Thursday, October 15, 2009

It's surprising, but it's not.

Last time, I wrote that I'd had a wonderful date with Mr Cool. You know that feeling, when you're really "in the moment" with someone -- you find yourself thinking, wow, this could really be a good thing! This guy is fabulous! What could go wrong?

Which is why it's such a shock when that fabulous guy disappears. Even when you're used to dating in NY, and it happens all the time -- it's still a shock.

For a few days after the date, Mr Cool and I kept missing each other, leaving messages on each other's voicemails. I realized that medium of communication was proving difficult, so I last followed up with an email. Three days ago. That doesn't sound like a lot of time -- and check back with me in a week or so -- but I just have a feeling I'm not going to hear back from this guy. My gut usually tends to be spot on about these things.

Just to make sure -- maybe he didn't get my email?, as deluded people the world over ask themselves -- I tried one last ditch effort, and texted him this morning. Nothing.

Sure, I'm bummed. I also realize that you know nothing about a person after one date, and more likely, you're just subscribing to some fantasy of what you want this person to be. Saying that, I've been in a funk about this guy the past few days... but today I was thinking about the blog, and realized that posting about this would be my way of getting this out of my system. I'm feeling better already.

Is it some kind of karmic retribution that at the exact moment Mr Cool called for the last time, I was kissing another guy?

I mentioned the Young'Un once before -- we'd been emailing and IMing for months, but always seemed to have conflicting schedules. In one very candid conversation, we even established that we probably wouldn't be a match -- he wants kids, I most likely don't -- but there still seemed to be an attraction there.

Earlier this week, we were IMing, and it came up that we were both free that very evening. We met for a few glasses of wine. We kissed. We IMd the next day along the lines of, "that was fun, but we should just be friends". End of story. (he was date #141).

There's some early communication brewing with a few new J-guys, but no one I'm really excited about right now.

Oh -- pleasant surprise -- Smooch has been emailing from the foreign country where he's currently traveling for work, even including some pictures of his activities. Some flirtiness in the emails. Something to look forward to, his return in a few weeks.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Jim and Pam and dates #139 and #140

Did you catch Jim and Pam's wedding on "The Office" this week? I just watched it -- and I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I found myself bawling at the end. It was incredibly sweet -- and it hit home the fact that I really, really want to find that kind of love with someone. Yes, I know it's fictional. And yes, I know that no relationship is perfect. I'm just SO ready to meet someone amazing, and every so often, I just get tired of yet another failed date.

Whew -- with that rant over, let's recap the latest updates.

Date #139: Dr Foodie. Dr Foodie and I seemed to connect by email, then we had a very brief phone conversation -- he seemed a bit dry, but I was willing to take a shot. He was good-looking (in a clean-cut, boy-next-door way -- not my usual type), and the conversation flowed easily -- but there was just a certain warmth missing. When he said he had an early meeting and kissed me on the cheek goodnight, that pretty much sealed the deal that he wasn't interested. No big deal -- I would have gone on a second date with him, but wasn't exactly smitten.

Date #140: Mr Cool. While out with Mr Cool, I thought (for a second) about my date with Dr Foodie a few days earlier, and realized, "now THIS is what a great date feels like!".

Mr Cool was adorable, fun, funny, smart. And he seemed into me. We wandered all over the lower east side and the village, popping into one place for wine, then another for a bite. We eventually kissed. We walked some more. We flirted, we laughed. He texted me after we parted ways.

And -- he has texted a few times in the three days since that night, without making a suggestion of when we should see each other again. I'm trying really, really hard to leave this up to him, but I hate waiting.

I'm keeping in mind that despite a really fun night, and despite talks of next time, there's no guarantee that I'll see him again. That would be a bummer, but life would go on.

THIS sucks: even if I do see him again, sometime in the near future he's going to another country for a work project -- for a month.

Smooch update: the irony of Mr Cool telling me that he had this big international project coming up is that Smooch is also out of the country -- in his case, for three weeks. What's up with this?? Normally I'M the one leaving town!

As I mentioned last time, Smooch and I had a really fun second date. Then -- nothing for nearly a week, when he texted me that he'd been busy prepping for his trip, and he'd try to call me later. In the "Guys Are So Strange" department: Smooch called me one night, but didn't leave a message. I emailed him the next day, wishing him a good trip. He called the next night (when I happened to be out with Mr Cool) -- again, no message.

A very helpful reminder in this timely post by Moxie -- if he's not making much of an effort to get in contact, then he's not that interested. Period.

If he gets in touch when he's back in town, I'd be happy to see him again -- in the meantime, I'm not going to devote any mental energy towards him.

Friday, October 2, 2009

30 second update

Busy work day, so just a quick summary:

* I ended things with Insta-BF -- it was actually a rather easy, civilized conversation. He followed up with a very thoughtfully written email, saying he'd like for us to remain friends. I'd like that as well -- and I'm relieved that we had this talk.

* Had a second date with Smooch -- a really fun time -- good chemistry there. He texted me the next day that he'd had fun, and we should do it again soon.

Unfortunately, he's going on a long business trip next week -- for three weeks. I'm hoping to see him before he leaves, but am waiting for him to initiate those plans. Get cracking, dude!