Sunday, October 17, 2010

Hiatus

Just a quickie -- I'm working from home today, when I'd much rather be out enjoying this unseasonably beautiful day -- it's currently 67F and sunny!

Mainly here to announce that I think it's time for a hiatus from Loverville for a while. I'm hella-busy with work (about to go on a business trip tomorrow for two weeks) -- but also happy to announce that things are still lovely and easy and fun with Jon Hamm.

Next week will mark five months that we're together. He's going to meet some of my family at a bar mizvah in a few weeks... and I might join his family for Thanksgiving.

Sure, it's not perfect, but what is? Occasionally, I find myself wondering if it's *too* easy -- I've had a smattering of boyfriends in the past who posed more of a challenge. Often, in life, we tend to value the things we've had to fight for.

I've been trying to get out of this mindset. A relationship *shouldn't* be that much work. You shouldn't be kept wondering if this person cares about you.

Jon Hamm continues to tell me I'm gorgeous and amazing, and when I'm out of town, he's clear about the fact that he misses me. This is all good -- I feel the same about him. I last saw him an hour ago, and I'm already excited to see him again tonight -- though a little bittersweet, as this is our last night together for almost two weeks.

I might pop by here for occasional updates, and the odd milestone here and there -- but for now, I'll simply have to say: see you soon. Thanks for reading, and for continuously offering words of advice and support!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

The boyfriend.

Apologies for being MIA for so long. Work is hella-busy, AND I've started taking a language class twice a week after work -- it feels like one of those semesters in college where I took on an absurdly heavy courseload. (is that what it's called? I seem to have forgotten college lingo -- it's been a long time!)

I'm happy to report that things are REALLY good with Jon Hamm. I wrote early on that he simply felt like he "fits", and that's still the case... and more. It just feels so easy, that I have to remind myself that this is quite a rare thing for me, and shouldn't be taken for granted. It just seems to be happening so... naturally.

In past relationships, I've often found myself anxious, wondering and waiting when I can refer to the guy as my "boyfriend". With Jon, I didn't worry - I just felt that it would come in time.

A few weeks ago, we revealed that neither of us was dating anyone else -- I'd already sensed that that was the case, since we typically spend 2 - 3 nights a week together -- but it still felt nice to hear him acknowledge that.

Then -- just last weekend -- the BF / GF talk came up unexpectedly. Here's how it went down: earlier in the week, he was at my place when I got an invitation to an upcoming family event. He hinted that he could come along as my date -- I said I'd have to see if I could bring a guest.

A few days later, we were away for the weekend, surrounded by fun people, and feeling warm and fuzzy from the martinis we'd just started drinking. I suddenly remembered: I had talked to my mom that day, and she said I could indeed bring a guest to this event.

Jon asked something along the lines of, "how will you introduce me at this event?". We'd already joked in the past that he was my gentleman caller, and said as much. He said, "Or -- you could just call me your boyfriend.". I said, "well, in that case, would you like to call me your girlfriend?". He said he would.

It was an incredibly sweet, giddy-making moment, and we stepped outside to have a moment alone. We hugged and kissed and I was touched at how happy he seemed to arrive at this point in our relationship. We later had fabulous sex on the beach and went skinny-dipping, but let's gloss over those details, shall we?

Overall, all good. Very, very good indeed. I feel truly lucky to have met him. I'm a bit bummed that I'm going to be out of town for work for most of October, but I feel like we'll be just fine, regardless.

PS Last time, I wrote that I was getting serious about losing weight. Yeah... that hasn't happened yet. I'll work on getting back in that mindset. Soon. Meh.

Monday, August 16, 2010

"A little fat".

Holy cow. It is really time to get my act together, and get my (growing) ass back to Weight Watchers.

I gained some weight during a few delicious international trips earlier this year, and have yet to take it off. That, combined with the fact that I've been having a fun, decadent summer complete with food-and-wine-filled beach excursions hasn't helped. My weight is way up, and I'm not happy about it.

I'm 5'4" -- my "I can live with this" maximum weight is about 140. Lately, I've been hovering about 145 - 149. I keep meaning to lose the weight, but have just been lazy and unmotivated to do so. Until today.

Today, I was in my local grocery store, chatting with the older neighborhood Italian guy who sometimes hangs out there. I understand basic Italian, and mentioned the fact that the store was out of skim milk, so I was buying 1%. He mentioned that I was "un grasso poco" -- a little fat.

I was rendered speechless. It's one thing for ME to think I'm carrying a few extra pounds, but for someone else to mention it? Ouch.

[It only occurred to me just now that maybe he was referring to the milk as having just "a little fat", and not me. Regardless, I need to take action.]

It's high time for me to nip this in the bud, and do some healthy food shopping, start cooking more and eating out less (I have a pile of Cooking Light magazines and Weight Watcher cookbooks), and amp up the exercise. Going to Weight Watcher meetings helps to keep me in check -- I haven't been to any since earlier this year, and must start again. I really have to cut down on eating out of boredom, as well as excessive snacking.

I've mentioned my weight concerns to Jon Hamm -- he thinks I'm beautiful just the way I am, and feels that I don't need to lose an ounce. I absolutely appreciate this, but right now I'm not feeling comfortable in my own skin, and need to do something about it.

I've done this in the past, where I've lost 10 lbs in 10 weeks. I'm going to shoot for Sunday or Monday weigh-ins. Next Sunday, Aug 22, will be the end of week one, and so on. At this rate, I should be down 10 lbs by Halloween. I'd like to lose more than that, but that's a start right now.

Anyone else care to join in the challenge?

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

What does a relationship "look like"?

Evan Mark Katz seems to be a mindreader.

Every so often, I'll find myself mulling over some relationship-related thought, and BAM! An email on the topic shows up in my in-box. It's kind of kooky.

One recent one was titled All You Know Is That You Don't Know Anything. I can't find this on his blog, but the line that hit home for me was:

I questioned the relationship because it wasn't what I thought it was supposed to look like.


(he's referring to the early days of dating the woman who is now his wife)

This was how I'd been feeling about Jon Hamm. While he IS a fabulous guy, as I recently mentioned, a few things gave me pause: He makes less money than I do. He's a much hairier guy than I'm used to dating. When I show up on a date wearing a dress, he's typically in shorts and sneakers. (albeit, it's a neat, "preppy going sailing" kind of look, though he's neither a preppy nor a sailor)

And yet...the more I get to know him, the less these things are an issue. Again, it's too soon to know where this will go, but in the past two-plus months, he has consistently made me laugh, has helped me with home improvements and is always ready to give a foot massage when needed. He's thoughtful and smart and affectionate. The chemistry is fabulous.

And -- I find that I'm thinking about him more and more in between dates. Even missing him a little bit.

AND -- the craziest part of all this? I'm not stressing out about him, as I so often do in the early days of dating. It just feels easy. I never wonder when I'm going to hear from him. I haven't been worrying about how to label this, or wondering when I can call him my "boyfriend".

One more thing, perhaps the most telling -- I have no desire to smooch anyone else. Just tonight, I decided to take my Match profile down (I hadn't logged on in weeks anyway).

This is feeling really good.

Friday, July 23, 2010

30 second update

My friend Lucky Girl and I were emailing this morning, and I mentioned that I had fallen way behind on the blog -- she reminded me, you're still a Kissing Bandit. :)

The quick update is that, since that weekend three weeks ago, I haven't kissed any other guys besides Jon Hamm. We're still taking things slowly -- this is largely my doing, as I've been going out of town a lot, enjoying fun summer destinations.

Without making a big deal of it, one night last week I organized a bar night out and invited not only my close friends, but also Jon. Lucky Girl wrote this to me the next day:
I REALLY like Jon Hamm. He's got great eyes and a warm smile. He seems smart and has a good sense of humor and is engaging and seems crazy about you. At first impression he appears to be a really good guy. I'm glad you're feeling positive abut him again. He might be a keeper :-)

He IS an amazing guy -- but there's still something that's giving me pause. I can't really go into it now -- maybe at some point down the road. He's not a convicted felon, or a Republican, or anything like that.

Right now, I'm just taking things slowly, and trying to be patient. More to come!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Kissing bandit

I kissed two new guys last weekend.

I know - I recently mentioned that I wasn't planning to date new guys. This is still semi-true. And I'm not planning to *date* either of the guys I kissed -- I was away for the weekend, and each one was kind of a one-off.

[Note: this weekend location is one of those summer destinations where people tend to hook up left and right. I've been going here for a few years, and have kissed maybe three guys there in all that time -- which is nothing compared to the hooking up that most people engage in. If you're interested in details about this summer fun spot, write me at loverville@gmail.com ]

Friday's guy: eight years my junior. Cute, and funny, but not the kind of guy you'd swoon over. We kissed til about 4 am.

I saw him out the next night -- we chatted a bit, then went back to hanging out with our respective friends. I later saw him and his friend with two new women, and (foolishly) felt a little stab in the ego when I noted that "his" woman was quite a bit younger and thinner than I. Then I went back to having a blast with my friends, and decided that's what I'd rather be doing anyway.

He later walked me home, and we had a five-minute kiss goodnight... and I realized this was something that would never work in "real life". But it was fun while it lasted. (ha - all 5 hours of it...)

The next day, I decided that I wanted to kiss someone new, and identified the perfect candidate: a sweet, cute, but somewhat shy guy who didn't live in NY. Perfect! Let's call him Sunday Guy. By 1 am, we were bouncing on a trampoline while wearing togas, before laying back in said trampoline, gazing at the stars and smooching. A perfect summer night.

