Saturday, August 8, 2009

Martin, Part Two

A few weeks (and a few more dates) in -- still enjoying Martin's company. It doesn't seem like the casual fling that I had envisioned -- go figure, I'm starting to like like the guy! And the feeling seems to be mutual. Over a lovely dinner this week, he told me that he was really happy to be at that place at that very moment... with me.

I still have my guard up, but at the moment, I'm just taking this day by day, and enjoying it.

This dilemma always seems to come up in the early days of dating someone: we're nowhere close to declaring exclusivity with each other, but it just doesn't feel right to date other guys at this time. This mainly comes from my ridiculous paranoia, imagining the awkwardness of being out with Some New Guy, and running into Martin (after having said goodbye to him maybe ten hours prior, that very morning). I know -- New York is a big city, and it's unlikely -- but not impossible.

Saying that -- I recently talked to a new J-guy, and while I'm not exactly wowed by him, I'm contemplating a drink with him this week. I've been trying to think of places to meet for a drink where I'm unlikely to run into Martin... but I'd rather not shlep up to the Upper East Side unless absolutely necessary.


mimi of 'sexagenarian and the city' said...

I know what you meant about New York: Funny Guy & I are avoiding certain places because we don't want to run into his ex-girlfriend.

But then -- there's this story -- that gives one pause --

"The Appointment in Samarra"
(as retold by W. Somerset Maugham [1933])
[The story is told by Death.]

There was a merchant in Bagdad who sent his servant to market to buy provisions and in a little while the servant came back, white and trembling, and said, Master, just now when I was in the marketplace I was jostled by a woman in the crowd and when I turned I saw it was Death that jostled me. She looked at me and made a threatening gesture. Now, lend me your horse, and I will ride away from this city and avoid my fate. I will go to Samarra and there Death will not find me.

The merchant lent him his horse, and the servant mounted it, and he dug his spurs in its flanks and as fast as the horse could gallop he went. Then the merchant went down to the marketplace and he saw me standing in the crowd and he came to me and said, Why did you make a threating getsture to my servant when you saw him this morning? That was not a threatening gesture, I said, it was only a start of surprise. I was astonished to see him in Bagdad, for I had an appointment with him tonight in Samarra.

Guy Friend said...

If you're not close to talking exclusivity, then why are you afraid to have drinks with another guy? Even in the unlikely case you run into Martin, it would probably just make him jealous and want you more.

Anonymous said...

I agree with GF-you think about exclusivity way too soon.

Loverville said...

Mimi: great story!

GF and Anon: Hm, you have a point. Will see if anyone else comes along who I'd actually want to date right now! (the other J-guy I mentioned had red flags all over him -- it was a classic case of "you never know... except when you do".

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