Monday, June 1, 2009

Another one bites the dust.

I did it. After waffling all weekend, I finally called Martin and ended things. (he restored my faith that he wasn't a total dillhole when, the day after he texted me at 1:30 am, he called and left a proper message).

It wasn't easy -- we have a good connection, and great chemistry, and I was torn between doing what feels good right now, vs what I want in the long run. This doesn't happen often with me, but logic won. Maybe I'm finally becoming a grown-up?

During this warmer-than-expected talk, he reminded me that during an earlier talk we'd had months ago, he told me that he was not long out of a serious relationship, which was preceded by another long-term relationship -- and thus, wasn't in a place to be serious right now. Oh yes... that. I remembered that, kind of.

He said he understood where I was coming from, but hoped we could still stay friends, and "we'll see what happens" down the road. So that's that. I'm missing him a little, but am still confident that this is for the best.

I'm just really ready to meet someone already who is crazy about me, whom I'm crazy about as well. Sigh.

11 comments:

*Juliette* said...

Me too...
Sigh....

Anonymous said...

Allow me to quote you -

"Oh -- Martin also casually dropped in a phone conversation that he was recently out with a friend who happened to be a bit of a player, but by contrast, he's more of a relationship guy. Good to know."
May 5, 2009

Mixed messages, methinks. Very human of him, but nontheless confusing and irritating. Sorry it didn't work out. But good for you for being this brave!!!!!! Inspiring.

-Beth

Anonymous said...

So he's pulling out the ol' "not ready" line.

Since when does being recently out of two serious relationships mean he must avoid another one? Jeez!

It's fine if he doesn't want a serious relationship with you, but his reason should be that you aren't for him, not that he had two previous recent failures. He is saying that he doesn't want to add a third failure, which you would obviously be.

Good for you for dumping him. Otherwise you would have merely wasted more valuable time.

--JAC

Anonymous said...

Just in case I wasn't clear, I meant mixed messages on HIS part, not you.

-Beth

jgo said...

Me too.


But I think that is a good plan.

Tiny E said...

So hard to do especially when you're attracted to someone but now you have the time to focus on someone who can give you what you need and deserve. Well done.

mimi of 'sexagenarian and the city' said...

difficult as that decision was, at least it leaves you entirely unencumbered. now you have to be both actively searching and patient. not easy, as i know so well; but this is a good time of year for meeting someone. lots of luck to you.

Loverville said...

Juliette / JGO: it WILL happen for us! Just have to be patient. Which I'm not...

Beth: Indeed, mixed messages -- but I shouldn't have taken that as any interpretation that he may have wanted a relationship with ME.

JAC: who knows what the real reason was... he obviously just wasn't that into me.

E: trust me, it's a bummer knowing that I'm not going to be having any more fun times with him... but I'm not exactly distraught, which is telling.

And... having the "difficult talk" made me realize that I can't avoid another difficult talk I need to have, this one work-related. Just need to do it!

Mimi: it helps that I've started communication with a few new J-guys. Onward!

Anonymous said...

What about Mr Easygoing? Where's he at?

I must say I don't buy the crazy- about-each-other fairy tale myth that you may be lookng for. It almost always wears off and you become like best friends and with a strong love and affection. But more than that is just for the movies.....

Loverville said...

Anon: funny, you mention Mr Easy -- he has made a re-appearance lately. Update to come!

I don't think I'm looking for a perfect, fairy tale romance -- I know that doesn't exist -- but in the case of Martin, something just didn't feel right, in a way that's hard to put into words. Well -- that combined with the fact that he was pretty clear about not wanting a relationship at the moment!

If I'd felt that there was potential, I certainly would have tried.

a nutt said...

I agree that there may be no fairy-tale, but there needs to be a spark for sure. From my experiences, usually there is this little voice in your head or a gut feeling telling you that someone isn't the one for you. And even though you might not want to move on, you know ultimately you just have to. There will be someone who wows you and you will have no doubt about and you will know for certain when you meet him!