What of Jon Hamm, you ask? He's still in the picture -- though I must admit, at the moment I'm feeling summery and flirty and noncommittal. At the same time, I'm enjoying hanging out with him -- it's been once a week, on average -- perfect. He's still sweet and thoughtful and gives great foot rubs. No need to wonder where this is going right now -- there will be time for that, if this continues.

Ah, summer!

Friday, July 2, 2010

Jon Hamm: stop and go

After I last wrote, I went on a business trip for nearly a week. Jon Hamm and I had plans to get together upon my return, which he had to cancel because he wasn't feeling well. Plans made a few days later were canceled as well. In the meantime, I felt that his warm, sweet emails were tapering off.

I was disappointed, but tried not to dwell on it -- I knew that I simply had to wait until I saw him again to get an idea of his level of interest -- and I had to give him an extra dose of leeway because he hasn't been well lately.

In the meantime, I thought that maybe I'd start dating other guys again. He and I haven't discussed exclusivity -- it's way too soon -- but after our first date, I just wanted to get to know him more, and take a break from the dating merry-go-round.

On our next date -- nearly two weeks after we'd previously seen each other -- he greeted me with a big hug and a sexy, warm kiss hello. He still *seemed* interested -- but I felt a little off, perhaps a result of the longer-than-usual time between seeing each other. I just needed to get a feel for him all over again. That *off* feeling stayed with me most of the evening.

The next day, I had a busy day at work, which I'd anticipated, and had told him about the night before. That night, he called. Just to say "hi", and ask about my day. And, just like that, I felt that I got my groove back with him -- something about that call just made me feel warm and fuzzy.

His thoughtful emails have resumed -- they're not treacly, more of the vein of "here's that link to that thing we talked about the other night". There's an occasional "can't wait to see you again". Our last date was a few days ago -- a mellow night with a few drinks. And now, I'm about to go out of town for the holiday weekend -- we have plans to see each other early next week, if he's feeling up to it.

Some *good* news: it seems that he may have a diagnosis for this malady that's been giving him a lot of discomfort (and often pain) these past few weeks. Fingers crossed!

I mentioned that last week I was contemplating dating other guys -- I think I'm going to shelve that thought for now. One, I'm too busy with work right now... and two, I really like Jon Hamm, and it seems that he likes me as well. For what it's worth: I noticed that he hasn't logged onto the dating site in about 3 weeks. That doesn't necessarily mean anything, but still made me smile.

Ha -- in the meantime -- lately, there's been a pattern emerging of guys from my past popping up. Smiley sometimes texts, asking if I'm free for a drink -- it's always last minute, and never good timing. Hoffman (from about 4 months ago) recently got back in touch -- I told him I'm seeing someone. Smooch (with whom I had maybe 3 dates over a period of 4 months) recently got back in touch. Must be this warm weather!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Hair crush... and then, this

I may have mentioned here before -- I just love a guy with a full, thick head of hair -- that's just my "thing".

I was on the road for work this week, and one guy I was working with had just that kind of hair. I briefly crushed on... those lush, full follicles. He was a pretty good-looking guy, but it was the hair that got me. Anyway, I know better than to hit on a co-worker, and soon realized his personality wasn't really my type anyway. But oh... that hair.

I've also been swooning a bit over this guy -- I'm a new fan of GLEE, having watched all the episodes over the past few weeks.



Then there's Jon Hamm (not the "real" Jon Hamm, but the guy I've been out with about 7 or 8 times) -- he has what one might determine a "pretty good" head of hair for a 40-something guy -- but with him, it's more about the whole picture. He is cute, but more important, he's warm, sweet, smart, affectionate. AND he thinks I'm beautiful, and tells me so.

Taking a slightly serious turn here right now - I can't go into details, but he seems to be having a bit of a medical "thing" going on at the moment. It's not as dire as cancer (heaven forbid) -- but it's more than a simple headache.

He's in the process of having some tests done. He's had to cancel at least one date with me because he wasn't feeling up to it. I completely understand that he probably has bigger things on his mind right now than thinking about anything to do with "us" (is there even an "us" yet, this early? It's been nearly a month since our first date).

Anyway. I've told him that I'm here to help in any way possible -- and right now, if that simply means sending along good wishes and funny YouTube links as a distraction, then so be it. He shows his appreciation by telling me things like, "you're as sweet as you are lovely.". (awww!)

I still don't want to date anyone else. I still have a good feeling about him... and I just know, in my gut, that he's going to be okay. Soon, I hope.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

New design.

Like it? I'm not as tech-y as most other bloggers, with their cool custom designs. But when Blogger offered up a few easy peasy new designs on a platter, this one called to me.

Update on Jon Hamm to come soon... I'm getting a slightly weird vibe from him today for the first time, and I hope that either, one, I'm wrong -- or, two, it passes. Details to come.

UPDATE: newer design. Simple, black text on light background. Better?

And... thankfully, the "weird vibe" I thought I was getting from Jon has passed. We met for a drink last night, and he brought up the fact that he's stressed with work... but seemed to be his sweet, fun self again. I'm going to see him at some point this weekend before I go out of town for the week.

What started off as rather giddy for both of us seems to have mellowed into a more realistic (but still warm) vibe.

To answer a question in the recent comments -- no, we haven't slept with each other yet. But we'll see what the vibe is like by the time I'm back from my trip -- by then, it'll be about a month since our first date... so... we shall see.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

What's this "calm" I'm feeling??

I had another wonderful date with Jon Hamm this week, bringing us up to four dates so far. The usual fun time: lots of talking, laughing, eating, drinking, smooching. It's still feeling fun and easy. By the end of the date, we had plans in place to see each other again a few days later.

The next day, I found myself thinking about him -- in the interest of taking things slowly and following his lead, I had decided to let him make contact next. That afternoon, he called. Yes, called. An old-fashioned phone call -- so rare in this day and age of texts and emails. It was just a call to say "hi". So refreshing.

When I told my best friend D about this, her response was, "I can't remember the last time a guy called me!". Isn't it funny / sad that this is what our expectations are these days?

Overall, I'm feeling really good about this guy, while realizing it's too soon to know anything. I'm much calmer than I normally am in this kind of situation, and it just feels good to NOT be stressing over him. It helps that he's sending encouraging vibes my way in between dates, in the form of sweet (but not treacly) calls and texts.

Earlier this year, I had decided that my dating motto for the year was going to be:
RELAX, AND ENJOY THE RIDE.

And that's exactly what I'm doing with him.

In the meantime: remember Francois, the adorable Frenchie? We had two dates a few weeks ago, just before I went out of town. After that time, he was rather flaky about being in touch, so I wrote him off.

He got back in touch this week. We talked about getting together to go biking, but then the weather didn't cooperate, so we canceled.

The next day I got a surprise text from him: he was offering me four free tickets for the show he works for -- but it had to be for that night. (I'd rather not write the actual name of the show here, but think "circus" and "sun"). I wrangled a few friends, and off we went.

The show was enjoyable enough, and he gave us a backstage tour after. A part of me was hoping he'd be able to hang out for a drink, but he had a friend's going-away party that he had to go to. We made plans (once again) to go biking the next day -- plans that he called to cancel because of a work conflict. And he's leaving town in a few days, so that would have been our last chance to see each other.

While I found myself swooning after seeing him again, my friend C offered up the wise words that while Francois would have been just a fun boy toy, Jon is "real life". That works for me.

AND... I finally got around to emailing both Sparky and Austin Powers, stretching the truth somewhat by saying I'd reconnected with someone from my past, and would like to see where it might go. Gracious replies by each. I'm glad to have both those chapters closed -- both were very nice guys, but "the" feeling just wasn't there.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Getting off the dating carousel.

Since my first date with Jon last week, we had another wonderful evening together -- a picnic in the park -- plus a quick coffee just before I went out of town for the weekend.

It / he just feels... right. Way too soon to tell where this might go, but right now, I'm enjoying the ride. I'm very excited to get to know him better, and he seems equally giddy as well. Saying that -- while his emails and texts have been quite enthusiastic, I'm trying to keep mine a bit more subdued. If this continues, there will be time for that. Later.

I must say, he gives VERY good email! While I was away over the weekend, we exchanged a few emails and texts. He's funny, smart, sweet and flirty. Definitely made me excited about seeing him again -- we have plans later this week.

In the meantime, I've decided to get off the dating merry-go-round that I've been riding of late. This isn't to say that I've decided to date him exclusively... I just don't want to date anyone else right now. It feels really good to have more time to go out with my friends, or just more time alone.

I still have to officially cancel things with Sparky -- after five dates, I feel that I should do this via phone, which seems more courteous than email. Still, I keep postponing it -- I hate making this type of call, though I'm sure he won't exactly be heartbroken. Chances are, he won't even be surprised -- I canceled our date last week, and cut short the one prior to it.

I can't wait to see Jon again. Am trying not to think about him too much. Trying to stay distracted, and *not* continuously reread his emails and texts. Trying.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

A little bit giddy.

So -- last night's date. I wrote this about him a few weeks ago:

* I got an email the other day from a new guy on OK Cupid -- well, not so new. I *knew* he looked familiar, but couldn't place him. Let's call him Curly, due to his hair. I searched my dating Word docs from the past five years -- no mention of Curly in recent years. (I only started keeping notes on my dating life in 2005)

I wrote back to him, saying I just KNEW that we'd met before, but couldn't place him. He wrote back -- he'd figured it out -- an old friend of mine is his cousin, and we met while I was out with her one night about ten years ago. He said that we seemed to hit it off at the time, but we never went out again -- I was about to leave the country for a few weeks.


