Saturday, January 30, 2010

Sunday weigh-in, re-Match, and Mr 2010 is OUT

Today is the end of Week One of our "lose 10 lbs in 10 weeks" challenge -- how did everyone do??

I'm happy to report that I'm down exactly one pound -- this morning's weigh-in was 143, yay! It would have been better - I started off the week eating like a wee little sparrow, and ended with several dinners out where I stuffed myself silly. But as long as I'm heading in the right direction, I'll take it. Next week will be even better.


And yes, I've got a few boy updates!

Mr 2010:
The short version is that he called (after I previously wrote him off), and we have plans for tomorrow.

The long version: yes, he called -- but after I called him first and left a message. I know, I should have waited for him to get back to me after he last texted me (a week before) that he was crazed with work. Anyway. I decided to be proactive / impatient.

When we talked, I felt like an awkward teenager, nervously chattering away to fill in the pauses. He apologized for having been out of touch (due to work), and asked immediately if I was free this weekend. He said he'd come up with a fun plan for us, and would touch base before then.

I have a tendency to not let my dates do much of the planning -- I keep a running list of bars and restaurants I want to try, or favorites I like to return to - but I've been trying to change this about myself. So tomorrow -- no suggestions will be coming from me. It's in his hands.

However, I'm not 100% convinced this date will actually happen tomorrow. Watch this space for an update about 24 hours from now! Or even earlier if it's 7 pm Sunday, and I've not yet heard from him -- this time, I am ABSOLUTELY waiting for him to contact me to confirm the evening.

Dog Man:
Named for his adorable canine companion, not because of his looks -- he's good-looking in a nice-Jewish-guy-from-NY way, which is my usual "type".

The funny story is, Dog Man and I first started communicating a looong time ago on Jdate -- maybe two or three years ago? -- but for whatever reason, we never met. We even became Facebook friends. At one point, I even tried to set him up with a friend (it never happened -- he was seeing someone at the time).

I recently re-joined Match (more on that in a minute), and came across his profile -- I immediately wondered, why did we never meet up? He's smart, cute, interesting, well-traveled -- just like me! :)

I wrote to him -- he wrote back -- we exchanged numbers, and had that first conversation today. Not a second of awkwardness -- it was a fun, easy conversation. A half-hour later, we had plans in place for this week. It's not every day that you go into a first date feeling predisposed to liking someone. I even feel like I want to talk to him again before then, but I'm going to just chill and sit on my hands til I hear from him again.

I wrote the last time that I probably shouldn't see him for a while. Looks like he feels the same way, because I haven't heard a peep from him since we last saw each other last weekend. Just as well. I'm not at all angry at him, and I don't miss him (the way I did when we first ended things). I guess I was just ready for that door to be closed.

I gave in. A few weeks of abstaining from online dating, and I was ready to dive in again. In the past I've done Jdate, Nerve, Plenty of (stinky) Fish, Ok Cupid (ack)... as well as Match. It had been a few years since I'd been on Match, and I was ready to give it another shot.

IMPORTANT! If you're thinking of joining one of these sites, CALL their customer service department, rather than joining online. By doing that, I saved 30% off a three-month plan. A friend recently did the same thing with Jdate.

Wow. I'm already noticing a big difference between the last time I did Match (about two years ago) to now. I just turned 40, and I'm not getting the same avalanche of emails that I did in the past. I know 40+ women bemoan this fact all over the blogosphere... but when it happens to you firsthand, it's a big wakeup call. And I refuse to lie about my age - let's see how long that lasts!

Of the seven guys I've written to so far, I've only heard back from one. Of the 15 guys who have emailed me, I'm only interested in replying to one. Then there's the 25 guys who have "winked" at me. I don't even bother with those -- I HATE winks. If you're not familiar: it's essentially a nudge that a person sends (like a "poke" on Facebook), but they don't write anything to go along with it. It implies: I'm making as little effort as I can possibly make here. Now come to my place and cook me some dinner while I loaf on my couch with a can of Bud and my hand down my pants!

I'm shocked. No word from Mr 2010 about our date tonight -- I've officially been stood up. AND I even did what I said I wouldn't do -- I texted him nearly two hours ago to ask if we were still on. No response.

