Thursday, October 15, 2009

It's surprising, but it's not.

Last time, I wrote that I'd had a wonderful date with Mr Cool. You know that feeling, when you're really "in the moment" with someone -- you find yourself thinking, wow, this could really be a good thing! This guy is fabulous! What could go wrong?

Which is why it's such a shock when that fabulous guy disappears. Even when you're used to dating in NY, and it happens all the time -- it's still a shock.

For a few days after the date, Mr Cool and I kept missing each other, leaving messages on each other's voicemails. I realized that medium of communication was proving difficult, so I last followed up with an email. Three days ago. That doesn't sound like a lot of time -- and check back with me in a week or so -- but I just have a feeling I'm not going to hear back from this guy. My gut usually tends to be spot on about these things.

Just to make sure -- maybe he didn't get my email?, as deluded people the world over ask themselves -- I tried one last ditch effort, and texted him this morning. Nothing.

Sure, I'm bummed. I also realize that you know nothing about a person after one date, and more likely, you're just subscribing to some fantasy of what you want this person to be. Saying that, I've been in a funk about this guy the past few days... but today I was thinking about the blog, and realized that posting about this would be my way of getting this out of my system. I'm feeling better already.

Is it some kind of karmic retribution that at the exact moment Mr Cool called for the last time, I was kissing another guy?

I mentioned the Young'Un once before -- we'd been emailing and IMing for months, but always seemed to have conflicting schedules. In one very candid conversation, we even established that we probably wouldn't be a match -- he wants kids, I most likely don't -- but there still seemed to be an attraction there.

Earlier this week, we were IMing, and it came up that we were both free that very evening. We met for a few glasses of wine. We kissed. We IMd the next day along the lines of, "that was fun, but we should just be friends". End of story. (he was date #141).

There's some early communication brewing with a few new J-guys, but no one I'm really excited about right now.

Oh -- pleasant surprise -- Smooch has been emailing from the foreign country where he's currently traveling for work, even including some pictures of his activities. Some flirtiness in the emails. Something to look forward to, his return in a few weeks.


Guy Friend said...

Such a great post, LV. I am glad it feels good to write about Mr. Cool. It amazes me too when you feel like you're clicking with someone, then after only one date they either disappear or tell you otherwise. I guess i've been on both ends of this -- sometimes i know things won't work but i just try and enjoy the evening anyways, sort of like that song, "love the one you're with." Anyway nice job on the young'en, you go girl.

Linda said...

Hey LV- Blogging is definately one way to get rid of the funk, not to mention how much I look forward to your stories. I quit Jdate a few weeks ago. That was after I gave eHarmony a good try. I found both experiences to be zapping my energy and eroding my self esteem. So I just started a blog. I submitted my first post last night. That should help on the self esteem issues until I succumb to Match again, ugh for the 2nd time. Keep up the good work. Linda

Anonymous said...

Zapping your energy and eroding your self-esteem.

I found the exact same thing! I found e-dating to be counterproductive and exhausting. There was nothing good about it, only bad. The only possible good thing about it was that it was a "new experience" in a sociology class kind of way. It was an endless stream of guys I had zero interest in peppered with the occasional disappointment when there was a guy I actually liked.

I might say otherwise, that it was "all worth it," if I came away with a prize, but after meeting 400 or so guys, I didn't believe that would happen, even after 4,000 guys. My quality of life is much better not doing it anymore. I do understand the temptation however. Like a lottery ticket.

Anonymous said...

I don't like e-dating. The two guys I fell hard for on Match, if I had met them in real life I would NEVER gone out with either them. I would have 'cessed then as as players right away. But the edating messes with your head. Did me anyway.


datehater said...

I can completely relate to many of your posts. I even questioned whether or not anyone I had dated would be mentioned! Nice to know you're not alone!

Anonymous said...

I know how that feels and it sucks. Recently happened to me and I was shocked too. But I am not going to get bitter or upset about it....sometimes, things just don't work out between two people and I would rather not have my time wasted. Onwards and upwards.