I have a new, improved blog name for him. Rather than Curly, I'd rather call him Jon -- he bears a slight resemblance to Jon Hamm, aka Don Draper. Especially that fabulous smile.

So -- Jon it is.

When "Jon" and I met for our date at a local wine bar, there was an immediate ease. This definitely wasn't my average anonymous online date, and I liked it. He admitted that I'd made quite an impression when we met that last time. We both found ourselves smiling quite a lot.

After drinks, we strolled around the neighborhood for what felt like hours. We smooched. We made plans for later in the week.

He emailed me today -- a very sweet followup. I emailed back. I smiled at my computer as I wrote to him.

And... I'm feeling a bit, well, superstitious, about writing too much about him just yet. I'm cautiously optimistic about him. The best way to describe this? He just feels like he "fits". Again, it's only been ONE date, but you know how it is. Sometimes you get that feeling, sometimes you don't.

It made me realize -- the two recent guys who I've been trying to make fit -- Sparky and Austin -- they just don't. It's only been two dates with Austin -- but I've now been out with Sparky five times, and I think it's time to finally acknowledge that the connection just isn't going to happen.

*******
Tonight I had a drink with Guy Friend, and I told him about my evening with Jon, and mentioned his last name. Crazy coincidence: turns out Guy Friend dated Jon's sister a few years ago -- actually, for a period of a few months. Another kooky example that, for a big city, New York can be a very small town indeed.

Ten years later...

Just got in from a truly fabulous first date -- with a guy I initially met ten years ago.

Details to come...

Saturday, May 22, 2010

NY, I've missed you!

I'm back in NY, and thus, back in DatingLand.

In the past few days:

* I had a fifth date with Sparky. A few weeks ago, I blogged:
I'm still on the fence about him... I like him, but there's something missing. A friend once said: I want someone who can run faster than I can (metaphorically speaking). And I don't think he's that guy.

And... I'm still not sure. I'm not getting the "zing", but I'm also wondering just how important that really is. I've decided that I don't need to decide anything right now -- as long as I continue to enjoy his company and still want to see him again, that's all I need to know.

This made me like him just a little bit more yesterday -- in his profile pics, he was clean shaven in some, and slightly bearded in the others. His current look is bearded, though he said he'll shave it all off about once a year. I mentioned that I was curious about seeing him clean shaven -- so he showed up that way on our last date. I thought that was very thoughtful.

* I had a first date with a dapper older gentleman -- let's call him Dapper Dan. (date #176) Dan and I began emailing while I was out of town -- oh, he was a charmer! He asked to meet up shortly after my return -- we set a date for the night after I got home.

Dan's profile stated that he was 46, but a quick search revealed that he was actually 52 -- generally outside my dating range, but he seemed fun and youthful, and thus worth a drink. As far as lying about his age, I decided that if it went beyond a first date, I'd bring it up.

Dan wanted to plan a special night for us: he picked me up in his expensive sporty car (his self-admitted midlife-crisis purchase), and took me to a pricey steakhouse. He looked very good for his age, and he quickly fessed up the truth about his real age -- and I confessed that I already knew.

We started with cocktails, and quickly moved onto wine. We had oysters, ribeyes, truffled creamed spinach, dessert. We began kissing an hour later. (the restaurant was quite dark, and we were at a back table) We talked quite openly about what we were both looking for. We kissed more in his car after he drove me home.

And the next morning, he emailed that while he'd had a lovely time, he just sensed that this just wasn't the "it" that we were both looking for. I would have been happy to try for a second date, but was fine to leave it at that. There was just *something* amiss that I can't quite put my finger on - maybe the age difference? Eh, at this point, it doesn't matter anyway.

* before I went out of town, I had a date with Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery. Actually, "Austin" doesn't seem all that mysterious so far -- but he was born in Europe, raised in Africa, and has been a New Yorker for the past ten years. So -- he's got the "international" part going. (he also has much better teeth than his film namesake)

I'm having trouble describing Austin -- during the first date, I sensed a sweetness, a certain naïvité -- but I could be way off. We had a brief kiss goodnight. We exchanged a few emails while I was away, and have plans again tomorrow.

Maybe I'm getting that impression of him because he lacks the edge that many native New Yorkers (and / or Americans) seem to possess...? Who knows. I'll get more of a read after our next date. I DO know that he's smart, seems funny and is definitely adorable.

* François, my little French crush. We exchanged a few emails while I was away -- he wrote, we definitely should get together when you're back in town. I suggested Monday or Tuesday. No response. C'est la vie.

He's only in New York for another two weeks or so... so really, who needs a fling with a very sexy... adorable... charming guy... who has ridiculous chemistry with me...? Um...

* Curly -- the guy from OKC who I originally met ten years ago through a friend -- and I have a date set for this week. It'll be nice to have a first date that isn't completely anonymous.

* I'm not considering going out with this guy, though he did make me laugh. From a 26-year-old: After a careful analysis of your profile, I came to a conclusion that you should go for younger men. You might as well -- we never mature anyway. ;)

So. A lot of options at the moment. Not enough time.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Um... come again? (so to speak)

I'm still out of town on business. A few days before I left, I started an email exchange with a new guy on OK Cupid -- let's call him Ron, as in Ron Jeremy.

"Ron's" emails were the usual at first -- some basics about him, questions for me, then wishes for a good trip, and he looked forward to seeing me when I got back.

Then this. WARNING: it's rather X-rated, so if you're at all sensitive to that sort of thing, click away now!

He wrote:

*******

A story for you...to read on the road, I suppose.

let's just say your pictures "inspired" me

...it's that unsure period between consciousness and dreaming, you press your naked backside to my front side. warm flesh nestled so perfectly together, i can hear your heavy breathing and yet my cock is slowly waking..your hand reaches back splitting us apart as you gently grab my swelling cock...your ass presses against me, rubbing, grinding, the rhythm arouses me to full consciousness

my hand drapes over your breasts seeking out your nipples with my expert fingertips...your eyes close as I pinch and tug...your lips part with a long sigh, it's the one thing you ache for, the intoxicating mixture of pleasure and pain pain I give you like a spoiled child, though at times the pain feels unbearable, you hiss and jerk your head grabbing the headboard, whimpering and begging for more

slowly my hand snakes its way to your hipbone and the flesh of your pussy, massaging you gently...you're so consumed with the thought of my fingers pushing inside you

I tease you relentlessly and want you to beg, so you whimper and grab my arm leading to your lust...a finger slides slowly into your wetness and pulls back to your hard clit and I rub until you begin panting and coming

"yesss" drips from my lips when you come hard

"fuck me..."

"fuck me," you plea

my body shifts upward, parts your legs and my cock gently begins to tease you ever so slightly...when I thrust inside you, you shudder at the relief of finally having your pussy properly filled, on my knees I drive into you and hold my place as your legs wrap around me to buck against my throbbing dick...I hit your insides just right, you flood my cock with your juices as they run onto me and soak the sheets beneath us

this all stops when when my seed spills deep inside you and you milk my cock, watching me jerk and moan as your siphon off every last drop

*******

Um -- really? Not only is it hella-cheesy, but dude, don't you at least want to buy me a drink first?

I'm not exactly sure how my pics "inspired" him. There's no nudity, and certainly no milking of cocks, in my pics.

I haven't written back yet. I'm not really interested in dating someone who thinks that this is the way to woo a woman, but I think a good comeback is in order. No pun intended.

Suggestions?

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Eyjafjallajökull sucks.

That damn Icelandic volcano is a thorn in my side. I have a flight tomorrow for a work trip, and that ash-hole just might disrupt my plans. Deep breath -- serenity now!

In the meantime, a few quick dating updates:

* I had three lunch dates last week. I've since decided that I hate lunch dates. I just don't like having my work day disrupted like that -- seemed like a good idea at the time. Anyway. Two were definite NO's, and one is a strong MAYBE.

* I've now had four dates with Sparky. I'm still on the fence about him... I like him, but there's something missing. A friend once said: I want someone who can run faster than I can (metaphorically speaking). And I don't think he's that guy. Anyway -- I don't need to decide anything right now - will see what it feels like when I'm back in town.

* Sigh! Then there's François...oooh, mon petit amour! Well -- not amour, but I don't know how to say "object of lust" in French. HELLA hot, tres sexy French guy -- we've had two dates so far -- BUT he's only working in NY temporarily, leaving in a few weeks. The kissing chemistry? Ohhh la la. The other day, after date number two, he wrote to me: next time, I will keep you for the night. Oui, s'il vous plaît! Alas, "next time" will have to wait about two weeks, after my trip...

* I got an email the other day from a new guy on OK Cupid -- well, not so new. I *knew* he looked familiar, but couldn't place him. Let's call him Curly, due to his hair. I searched my dating Word docs from the past five years -- no mention of Curly in recent years. (I only started keeping notes on my dating life in 2005)

I wrote back to him, saying I just KNEW that we'd met before, but couldn't place him. He wrote back -- he figured it out -- an old friend of mine is his cousin, and we met while I was out with her one night about ten years ago. He said that we seemed to hit it off at the time, but we never went out again -- I was about to leave the country for a few weeks.

IF my hazy memory is correct, I think I was distracted by a hot young Brazilian guy at the time, and maybe that's why I didn't go out with Curly again. Anyway - we have a nice email rapport now, so we'll see if there's a connection when I'm back in town in a few weeks.

Have a great next-two-weeks -- and wish me luck with this damn volcano!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Adventures in Speed Dating -- the Grand Finale

Sorry to keep you waiting ... it's been a busy week! Get ready for possibly my longest post ever...

