I need to do something about Insta-BF soon. It seems like he's getting in deeper, while I'm sliding further away from him.
Time for a pros / cons list:
* He's sweet.
* He dotes upon me.
* He's reliable.
* When we have schedule conflicts, he tells me that he'll be the luckiest man in the world if he can take me out to dinner that week.
* We have pretty good chemistry, though I feel that it's starting to wane a bit on my end.
* We met in a "real life" situation, and have lots of mutual friends.
* Very open communication -- though maybe a little too open.
* He's unsettled -- he's in between jobs AND apartments right now. Currently crashing on a cousin's couch.
* He has a bit of an immature streak -- he has a tendency to mock other people. I've called him on this.
* other issues that I just can't go into here, of the "unsettled" nature. Just trust me on this.
* I'm going to sound elitist by saying this, but there's just a certain lack of sophistication. (and maybe I lack sophistication just by saying that -- so be it).
The other night, we were texting back and forth, trying to decide if we should meet at a mutual friend's party, or meet at my place and travel there together -- he mentioned that he wanted to come to my place first, because he wanted to talk.
Oh shit -- the talk! I was filled with dread -- really, were we going to have to do this right before going to a party together? Was he going to ask what I thought about "us"? I had a pit in my stomach for the next few hours until he arrived.
It turns out he was simply having some family issues, and just needed to vent to someone. Whew. But later, I realized that we really DO need to talk about "us", soon. I enjoy his company, but I'm not sure I see a future here -- meanwhile, he's already made references to birthday gifts he wants to buy for me, with my birthday being a few months away.
Ugh. I wondered about the feasibility of doing a gradual fade-away (don't initiate contact, take my time in replying, etc) -- but I think this situation will require A Talk after all. I have a very full week ahead with work and social engagements, so I'm considering having this talk over the phone. Face-to-face would be preferable, but I'm not sure we can get together before the weekend, and there's a chance we may both be going to our mutual friend's lake house over the weekend.
One of my social engagements this week is a date with Smooch. I'm excited to see him again -- our previous (first) date was over a month ago. His recent e-mails have been smart and funny, and I have a feeling our next date will follow along those lines.
Any advice regarding Insta-BF is most welcome. What would YOU do in this situation?