting time with guys who AREN’T crazy about me. My best friend D will be the first to remind me of this: any night I spend on a date with someone like Martin is a night I could be potentially be going out with someone with whom there’s a future. Rocket science, I know.
I’ve been on the fence regarding how much I like Martin, pondering how right he is for me. One factor that’s pushing him further into the “not right” column: he’s been rather inconsistent. Before we both left on our trips, he told me he’d miss me – and yet we only exchanged one brief, not-very-warm text while I was away. Actions much louder than words, see?
Just tonight, a week and a half after our last brief text exchange, he texted me to say “hi” – at 1:30 am. Really, dude?
Alas, I think he needs to be 86’d. I’m going to miss the good chemistry, but I think it’s more important to focus on someone who may have potential.
What timing – I just read this on Evan Mark Katz’s website:
What’s most important is not how a guy makes you feel on a date. Sure, it’s great when you’re tipsy and tingling with excitement in anticipation of his kiss. But that feeling is useless if he doesn’t make a consistent effort to see you.
Literally ALL that matters - if you want a healthy relationship - is how quickly he follows up to say, “When can I see you again?”
Thanks for the reminder, EMK.