In my last installment of Douchebaggery 101, my friend Rita and I discovered that a guy we'd met during speed dating was putting the moves on both of us -- hard. This was one smooth operator. For those who asked: OH yes, it was very clear at the event that he knew we were friends.

FRIDAY:
Once she told me the scoop of how their date went down, we both decided that neither of us wanted anything else to do with him. But we couldn't let him know that just yet -- it was time to play the player.

The morning after his date with Rita, Rico Suave emailed me to see if I was free for coffee that afternoon. I said yes, and also turned on the charm -- I started making suggestions for our upcoming date that weekend, suggesting a walk along the river, or we could even hang out at my place and watch a movie.

And -- well, whattaya know! -- I had to cancel our (supposed) coffee date about an hour beforehand because I had to go into a meeting. Sorry, dude. He said he understood, but was going to be in my area anyway, if I happened to be free before 6 pm. I later wrote back that our time window had closed, but we'd figure something out for Sunday.

I'm not a mean person by nature. I'm a believer (somewhat) in karmic retribution. So even though we knew that this guy was a smarmy liar, I didn't feel that I could go along with the "playing the player" game all that long.

Then Rita sent me the picture. During their date, they were chatting with a woman next to them at the bar, and this stranger asked to take a picture of Rita and Rico with her iPhone (Rita had no idea why the crazy lady wanted to do that, but she rolled with it). The woman then sent it to Rico, who sent it to Rita with a note:

the caption will read - [Rico] with beautiful woman on thursday night !! thanks once again for a lovely evening.

She and I both got a laugh out of that, and I decided the charade could go on a bit longer.

SATURDAY:
But by the next morning, I was ready to just be done with it. I thought about sending a dramatic email along the lines of: "I need to cancel tomorrow. You know why". But thought it better to just be straightforward. I wrote:

Rico,
Just had to let you know -- it was nice meeting you, but I've decided to pursue other options and need to cancel our plans for tomorrow night.

Take care and good luck.
LV


The whole day went by without a response from him. I figured, typical guy, silence is the answer, and was fine with it.

That night, I was on a first date with a new guy (details to come). At one point, I went to the restroom, and had a look at my phone. Within the prior two hours, Rico had sent three texts, left a voice message and sent an email.

Hm, is it inappropriate for me to reprint the email below...? Maybe. But in light of the situation, I think I have a free pass here, so there you go:

Hi
wow I went from your email below..to your last one..so much for doused expectations, I feel like I am missing something the switch was too big. Please let me know if I am wrong?

as i was running out the door to meet my friends tonight i looked at my bb and then read your email about pursuing other options. I felt like the rug was pulled under my feet i got so depressed I cancelled my plans and just came home.

its funny this whole week I was dating and I was thinking all I could think about was I would rather being seeing you - i just couldn't enjoy anyone else as much. don't get me wrong I had a good time but it was you I was looking forward to.

I was actually began to write an email to cancel Thurs date to tell her that i feel uncomfortable because I was interested in you then I stopped thinking that would be foolish. I only met you once, who knows what you really feel and even if we will see each other again, you might do a 360, and tell me you don't want to see me. and wow that's precisely what happened! Perhaps you met someone you liked allot better or an old flame or you heard something about me that probably is not true. I do dislike the not knowing what happened and just guessing.

I really would like to save this situation, can we talk about it, but only if you feel i might add value in your getting to know me as i would certainly like to get to know you. Best wishes. [Rico]


Keep in mind, this guy and I hung out ONCE before. For him to cancel his evening plans because I didn't want to see him again? That says much less about how awesome I am than it does about how unstable he must be. Then again, that could have been a lie as well.

SUNDAY:
The next day I wrote back that I'd try to call or email him later, but I had a busy day and didn't get around to it. He texted me that night that he was feeling really down, because he thought we'd had something. Ugh. I needed to nip this in the bud.

Meanwhile, he'd also texted Rita, asking her to call him, saying it was important. She texted back that she was at a family gathering, and couldn't call at that time.

MONDAY:
Neither of us heard from him the whole day -- whew! -- til finally late that night, Rita got this email from him (please note, typos are HIS, not mine!):

Rita, i feel like i have become persona non gratta with you and [Loverville]. Unfortunately im not sure why and I really would prefer not to guess because left up to my own devices I am thinking of several possibilities. Normally I wont ever ask a woman why she dosnt want to go out with me. It seems once a guy asks he is labeled as a looser or someone who cant handle rejection.

But this time seemed a little too weird for me, I thought both of you had a nice time with me ( although LV perhaps? was more) please tell me if was I so completely off base?. Specifically If you could let me know if I was too disrespectful to you (I thought maybe I was) or there was simply no chemistry? or something completely different ( i have 3 ideas). Youre letting me know would really be so helpful to me for the future. thankfully certain major events have changed in my life this month so i really would so much like to start a committed relationship with someone and I don't want to make the same mistakes again that i must of done with the both of you. So please Rita i really would appreciate your input. Be as blunt as possible - if you think i was a jerk let me know. If you think i lied tell me. If you feel uncomfortable -please don't - you would be helping me. I want to improve my ways otherwise I will be left constantly making the same mistakes as before and getting hurt again. All the best and looking forward to hearing from you. Rico


As Rita added to me:
Um...How can he be so obtuse? The answer is right in front of your face, dude. YOU AND LV!!! He so doesn't get that he's not supposed to aggressively court TWO friends at once! On the same night even, via text and phone!!!


After some discussion, Rita and I decided that we'd let her take the reins and try to open this guy's eyes a bit. She wrote:

Rico, the reason LV and I have remained silent is that we're no longer interested in being in contact. So our worry is that if we explain things to you (or if I do, as proxy), then you will get back in touch with us, try to explain your side of the story, or even just try to apologize. And the truth is that we don't want to hear that. Actions have spoken loudly enough for us.

So if you would like to agree not to contact LV or me again--not even in response to whatever explanation I offer--then I will be willing to explain.

-Rita


He replied:
thank you for responding to my email. I am totally freaked out it sounds so ominous what could I of done to warrant becoming such a complete anathema that you are both worried that I may contact you ? Are you okay? So Let me say in advance I am so terribly sorry if I was physically or verbally abusive to either of you I honestly don't think I was but if am wrong I truly truly apologize. that's the only thing I can imagine would cause such strong negative feelings from anyone. so if you can please be clear about what I did it sounds terrible and as I have no choice I will not justify what I have done? Actions speak louder then words ?



She replied to him:

Rico, you don't need to consider my email ominous. No, there was no abuse, but you did act dishonestly and made some very poor decisions considering what your feelings may have been. Let's start with what you knew the night you met LV and me: We're good friends. Good friends talk, especially about guys. But when I "matched" with you, all I knew was that that night, you met us both-- LV is a more outgoing person, and I am more reserved, and so as far as I knew, you two had a chat. But you knew (and I would learn) that in fact you and LV had been kissing and forming some kind of connection after I left. AND you told her that although you were impressed by her friends, you would select only her as your "Match." I let LV know that you had lied when you said that. You obviously chose me as a match as well.

And then Thursday, on the same night, you're telling LV you'll call her at 10, telling me we'll meet at around 9:30 (although we know it was later--one assumes you were probably on another date!), trying to kiss me goodnight at 2:15, then texting LV a couple dozen minutes later that you can't wait to see her. I mean, come on Rico, that's super tacky! If you were so into LV, you should have never agreed to meet with me--or even asked for my number. But to talk to me about how you hate multiple dating and only want one girl, then to tell LV all your other dates were nothing compared to her, basically, Rico, whatever comes out of your mouth we won't believe.

Did you really think LV would think it's cool that after kissing her you're asking for her friend's number? Or I'd be excited that after you're texting what a nice time you had with me, you're immediately texting LV that you really want to see her? Really, that doesn't come to mind at all? And then add in that you lied to LV directly about matching with her friends? Ew, Rico.

So because we don't trust your words, and because we'd really just rather move on, we hope you'll accept this explanation and move on as well.


(Nicely said, huh? She has a way with words!)

Twenty minutes later, he replied:
Totally deserved. points well taken. it is to my complete loss that I did not end up with LV in a relationship and you Rita as a good friend. I really mean it. Thank you for the a lesson well learned I truly apreciate it. I needed to hear it and took it to heart. I am only responding to thank you both I will not bother you again. Best of luck in finding great guys for great women.


End of story. Whew! We were both relieved to have that book firmly shut. An entire Greek drama over the course of a week!

A part of me feels bad for him -- not bad enough to attempt to date him (nooosireee, Bob!). But I couldn't help but wonder how someone maintains that level of cluelessness about other human beings.

Other dating updates to follow soon. Preview: I've met a hot French guy. Two dates so far. The kissing chemistry is off the charts. The bad news? He's only going to be in NY for a few more weeks -- and I'm going to be out of town for ten days during that time. Argh.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Adventures in Speed Dating, part III

When Rita told me that Rico had asked for her number, my immediate (naive) thought was, she probably told him she's a big Yankee fan, and maybe he is as well, and they're going to talk baseball! Because of COURSE he wouldn't think of macking on my friend... would he?

I wrote back to her:
Of course -- let's just feel it out. True -- you are more reserved, and gave no indication whatsoever that you might have liked him!

... but at that moment I didn't have time to give her all the details. I had a busy day of work, and it wasn't until much later that day that I got around to emailing Rita the details of the post-speeddating drinks and smooching with Rico.

Her bombshell:
I didn't realize until just now that he was kissing you all night, but he DID call a little while ago -- and he asked if I could hang out tonight.

She was due to meet him within the hour.

