Sunday, July 26, 2009

Out with the new, in with the old.

Thanks to Dating Trooper for the suggestion -- McC is now Blaine. Love it -- finally, a name that fits! (though he is not an appliance)

Then again: this will most likely be his last blog appearance. After nearly a week of silence after our last date, I sent an innocuous email along the lines of, hey, are you going to that get-together our mutual friends are having? He responded in a not-exactly-warm fashion: not sure, I'm going to try.

I decided not to beat around the bush. Sent another email with my real question, noting that his previous interest had seemed to have morphed into silence, and that if he was no longer interested, he should feel free to say so. He wrote back thanking me for the opportunity to be honest (um, the opportunity was always there, dude...) -- I was the first girl he was really interested in since his last breakup a few months ago, but he needed more time off, and work is really busy, etc etc. Said he wanted to chat -- we've played phone tag since then, but I feel like I've already heard what he has to say. So that's that.

****

Blast from the past: Martin seems to be back.

If you recall, we dated rather casually a few months back -- I ended things because one, he had gotten somewhat flaky with communication, and two, because he said he wasn't in a mindset for a serious relationship.

Well -- he's been contacting me rather regularly since then (we had said we'd stay friends), and we wound up getting together a few days ago. That same chemistry is still there. I enjoy his company -- he's a fun, smart, affectionate guy.

My friend D, bless her heart, was very skeptical when I told her that he's back in the picture -- I wrote this to her:
To be honest, I see HIM as someone to have fun with right now, and don't really see us getting serious. Yes, I DO want something serious, when I find the right guy... but I think I can enjoy the attention of someone else (for now, him) in the meantime. I don't think the two are mutually exclusive. At least for the moment, he's fulfilling some need in me -- the need to be affectionate, the need to have fun with a cool guy, etc.

It's only been a few days since that most recent date, and maybe it's because my expectations are so low, but I've been pleasantly surprised so far. He's been calling and texting on a regular basis, making plans for this week and beyond. (eg, did I mind that he made a reservation for us for a fabulous restaurant that he's been wanting to try?)

So -- we'll see.

Friday, July 17, 2009

"The Dude" is now McCarthy.

"The Dude" just didn't feel like the right moniker for him -- it sounds slightly obnoxious (he's anything but), and evoked images of Jeff Bridges's stoner character in the film "The Big Lebowski". (great movie, by the way).

I was describing this new guy to a friend the other day, and mentioned that he looks a bit like Andrew McCarthy -- so his blog name is now McCarthy, or McC for short.

This is a big departure for me -- my general "type" is a guy who is on the short side, is Jewish-looking, with dark, curly hair. A friend once commented that I shop for my guys at the David / Steven Store (named after two exes of mine who perfectly embody this type. Not their real names).

If I'd come across McC on a dating site, would I have written to him? Maybe not. I'm delighted about the way we did actually meet -- naturally, in a "non-date" setting (at a weekend house out of town). I met a number of his friends that weekend as well, so it was nice to see him in that setting.

We had a break of a few weeks while I was out of town (with a few emails and texts exchanged during that time), and had our first reunion date this week. It was as fun and easy as I'd hoped it would be -- he wanted to plan a really nice date for us, and he did a great job of it.

From the little I know about him at this early stage, he seems like the kind of smart, fun, unconventional guy I've been hoping to meet. Trying to keep my excitement under wraps -- as usual, it's the old "wait and see" game. We have another date planned for this weekend.

I haven't yet decided if I should go out with SexyBoy again when he's back in town next week (that is, assuming he contacts me). That old dilemma of wanting to give one person a chance, vs not putting all your eggs in one basket -- I think I'll just cross that bridge when I get to it. (my, I'm just spouting out the clich├ęs today!)

PS. Update a few days later: I wrote the above while slightly tipsy from an afternoon drink with the fabulous Tiny E -- yes, she's as cool as she seems from her blog! Alas, work is about to get busier, so E, I won't be able to help you resurrect the three-martini-lunch. Yet.

Other update: had another date with McC. Maybe too soon to tell, but he didn't seem quite as warm as he did the last time. Eh, once again, wait and see -- but I'm feeling more level-headed than just a few days ago, and will be willing to go on dates with other guys if asked. (well, no one is asking just yet...)

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Back in town.

Just back in town after a lovely time away in a Somewhat Exotic Country. Barely thought about NY dating life while I was away... a refreshing change from my usual MO. And it didn't even occur to me to have a casual vacation fling -- it just wasn't that kind of trip.

Just before I left, I met two guys in "real life" circumstances (meaning, not through online dating). One could be a casual summer fling -- he's a few years younger than I am, and very sexy, but not someone I could really see as a long-term boyfriend. Let's call him SexyBoy.

The other, I think I'd want as more than just a fling. There's something about this guy -- he's quirky, cool, unconventional, cute, smart. I'm intrigued. We e-mailed a few times while I was away, and have a date planned for this week. (these guys are dates #133 and 134, respectively) I'm having trouble coming up with an appropriate blog name for him -- at least for now, "The Dude" feels right.

More to come -- I need to write about context. I wonder if there would have been a click if I'd met either of these guys online? In both cases, we have mutual friends -- that goes a long way.

Update on previous post: I seem to have once again filed away those feelings for New Guy. Maybe for good this time? We'll see.

George: after that really fun first date, never heard from him again. Only mildly surprising.