Thursday, August 13, 2009

Thanks for the blog material, Dillhole!

I last wrote that I was considering a date with a new J-guy (now known as "Dillhole", for reasons revealed below) -- we IM'd, then talked, then made a plan to get together a few days later.

I decided to cancel the day before. I wrote to him that I'd met someone new, and wanted to see where it would go -- this being only a small part of the real reason that I decided to cancel on him. He just didn't seem all that interesting, but being the tactful person that I am, I didn't feel the need to state that.

He, on the other hand? Not so tactful. His response:

No issue here - I wasn't going to come into the city to meet you anyway. As cool as the IM we exchanged was, as soon as we got on the phone the conversation felt dead. I have enough experience with JDate to know not to expend the effort to meet someone with whom any kind of initial connection is missing.

It's all part of the process. Best wishes on your quest to find a mate.

- Dillhole

Note: this was *after* he'd already made plans to meet me... so does this mean he was simply planning on standing me up? Don't know, and don't care at this point.


In other news -- things seem to be going nicely with Martin. I'm trying not to read into the fact that he just emailed me info on an event that's taking place in October with a note that read, "this looks like fun!". Nosirree, no thoughts along the lines of, "does this mean he still sees us dating then?" Nope, nothing of the sort. Just cool as a cucumber. More or less.

I have a business trip coming up -- will take a temperature when I'm back in town in a week.


mimi of 'sexagenarian and the city' said...

wow: he really is the absolute bottom of the shit pile.

Beth said...

That email seems like the equivalent of "I didn't like you anyway." It's a 'I'm saving my pride' email.

Geez, dating is so brutal sometimes.

Good luck with Martin! :)

Guy Friend said...

Dillhole sounds like a little beech...

Rachelle said...

WOW. Dillhole must have an extremely tender ego indeed! (Reminds me of a whacky guy I briefly dated who turned completely psycho, sending many insulting emails, when I very kindly let me know that we didn't have a future.)

mimi of 'sexagenarian and the city' said...

and oh yes, on the bright side, hoping that things continue going well w. martin!

Rachelle said...

(Forgive the typos, btw. Jeez!)

Anonymous said...

To be fair and objective, I don't think Dillhole's reply is as bad as everyone else thinks. He was stating a truth -- it really isn't worth it to expend the effort. You already picked up on that, so he was agreeing with you!

Sure, he didn't do it with much finesse, and he is the uninteresting one responsible for the "feeling dead" conversation, but I think his e-mail was him trying to save his ego.

The above all assumes he was going to inform you instead of just standing you up!


*Juliette* said...

Dillhole! Perfect name. He had no reason to be that rude, and in the online world, you need to be on your best behavior, since you could possibly meet up with someone at some point in the future. But if he has such a fragile ego that he needs to save it that way, well it's good that you see that now. Good luck with Martin. I hope it lasts well into Oct. and beyond.

Marc said...

That's why if I experience more dead air than conversation on a pre-blind date call, I don't schedule a date because it probably won't be any better in person. The "I didn't wanna come into the city anyway" line was unnecessary, but as a Jdate veteran and failure, I totally get the not wanting to expend the effort feeling, which you obviously do to.

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