On one hand -- we did both meet him at speed dating, which pretty much makes anyone fair game. On the other hand: he KNEW she was my friend. And she and I now knew that he had lied to me about not choosing any other women from the event.

By this point, we were both pretty amused that this guy could be so clueless. I encouraged her to still meet him, but to be sure to report the details. Interestingly, just before all this went down, he called me. I was just finishing work, and asked if I could call him back 20 minutes later -- he said he'd be busy from about 8:30 - 10 pm, but he'd love to talk after that time.

I later found out from Rita that she wasn't due to meet him until about 9:30, which meant that he was likely seeing her after his previous date. Classy. (Ok, true, I did that once... guilty as charged!)

Meanwhile, I had decided that I was still going to play along -- I texted him around the time we were due to talk, and said I was still busy with work, but I'd call him within the hour. He texted back that he couldn't believe I was still at work, but he'd love to talk whenever I was free. And yes, he texted this while he was still on the date with Rita.

He later texted me at 2 am: I love the way you make me feel. Seriously. Ew.

Later that night, Rita texted me:
He's a fascinating guy. A troubled guy. And a two-faced guy. He probably believes both faces. I think we can give him a verdict of smarmy. But neither of us would have known that if not for the other. He comes on strong, and seems sincere.


The next day, she gave me the full scoop:

"Well, ten minutes before he texted you at 2 am, he texted me about what a good time he had. And he had tried to kiss me goodnight--three times, while his arms were around my waist. He got a tap kiss, very chaste. But man, trying three times! Let me tell you, he says all the right things. All the right things, that is, if you can trust him. Which one obviously can not. If I were able to trust the things he'd said last night, I'm sure I would have let him kiss me -- but it felt totally wrong for a whole mess of reasons, including you!

First of all, a major topic of his conversation--I shit you not--was how much he hates "multiple dating." How he just wants to date one girl and have that one girl date just him. But of course that's so hard in the city, so he HAS to date multiple women, even though it's not what he wants. Meanwhile, he's telling me I'm perfect. I'd make the perfect companion at all the events he has to go to. He name dropped -- so-and-so is a client, etc. And I was saying all the WRONG things--I was thinking, I don't care, let's see what happens. So I was like--oh, this is not really first date conversation, but one of the reasons I multiple date is that I really want a family and a husband and a kid, and it seems in my best interest not to put all my proverbial eggs in one basket. And he's like, Wow, that's so honest, you're perfect.

And yes, you are exactly right--this is more than a reminder, it's EVIDENCE how careful we must be with the guys who come on strong. This one is off the wall! Man, it's almost a psychological/sociological exercise I'm glad we went through just so we KNOW what can happen! Everything out of his mouth was, oh, I want this to be a good date for you, I'm so glad we did this, I was like an eager puppy when you called me back, etc.

So I don't want to see him again because he's TOTALLY untrustworthy. But I texted him back that I had a nice time too. Like you, I'm just curious to see what happens."



But wait... there's more! To be continued...

Friday, April 30, 2010

Adventures in Speed Dating, II

I wasn’t very impressed with the selection of guys. There was the Low Talker, the Sloucher, the Chubby Kosher Guy.

Then there was Rico Suave – he didn’t exactly come off as a smooth operator, but we immediately hit it off. Funny, a little goofy, vivacious. He said I was a breath of fresh air. The six minutes flew by, and after our “date” it was time for a fifteen-minute break. He bought me a drink, we ate mini burgers together and simply enjoyed each other’s company until it was time to return to “date” the others.

The rest of the dates were duds compared to the colorful Rico. After the event ended, a few of us wound up back in the bar area, until he and I gradually found our own corner. My friends left one by one. He asked if I’d like to get another drink elsewhere – I said I’d be delighted. Or something a little less corny than that.

I don’t spend that much time in that part of the city, so when we walked past the Plaza Hotel fountain, I said we had to stop to admire it for a minute. He then confessed that he'd wanted to kiss me back in the bar – I said this would actually be a much better place for that. He remarked that it was a lovely, cinematic moment, and we kissed.

We went to a nearby bar for another drink. Earlier we’d started with wine, and had moved onto Manhattans. Hm, this could be dangerous. We talked, we smooched, we flirted. And before we knew it, it was 1:30 am, and definitely time to go home.

He insisted – he had to know when he could see me again. How about next Monday? A restaurant he really liked had a special event going on -- once he’d learned that I was a bit of a foodie, he knew instantly that he had to take me there. Nice – I like a man with some good city knowledge in his back pocket.

He texted me as soon as he got home, and for the next two days we exchanged texts, emails and (in his case) a phone message. He said he’d been thinking about me. He didn’t want to wait until Monday to see me.

At some point during the post speed-dating “date”, he mentioned that he thought my friends were really cool, and maybe he could set them up with some of his friends. He also volunteered the information that he was planning on choosing only me via the online matching system of the speed dating organizers. Aw, nice.

This morning, my friend Rita emailed me (we hadn’t spoken since the event):

We probably should have anticipated that there'd be ONE great guy at that speed dating thing, and we'd all want to at least see if it's a "match." I could see you liked Rico -- knowing my personality is more reserved I'm not sure if you could tell I liked him too.

Just wanted to let you know he asked if he could call me, and I gave him my number. Of course that could lead to nothing, as it usually does, or friendship or whatever, but I wouldn't want to keep that info from you. Not sure what we should do going forward--want to feel it out and see how it goes?


TO BE CONTINUED...

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Adventures in Speed Dating

My friend "Rita" and I had been talking about doing a speed dating event for ages - she had never been, and was encouraged when I had three matches at a recent event (never mind that none of those guys have remained in the picture...).

We set the date. She asked if she could invite another mutual friend, Stella. Sure. A few days later -- pure coincidence -- I found out that another friend, Mary, had signed up. And when I found out that Lucky Girl had never done one of these milestones-in-NY-dating? Well -- come along! The more the merrier!

There are some pros and some cons to doing a speed dating event with a gaggle of friends.

Pros: you can rehash over the lame dates afterwards.

Cons: you might like the same guy. And he might like both of you. Or all of you.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Sunday, April 25, 2010

My name is Loverville, and I'm a dateaholic (and date #167)


As I learned a few weeks ago: three dates in one day was overkill. I won't be doing that again anytime soon.

However: I'm already finding myself a bit overwhelmed with scheduling dates for this week. Here's what happened: a few weeks ago, I found that things seemed to be drying up on Match. Then the very fabulous Lucky Girl mentioned that she was on OK Cupid -- last time I tried that site, about two years ago, I didn't have much luck. Kooky guys wearing top hats and 21-year-olds living in mom's basement in Ronkonkoma just didn't appeal to me. I know, I'm so picky.

But it seems that the site - and the guys - have grown up a bit. The site is free, so what did I have to lose? I signed up, and started "favorite"-ing a few cute, interesting guys.

The first few guys I wrote to never wrote back. I wrote to a few more. In the meantime, I had some correspondence with a few more Match guys. Started talking about planning drinks.

Then -- I wouldn't exactly call it an avalanche, but thus began a small landslide of guys writing to me. Many of them seemed smart, interesting, cute -- they seemed more appropriate for me than the "maybe" guys I had already agreed to go out with, but it didn't feel right to cancel on those other guys.

So -- I'm currently looking at five dates planned for this week -- some of those will be lunch or coffee dates. I *do* realize that any of those could fall through at any given moment. In addition, there may be more dates added to the roster, but I'm going to try to avoid that.

I've come to realize something about myself: I think I like the planning and anticipation as much as the actual dates. (and sometimes more, if it turns out to be a lame date). I like that giddy feeling when I get a well-written, funny email from a new guy.

I know for sure that if one of these guys really pushed my buttons, I'd certainly be happy to give up the shopping. But for now? Well, a girl has to make the most of a situation, yes?

Why not put some of these off, you might ask? Actually -- for a few, I am. But for others, I worry that if I postpone them too long, they might lose interest. You know, strike while the iron is hot, and all that.

UPDATES:

Date #167. "Neo" (seen above) was the first of my afternoon, mid-week coffee dates. I've decided that this is a great idea for those guys I'm not quite sure about -- this way, I don't lose an entire evening to a bad date. And if it turns out to be a decent date, I'd be happy to make date number two a proper grown-up date, as in, after dark and boozy.

Neo looked just like Keanu here -- dark hair, dark glasses (which was fitting -- it was sunny outside). Interesting guy. Some commonalities. A minus: he seemed to talk quite a lot, without always gauging my level of interest. Worth another shot, though.

He has emailed me since about getting together -- I just have to see where I can squeeze him in.

I've also had a second date with Sparky -- he planned a fun, thoughtful evening for us. I realized over a drink just how nice it was to have that dose of familiarity. Spent a fun few hours with him. Again, I'm still not really feeling fireworks, but I like him enough to see him again, which is all I need to know right now.

However: the best night of the week may have been with the fabulous Red (in town from the Left Coast) and her posse, along with Lucky Girl. A grand old time was had by all! See LG's hilarious writeup for all the lurid details.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Dates #165 & 166

I'm still a bit tipsy from tonight's date, so for the moment, I'm just going to throw this out there and see what sticks. Note: it just took about six attempts to spell the word "moment" correctly. Blame it on the wine.

Earlier this week: date #165. I'm blanking on a descriptive name for him, so let's just call him 165 for now. Good enough conversation. He's likable. A bit of smooching at the end. He asked me to get together this weekend, and I said yes.

There were no crazy fireworks the way there were on that first date with Bond (formerly known as BEST FIRST DATE EVER) -- but maybe that's okay? Maybe it's better to start with a small spark, rather than explosive pyrotechnics? We'll see.