It's not that I'm upset about not seeing him -- at this point, I'm fine in that regard. It's just that I'm surprised that someone could be so rude, and have such a lack of common courtesy to do this. It doesn't take much to write back (or call) someone to say, "I just can't make it tonight".

His behavior is appalling regardless, but it feels especially wrong given that we have mutual friends, and chances are pretty good that I'll run into him at a party in the near future. Where my stiletto heel just might "accidentally" stab him in the foot. Oops!


Anonymous said...

I'm also 1lb down this week. I thought it was going to be a little bit more, so was a little disappointed on the scales yesterday.

I always like planning exciting nights out for a date, I think it shows some creativity and insight to the person you are taking out. As well as showing you can sometimes come up with something quite different to do in an evening.

FierySaggGirl said...

Congrats on the weight loss!

Very impressed you gave 2010 a call.You tossed the ball in his court and I totally get that. You did not break down in any way because you now took control so you can gauge his interest level.

Best of luck with match!

mimi of sexagenarian and the city said...

Dog Man sounds good. I'm hoping to hear more about him.

And congrats on the weight're so lucky not to be hypothyroid. I can consume c. 20 oz of homemade tomato soup (bit of olive oil, onion, lots of tomatoes, water) a day + tea -- And Nothing Else -- and not lose weight. It's beyond frustrating.

mimi of sexagenarian and the city said...

Response to your update:

maybe he's dead??

Otherwise: no excuse!

Loverville said...

re: Mr 2010 flaking out -- Mimi, I thought of that! Other valid excuses would be that he's been in a serious accident OR had a family emergency and forgot his phone somewhere.

He's not very active on Facebook -- no signs of life there lately.

Hm: now -- do I mention this to the mutual friend? She's not someone I talk to on a regular basis -- really just at her regular parties. And she's known him for years... I haven't known HER very long.

Probably better not to bring it up out of the blue, unless she happens to ask.

marc said...

If it makes you feel any better, I don't think I got a total of 15 unsolicited emails while I was on any site at any time. I used to be vehemently against women lying about their ages, but I think it's so common now (like little Jewish guys adding 6" to their heights and a zero to their incomes) that you gotta do what you gotta do. Just mention in the essay what you're real age is.

FierySaggGirl said...

There you have it. He just told you his level of interest. I am so, so sorry. Reading your post was like reading my own. Go to it if you haven't done so yet. I am blown away that someone could be so rude.

Do not ask mutual friends. It will get back to him and he doesn't deserve to get any more of your energy.

It baffles me too that he got that close to date time! He'll probably call with some lame excuse but you should let it go to vm and not return it.

While I was waiting for Nice Guy to get back to me I saw he was on Match. Players are players.

I totally understand Mr. 2010 lost his shine in your eyes so let him know how much you don't care by ignoring him...even if you meet up at a party.

Anonymous said...

oh Mr. 2010.

one of my girlfriends and i have talked this type of scenario into the ground. we are sometimes accused of being cynical, because we don't expect guys to call/text/email when they say they are going to. the reason we don't expect them to is because YEARS of experience has taught us that a lot of dudes just don't follow through. boooo.

in regards to the 10lb. challenge. i was afraid to weigh myself this week. i have been going on way too many dates, all involving boozy drinks and or dinner, and too many happy hours with my girlfriends to talk about the dates. how the hell is one to diet and date at the same time?

this week i am going to try and figure that out. in the meantime, i did go jogging a couple times over the weekend to try and compensate for the restaurant food.

kelli said...

Congrats on the loss! And hrumph on Mr. 2010! I had that experience recently and came away with some valuable insight...

Silence does wonders.

A friend convinced me to stop tossing the ball back into my "unworthy's" court because he wasn't proving sufficient interest. So, I stopped returning the ball and guess what... now he can't leave me alone.

Too bad I lost interest in the time it took him to realize that I wasn't serving up the ball anymore (about 2 weeks) and met someone more interesting (and interested.)

But it was a good lesson to learn about letting myself be too available. *sigh* Why can't dating make more sense sometimes? You like someone. They like you back and whalah! :)