It just hit me: he will now be known as Sparky.

Tonight's date, #166. Let's call him Tom -- I'll explain why in a moment. Tom and I started writing a week or so ago, and immediately had this fabulous online connection. We were intrigued by one another, and wanted to uncover every stone, but because of our schedules, we wouldn't be able to meet til tonight, Wednesday.

No problem -- the anticipation was fun. I just counted: in the course of a week, he sent me about 60-something emails, and I probably replied back each time. One day, we IMd for about two hours. At the same time, we were realistic in realizing that though we might like each other on paper, the in-person chemistry would either be there... or it wouldn't. And if it wasn't, we sensed we'd remain friends anyway.

Today was the day. I got my first email from him at 8 am -- he seemed as excited as I was. I even went out and bought a new dress, a very hot red wrap thing. As I walked to the wine bar to meet him, I realized I was nervous -- I couldn't remember the last time I was nervous about a date.

Long story short: we spent three hours talking, drinking, eating. We told stories, jokes, anecdotes. At times, I found myself wondering: how do you *know* when the chemistry is there? The fact that I was asking myself that meant that it was clearly lacking. I'm sure he felt the same way -- and that's fine.

Why the blog name Tom? He happens to look like my friend Shmutti's friend Tom, is all. "Her" Tom happens to be bald, gay and very dapper - I don't think my guy tonight was gay, but he certainly was dapper.

I DID have one really fabulous date this week: I met some of my favorite fellow bloggers, and had a blast! I met Lucky Girl (who already felt like an old buddy, as we'd been emailing quite a bit), Simone of Sex, Lies & Dating, KB in NYC, and Celeste of the Big Girl Blog. They all rock, big time -- smart, fun, vivacious. Ladies, if you're reading this -- great to meet you all, and hope to do it again soon!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Farewell to Bond.

In the most recent comments, a few people thought that I wrote off Bond too soon, and didn't give him enough of a chance. I replied:

Trust me, I liked Bond a LOT, and was very hopeful about him. I don't think I articulated the timeline about him very clearly here -- I didn't want to write him off at all, but felt that I had to once I sensed that he was distancing himself (while I stayed hopeful, in the back of my mind).

He pretty much went from "we have a great connection" and "I see something here" ... to radio silence. How else could I react, but to write him off? When you know, you know.

Turns out my gut was right - I got some "closure" this week. Details to come!


I was serious about this guy from the get-go. I got that very rare feeling on the first date that this could be someone really special.

And -- confession time -- I was so excited that I took down my Match profile after our first date. THAT'S how much I was willing to focus on him and only him. Premature? Probably. It's not like I told him I was taking down my profile. If he freaked out about it, I could always say that since I was going out of the country, I felt no need to have it up. Or something like that.

Incidentally, he was the one, on our very first date, who suggested a timeline of one month: if things were still great after that time, he'd love for us to date exclusively and take down our profiles. I said we should simply play things by ear. I know, I know, beware of these rush hour guys -- but sometimes it's hard NOT to get swept up in the moment by this guy who seems crazy about you, n'est-ce pas? Live and learn. Again.

So -- as I've already written, we had a lovely second date, after which he started to pull away. He later wrote that he felt guilty for seeing other women -- I told him that at this early stage, there was no expectation for either of us *not* to date other people. And even though he didn't suggest getting together, I thought I'd put it out there, and asked if he was free Sunday or Monday.

Then - once again -- nothing.

Another week or so went by of total silence, which, of course, speaks volumes. I was annoyed that he couldn't take a second to just email or text back to acknowledge that I had asked him to get together -- but of course, there's the answer. He's just not interested. Someone who is interested will want to know when they're going to see you again.

The friends who knew about the situation from the start -- the near-daily emails and texts -- were surprised to hear that he had just up and disappeared. Not only did this guy want to see where I grew up, and couldn't wait to learn all about me... he stressed how much he values honesty and good communication, blah blah blah. Textbook case, huh?

We've all seen this guy before. The Urban Dater just wrote about this exact topic. It could have been addressed to Bond.

I felt annoyance and disgust welling up in me -- as much as I wanted to just write him off, I was having a hard time. I just needed to get this (and him) out of my system.

So I wrote to him, not expecting a reply - but it felt good just to get it out. I wrote that I "got" it that no answer IS sometimes the answer... but that I respect a guy so much more when he simply tells me that he's not interested. That it was a bit of a surprise to have him go from being very obviously interested, to dead silence.

And -- shocker -- he wrote back a few hours later. He apologized for the lack of communication, and said it was for a few reasons. Work has been particularly busy for him lately (I might as well tell you: he's an airline pilot, though he doesn't have his own regular route -- he has a hell of a schedule at times). He also mentioned that he's "out there" and dating -- I read this as, "I can squeeze other women in my schedule, but not necessarily you".

Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe I should still give him a shot -- lots of guys are really busy with work, and are presumably squeezing in other dates when they can. But something just doesn't feel right about this. Maybe if we had started off slow and steady, it might have been different. Maybe my ego is just slightly bruised -- he went from being very obviously into me, to... not so much.

Anyway. I wrote back, telling him that his response was appreciated, and that I wished him the best. If I hear from him in the future? I'll decide at that time what to do. For now, I feel that I have that rare "closure" thing we so often wish for, but rarely get.

Whew! This post is long enough. Next time I'll write about my new OK Cupid profile. I've never been hit on by so many 22-year-olds. I've also received not one, but two offers of a threesome. Thanks, but... no.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Bond Who? - Or – I Am Officially A Dating Machine

Three dates in one day. Sounded like a fun idea at first...

Date #1: Mr Nice Guy, #162
Nice was a setup by my friend D – actually, I think she may have met him through a setup, wasn’t attracted to him, but thought he might be good for me. She insisted that he’s a great, standup guy.

We had lunch, because neither of our schedules would allow otherwise. And I DID think that he was a sweet, cool, well-mannered guy. I’d like to see him again, but his schedule seems to have him traveling a lot in the coming weeks. So – we’ll see.

Date #2: Adorable Hipster Boy, #163
(he’s 28. I have ten (ish) years on him)
I met Hipster when he came to visit a co-worker in my office last week. Co-worker was showing him around, and when he came by my office, Hipster saw a book on my shelf on a topic that he had some expertise in. I said we should discuss this further. He added me as a Facebook friend later that day, and the email convos flowed easily. I soon said we should discuss this over a drink, and we soon had a plan.

Or did we? We’d decided on a day and time, but not a place. The ball was in his court – I had emailed him last, a day earlier, saying that 5 pm on Friday worked for me, and did he have any place in mind?

By late afternoon Friday, I still hadn’t heard from him, and was convinced the date was a wash, which was fine. Thus my surprise when he called – he apologized for not calling earlier (busy busy, yadda yadda) – he was having drinks at the Soho House with a friend, and would I like to join them there? Why yes – yes I would. And proceeded to tear apart my closet in search of an appropriate outfit.

I hit it off with Hipster’s friend, a fabulous gay guy – we all work in the same industry, and it turns out that Friend and I knew some people in common. Friend left after a while, and while Hipster seemed to enjoy talking to me, I wasn’t getting “the vibe” from him.

I finally said I had to get going, as I was meeting “a friend” (actually, date #3, which I was regretting having set at this point – I was really enjoying being with Hipster). We left Soho House and at one point peered into a dark, closed store – and had one of the hottest makeout sessions I’ve ever had.

Why was it so hot? Maybe because we were hiding in a dark doorway. Maybe because he’s this adorable young thing. Maybe because it felt sneaky – he’s my co-worker’s friend. He asked if I could meet my friend a bit later – I said it was too late, as she’d already be on her way to meet me.

He walked me home (I wanted to change before meeting my friend), and we kissed more outside my doorway. He wanted to come in for “just a minute”. I said, maybe another time. When I said goodnight, he said something like, “well, I’ll talk to you”. I won’t be surprised if I don’t. And that’s okay.

Date #3: Speed Dater, #164
I met Speed at (you got it) a speed dating event a few weeks ago. Very cute, very interesting guy – but by this point, my dating energy was gone. And I was sleepy from the two glasses of red wine I’d had at the Soho House. Poor guy – I yawned half the time we were together. He seemed to have a good sense of humor about it – when he walked me home, he said he hoped we could spend another night yawning together soon.

I’m on the fence about Speed, but it could have been a case of bad timing – but if he calls, I’d see him again.

Quick Bond update… is that there really is no update. He wrote that nice email the other day. I wrote back. And nothing since. I’m definitely thinking about him less and less (yesterday’s dating marathon helped). I’m about 99% ready to write him off. It’s just what my gut is telling me to do. Life goes on.

*******

And – I nearly forgot – I recycled a past date the other night. As in, three years past. I may have a new summer fling. Details to come!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Backtrack -- date #2 with Bond:

Before he disappeared, then resurfaced, I had this wonderful second date with Bond -- I wrote this account a day or two later, then got too busy to post it:

We made plans to meet up at my place first, then we’d decide where to go out for a bite or a drink. As soon as he walked through the door, we had a passionate, long, deep, close kiss. Rather, kisses. There had been a lot of buildup in the two weeks since we'd seen each other, through almost-daily emails. After a few minutes of this, we both laughed and said we should cool down a bit.

I gave him a tour of my place – he admired it, and said he could definitely tell that a woman lived here. It’s not especially girly, just neat and tidy.

We sat on my couch to talk about my trip, and I showed him pics on my laptop. With the monsoon rains outside, we decided to just hang out at my place – neither of us were hungry. We laughed about our previous date, when we smooched shamelessly in public in the corner of a (mostly empty) bar.

We kissed, we talked, we looked at pictures, we kissed some more. His hand began to wander up my skirt and I told him it was too soon. We had a very frank discussion about sex, and about the importance of waiting – as he put it, “let’s see if there’s something here first”.

Ever since that electric first kiss on that first date, I’ve been thinking about what sex would be like with him – only thinking about it, mind you. When I like a guy, there’s definitely extra incentive to hold off on doing the deed.

Lucky Girl wrote this very eloquent post on the virtues of waiting to sleep with someone – LG, seriously, thank you – you put together the words that had been swimming around my head, but couldn’t come together in a cohesive manner, especially this part:

Sex can be an important part of falling in love with someone, but it can also be a pair of blinders. I’ve learned that having sex before I really know a person confuses me. It clouds my judgment, makes me feel love that has no foundation.


So – we’ll see. At this point, my goal is to try to wait til at least date 4 or 5 – not that we’ll be “in love” yet (far from it), but we’ll hopefully have more of a vibe about each other.

I wish I had a videotape of this last date – as it is, I’ve been replaying moments of it in my head, like when he told me he wanted to visit my old neighborhood with me. When he asked genuine questions about my family, my job, my life. I also wouldn’t mind seeing some video of those sexy kisses.

He left after 2 am.

Staying optimistically cautious.

********
So... after that, he disappeared, then emailed me that he was feeling guilty about dating other women. I wrote back that I never assumed I'd be exclusive with someone after only two dates.

Update: he then wrote back with a thank you, and he appreciated my positive attitude. He's out of town for a few days for work, but he hoped I was enjoying the beautiful NY weather. He did NOT suggest scheduling another date.

So -- I do hope I'll see him again, but I'm more cautious than optimistic at the moment. Several other dates lined up in the near future, some new guys, some guys from the past -- stay tuned for info!

********
Speaking of guys from the past: I went to a baseball game with Martin last night. Although "dating" in the conventional sense didn't work for us in the past, I do enjoy his company as a friend. With occasional benefits. Ahem -- you could say there were several home runs last night. And this morning.

I do want a boyfriend. But with this gorgeous weather, spring / summer flings are also sounding good to me right now...

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

30 second update

My friend Shmutti told me that my "fans" (awww!) are waiting with bated breath to find out what happened with Bond -- I know I should continue to build suspense, and I'll write more details later, but here's the condensed update:

* date #2: wonderful. Great connection. I'm really digging this guy, and it seems he feels the same.

* the following days: his emails have gone from warm and sweet, to short and perfunctory. I have a momentary freakout (not on him, of course -- just venting to any friend who will listen). I blame it on the jetlag.

* a week after the second date, he writes to apologize for distancing himself -- he wanted to admit that he was still dating other women, and felt like a jerk for it, because he thinks I'm really cool.

* I'm like -- whoa, dude needs some dating lessons. Sure, we had a great connection -- but not enough to ever assume that that made us exclusive (you know what they say about assuming...). I write back saying we just need to chill, and while I appreciate his honesty, he should know that I haven't stopped dating others either.

* So -- I haven't exactly been "dating" others (I haven't had time -- was just on a brief roadtrip with my best friend the past few days) -- I'm "in talks" with new guys.

* AND -- something about spring -- so many of my past guys are coming out of the woodwork! Smiley and I exchanged a few texts and emails this weekend ... Smooch (we had 3 dates in the fall) wants to make me dinner... and Martin just texted about getting together soon.

* AND -- when I was in a funk over Bond a few days ago, I found the perfect distraction: this adorable, smart, 28-year-old guy, a friend of a co-worker's. He's new to the city. There have been talks of getting a drink soon.

* About two years ago, I had two dates with a new guy (will have to dig up his blog name). I liked him enough, but he emailed that he didn't feel the connection he was looking for. Fair enough. Fast forward to a few days ago: he wrote to me on Match (I think we first met on Jdate) -- he likes my profile, my energy, my interests. He clearly doesn't recognize me. I'm thinking of "not recognizing" him either.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I'm back!

I’m back – and very happy that I’ve returned to a spring-like NYC, with trees blossoming all over the place! (Ok, there are monsoon rains outside right now, but it's better than dealing with temperatures in the upper 90s, which is what I've been sweltering through the past two weeks!)

I’m also happy to report that while I was away in that very hot Other Country, Bond and I communicated nearly every day via email or text – we considered trying to talk via Skype, but with the time difference, it was tough (not to mention that I’d want to look my best if I was going to be video chatting with him – and I generally look like death at 7 am, which would have been the best time to talk).

Several times, we exchanged pics of how we were spending our days – I especially liked when he sent me a video of him biking in the park on one of those beautiful, sunny days that NYC has been enjoying lately. Our emails didn’t have an especially romantic tone – I thought that was a good thing, since we’d only had one date. Romanticism would have seemed premature – but I thought it was telling that he kept in touch, and even told me that he appreciated the fact that I was able to email him regularly, given my busy work schedule.

I received a "welcome home" text from him the second I landed -- I'm still smiling about that!

We made plans for the evening of my return – I knew there was a good chance I’d be jetlagged, but was willing to take the chance…

(to be continued)

Monday, March 15, 2010

Best. First. Date. EVER!



I'm serious -- I write that with no sarcasm whatsoever. I really am smitten with this guy. (#161) I'm giddy and smiling and speechless -- it's a surreal feeling!

I'm at a loss for a blog name for him, so for now he'll simply be Bond -- James Bond. He IS kind of an international man of mystery -- and yet, he comes from humble NYC beginnings, just like me. His life has spanned many countries, and several careers that melded from one to the next.

Seriously, when he first told me about the very interesting life he's had, there was a part of me that was skeptical -- until I Googled him, and found the proof right there on the interweb. Good stuff indeed -- I really wish I could share it with you!

And even more important -- he's warm, and (from what I learned from a five-hour date and several phone convos) very communicative. He's straightforward. He's incredibly polite. And -- this doesn't hurt -- he's very, very easy on the eyes. To be blunt, he's hot. BUT I get the impression that he's the rare person who doesn't realize just how good-looking he is. Did I mention that he's a fabulous kisser? Icing on the cake.

AND he seems equally smitten by me, and by the end of the date he was telling me that he was excited to see where this could go. Really -- everything was perfect.

Except...

Except for the fact that I'm about to go on a business trip to another country for two fricking weeks!

Argh. This has happened to me a few times in the past, where I'd meet someone just before going out of town -- and a few times, by the time I'd return, the guy would be history for whatever reason.

So -- wish me luck. Bond said he looks forward to staying in touch, and we'll get together as soon as possible after my return. Sigh.

*******

And what of Hoffman, you ask? Despite the fact that he "couldn't wait" to see me again, I barely heard from him all week. We had a date planned for Saturday -- that morning he emailed and texted that he was under the weather, and had to cancel. He asked when I was going out of town, but didn't ask if I wanted to get together before then.

I admitted to myself then - I had been on the fence about him. If he'd seemed interested, I would have tried to come along for the ride. But since he's obviously not? No problem at all. I'd even contemplate setting him up with a friend (Shmutti, you reading?).

*******
In other news -- I went speed dating with a friend this weekend. I'm hoping to convince her to write a guest post -- stand by!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Blog fodder on a silver platter!

I talked to new Jdate guy last night -- let's call him Mr Sensitive for reasons that will soon become apparent. (I know, I know -- I claim to be on dating hiatus. I guess I'm taking a hiatus from that hiatus!)

We made a plan for Sunday night. I don't know why I agreed to go out with him -- I got a weird vibe about him. He only had one blurry pic on his profile, and was realllly reluctant to give me his real email address. When I'd ask him a question, he just seemed a bit scattered.

Today I decided to cancel, and wrote a very nice email:
My apologies -- I'm going to have to reschedule -- my mom is arranging a family dinner for Sunday night, and I really should go. I'm then leaving town on Tuesday for two weeks for work -- can we reschedule after I get back?

Sorry for any inconvenience!


True -- the thing about the family dinner was a little white lie, but I saw no harm in that.

He emailed back (verbatim):
We cannot, but an hour tomorrow is ok... Otherwise things get Too non-immediate and lose their flavor

Huh? Flavor....? And who said anything about tomorrow?

Before I had a chance to respond, he texted me (again, verbatim -- I can't make this shit up!):
Incredibly poor form (and clearly not my type person) to cancel a date via text. I rescind all date offers. Thank u.

For the record, I canceled via email, not text -- and I think that's absolutely acceptable -- especially when it's FOUR DAYS before said "date". Dude, I didn't cancel our WEDDING via email / text, for Christmas sakes!

I wrote back, being sweetly diplomatic:
Was just about to write back -- I agree. We're just not a match. However, thank you for the excellent blog material.

There you have it. On a silver platter, with a doily and some decorative flowers thrown in.

UPDATE: the next morning, he wrote back:
I couldnt be happier that we arent a match, as by definition, i'm a match for class, grace and beauty. Blog away!

I was tempted to write back to tell him to grow some balls, but by this point, we were like two kids on the playground, yelling, "YOU're stupid!"... "No, YOU're stupid!". Sometimes the best answer is just NO answer. I shall take the high road, and be done with it.

Unless of course, you have a fabulously witty retort -- comment away!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Still (kind of) on that dating hiatus...

I wasn't ready to admit this the last time I wrote (as I was still grappling with it): at the end of my second date with Hoffman, he came back to my place. The connection was REALLY good, and he was completely respectful when I told him that we really shouldn't sleep together -- til I finally said, "oh, fuck it!". And so we did.

My issues with him having a few pounds? I didn't seem too bothered by it in the moment. We talked about having him spend the night, but I didn't think it was a good idea -- I had to be up early the next day, and I never sleep well when I spend the night with a new guy. So he left, and sent me a very sweet text when he got home.

During our next date a few days later, we had a very candid talk -- the sex was fun, but it was too soon. We continued to have a fabulous, intimate night -- dinner, followed by fun live music in the east village, followed by separate taxis home. We had talked about getting together again over the weekend (ie, this past weekend), but he had a friend coming to visit from out of town, and wasn't sure what they were doing yet. He emailed the next day to confirm as much -- the weekend wouldn't work, but he'd contact me early in the week to make plans.

Over the weekend, he sent a very sweet text -- I had sent him a link to something I'd written (something work-related), and he wanted to let me know how much he'd enjoyed it, adding "you don't cease to amaze me!". Very thoughtful. This meant a lot to me -- there have been times in the past when I've wanted to share some of my work with guys I've dated, and when I'd ask if they'd read it, I'd often hear a sheepish, "Not yet -- I've been soooo busy...". I got it.

By today, I still hadn't heard from him in terms of making plans -- with most other guys, I would have sat back and waited to hear from them, but with Hoffman? I can't explain it, I just feel a certain level of comfort with him. So I emailed him info on a new bar / lounge I'd read about, adding, "we should check this out!". He wrote back suggesting this weekend, and that he "couldn't wait". Nice.

I DO look forward to seeing him again, but am too overwhelmed with work at the moment to really think much about him or any other guys. I'm leaving for a business trip next week that's going to keep me out of town for nearly two weeks, so dating isn't very high on my priority list right now. Just fine by me.

*******

And now: the Awkward Moment That Wasn't.

My friends (let's call them Mr and Ms Cool) were having an Oscar party -- these are the same people who threw the party where I met Mr 2010, aka The Invisible Man (after he, well, disappeared). This would be my first party at their place since his Great Disappearing Act of 2010 -- I saw that he was on the invite list.

I wanted to have backup troops with me, but none of my close friends could make it. I then had a brilliant idea: why not invite Smiley, the guy I dated in December? He knows Mr and Ms Cool as well -- I'd brought him to a few of their parties while we were dating. And oh yes -- there might be that added little jab to Mr 2010. When I told a friend, she said, "I LOVE bringing a guy to a party where an "ex" of some sort will be!". I felt the same way.

Saying that, Smiley and I ARE still just friends, at least in theory. Since we last slept together a month or so ago, he has texted me for a last-minute movie or drink, but I've been unable to make it. Not because I didn't want to see him, but (as anyone who knows me can attest) -- I'm a major planner. It's generally very hard for me to do last-minute stuff. If I'm at home after work in my sweats on the rare night I don't have plans to go out, and someone calls me for a spur of the moment drink? It's NOT easy to get me out of those sweats and into makeup.

But I digress.

I was nervous about seeing Mr 2010 at the party, even with Smiley there with me, and tried to inwardly rehearse how I'd talk to him - I thought cordial-but-cold was best. Turns out the only Oscar-worthy performances were on the TV, as he never showed. I was relieved.

I must admit -- it felt pretty nice to sit next to Smiley on the couch, as we gradually sat closer and closer, and his arm went around my shoulder, eventually playing with my hair, while his other hand caressed mine. He walked me home, and there was some sexy smooching. If things don't work out with Hoffman, I may have to consider some future sexytime with Smiley.

Hm, what's that, you say? Oh, you mean about my recent blog post about not sleeping with a guy again until we're in what may lead to a serious relationship? Well - spring is in the air, yada yada yada... I'm hopeful about Hoffman, but it's always good to have a Plan B.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Please kill me now.

... is what I found myself thinking just now on the phone, as I tried to figure out a polite way to extricate myself from the conversation with Mr Yawnzers, a new Match guy. Why I agreed to talk on the phone is beyond me, after this morning's email, where he photoshopped a picture of me, so I appeared to be next to him in his profile picture. The name of the attached pic was [Mr Yawnzers] + [Loverville]. Hot, right?

I've decided: I'm (mostly) taking a break from dating for the next few weeks -- it's just getting too agonizing. I'm burned out. Done. Last night I had a second date with a new guy -- let's call him Joe, as in Average Joe (date #160). The small talk / chit-chat became unbearable. The sad thing is: when I got home and looked at the new guys who were waiting in my in-box, "Joe" was looking pretty good.

In the past, even if I had a less-than-stellar first phone conversation with a guy, I'd still give him the benefit of the doubt, and would usually meet him because "you never know" -- not these days. The other day, I had such a conversation: the highlight may have been when we discussed the distance between certain towns in New Jersey. I managed to avoid making plans when I said I left my calendar in the office -- if he follows up, I'll just tell the truth and let him know that I didn't sense a connection.

*******
Then there's Hoffman -- when we met up for our date this weekend, I was already writing the blog in my head: he's not as big as I seemed to recall!

We had a really nice time -- he's incredibly open and honest and hella-interesting -- there seemed to be good chemistry (kissing on the street just after we left the restaurant). And yet -- a part of me is still on the fence. One of those things you just can't explain. We have another date planned for this week - I just need more time to assess what I'm thinking / feeling about him.

I do realize -- all these boring guys I'm complaining about - the thing they have in common is ME. Could I be the boring one? Perhaps. Could it just be that I'm sick of one "interview" after the next? Definitely. My best friend D, a news reporter, put it this way: It's like me covering too many murders, it makes each one impact me less.

So. It's time for a big exhale, and some "me" time. No new dates for a while - I'm on hiatus. I'll still see what happens with Hoffman. Then there's a guy who's a setup by a friend. He's had my number for a few days now -- maybe he'll call, maybe not. IF he calls (and if I don't want to slit my wrists after 15 minutes on the phone with him), I'll go out with him. But no other new, anonymous guys for a while -- not for a few weeks.

**********

Oh! How could I forget to share this winner with you? Two weeks ago, just after Valentine's Day, I got a text from a guy I'd just sent my number to: it was a photo of a bunch of stuffed animals on a bed (his?), with the words: Happy Valentine's Day, from my family to yours.

I was so gobsmacked, I just didn't know how to respond.

Friday, February 26, 2010

The Big Plush Button

If you lived in Manhattan in the mid to late 90s, you may recall an Upper West Side coffee shop called Drip. This was before there was a Starbucks on every corner, so this type of place was quite unique: you could linger over your coffee for hours, just like on Friends! (what's the font for sarcasm?)

There was an added draw: a free dating service. You'd fill out a questionnaire, they'd stick it in a book, and if someone perusing the book liked what they read about you, Drip would put you in touch (and you'd ostensibly give Drip even more business by having your first Drip date there). Unfortunately, there were no pics involved, so you had to decide if you wanted to meet someone based on their words alone -- which sounds so archaic now!

This guy requested a date with me, and something I read in his profile gave me pause: he wrote, "I'm as cute as a button -- a big, plush button". Being the eternal optimist that I am (or just a sucker for a good story), I still decided to meet him.

And he was right -- he was a big, plush button. He was a large, round fella, quite a few pounds overweight. Not really my type. There was no second date, but the expression "a big plush button" has become part of my vernacular with my best friend D to this day.

Fast-forward to February 2010. Date #159. I knew from his pics that he had a few extra pounds, but he was still rather good-looking and seemed exceptionally interesting: had traveled all over the world, had a job that he loved, and other positive stuff.

We hit it off. Drinks led to dinner, which led to kisses in the street, which led to plans for this weekend even before the date was over. He thinks I'm smart and gorgeous, and tells me so. His email to confirm our weekend date was appropriately enthusiastic.

He's not exactly a "big plush button" -- but yes, he does have a little extra around the middle, more than I'm used to. A bit like this guy, which is why I'm now blog-naming him Hoffman.

I'm certainly no twig (and oy -- not doing well in the weight-loss department, but more on that later) -- but I'm trying to wrap my head around Mr Teddy Bear Man's girth. Um, maybe just get past date two first, and take it from there? Thanks for the advice, self.

*********

Since I last wrote, I've had two more dates with Einstein. I can't figure him out: he's fun and funny one minute, and a bit strange and pedantic the next. On our second date, we wound up at his place for a bit of kissing and more drinking. He wanted me to stay over (note: we were fully clothed the whole time) -- it just felt too soon. I left his place at 2:50 am, a bit tipsy and tired.

It was only when I was already in the taxi on my way home that it occurred to me: he didn't walk me downstairs to said taxi, and he really should have. He did offer a half-hearted, "you'll be OK?", and my automatic response was simply to say yes. I decided that wasn't a deal-breaker, but a lesson to myself: ask for what you want, especially when it comes to personal safety at 2:50 am.

Date #3 with Einstein: easy-flowing conversation over drinks, then a bite, then back to my place. More smooching, this time shirts were removed. I had to work early the next morning, so at about 11 pm, I started to mention that we really should start to wrap things up...

You would have thought I'd put a gun to the guy's head. He leapt up, quickly put his shirt on and within a minute was at the door, fiddling with the locks -- I half-joked about at least giving me a kiss goodnight. He did, but seconds later was out the door, with a terse "bye".

I mentioned this to Best Friend D, and her feeling was: "when someone wants me to go, I'd be out the door quickly too!". But something about this just didn't feel right.

Overall, something about HIM just didn't feel right, and this was magnified on my first date with Hoffman days later. THIS was a sweet, warm, not-strange-seeming guy. You know how meeting someone new can show you what was wrong with the last one? Yeah -- that.

*********
Anyone else have Drip date stories? Let's hear them!