Thursday, January 21, 2010

Very quick updates.

Mr 2010:
After we talked over the weekend (when he canceled our plans for that same evening), I was ready to write him off, as a means of self-preservation. You know how a guy acts when he's into you? Yeah -- I wasn't getting that.

So when he texted me a few days later, I got a glimmer of hope. He was having a hellish week of work, and wanted to say hi -- if he wasn't working too late, he'd give me a call later. (he didn't.)

I later sent a breezy email, saying work was hectic for me as well, hang in there, blah blah blah. Eh, we'll see. (confession: I still really like this guy, and still want to give this a shot -- if there's a shot to be had. Just have to relax and bide my time.)

The guy I dated for a month or so from Nov - Dec, and ended because I knew he wasn't looking for anything serious right now. We still emailed once in a while, mostly light, friendly emails of the "have you tried that new pizza place?" variety.

When he suggested meeting for a bite and a movie, I figured, why not? I was very much in a Mr 2010 state of mind, and assumed it would be totally platonic. Yet, by the time Smiley and I met up, I was in the process of writing off Mr 2010. We had our usual fun and laughter, and I found myself thinking, "this is a blast! I ended this... why?". (yeah, I know the real answer, no need to remind me... he still doesn't want anything serious)

Let's just say we never made it to the movie that night...

(again, Mr Past Disappointment)
He emailed me yesterday: NY Restaurant Week is approaching, we should take advantage of it.
Me: absolutely, soon! Once I'm feeling better, I'm a little under the weather.
Him: really sorry to hear that -- can I bring you some chicken soup?
Me: very nice of you to offer, but I'll be OK.

The next day, he called to see if I was feeling better, and reminded me that I'm one of his favorite people, and that he truly does love me. It was nice to hear, though I take everything he says with a grain of salt.

We've had 3 dates -- one in August, one in September, and one in November. Clearly, there's no great romance here, but I still smile when he calls. We had a lovely phone conversation earlier tonight -- he wanted to get together at the last minute, but I'm still a bit under the weather. So we had a very nice chat, catching up on each other's lives. Maybe we'll even go out again one of these days. His schedule was too hectic this coming week to make a plan (yes, one of those), but he said he really did want to go out again soon.

That's it! Really a whole lot of nothing. Oh - I (once again) got weepy watching a Jim and Pam montage on tonight's "The Office". I think I need to start seeing a therapist again.


mimi of sexagenarian and the city said...

Gosh LV this looks really tricky & difficult: FOUR guys, each in an ambiguous relationship w. you. You *could* say, to each one, Shit or get off the pot. But you never might just be work...or the season...or something. Well, I'm glad you can still have fun with each of them when you see him. With a wonderful job and a thousand friends, it's possible to be patient with these guys.

Lifebeginsat30ty said...

Seems like a lot of activity for 'nothing'! I generally will just let things die if things aren't going anywhere. Are they all in the 'not wanting something serious' brand or know you are dating other people? Would you dump them all for one guy you felt really strongly about? ;)

*Juliette* said...

I think the therapist idea is a good one, just to sort out your feelings about what you really want. It sounds like you are getting to the point where you'd rather not date someone who's not serious about you. Therapy can help to further clarify your idea of what a relationship means.

Anonymous said...

Maybe I am thickheaded but I don't understand what went on with Smiley.

Bite and movie. You had a bite, kissed at the table and got discouraged by his standoffishness so he went home? Or you had a bite and went back to his bed? And then you got discouraged....or encouraged??

I agree with life30ty it's a lot of activity for nothing. But I don't know if you find that a positive or negative. As Juliette says, the serious factor is something hard to ignore.


Loverville said...

I'm torn -- I definitely want something serious, but I also want to enjoy the moment.

Will address this in more detail in a future post.

For now -- PT: I may have been a bit too subtle: yes, Smiley and I spent the night together. Seeing him again this weekend.

Anonymous said...

My opinion? You need to stop sleeping with these guys so quickly....I think Smiley is just having fun. Just a guy's opinion.

Loverville said...

Anon: thanks for your advice -- actually, Smiley and I first slept together after dating for a few weeks (seeing each other quite a bit) -- too soon or not? Impossible to say.

Anyway, at the moment, I'm just looking for "fun" with him as well, so it's a win-win situation. I like him as a friend *and* as a lover -- I don't see him as a potential boyfriend.

For now, my plan is to see him only occasionally, while continuing the boyfriend search...

Anonymous said...

....thus bringing up the eternal question: Does FWB ever work, or is someone bound to get hurt?


Loverville said...

PT, that's a very good question -- and I don't have an answer.

Part of me feels that any night I spend with Smiley (or any other guy with no boyfriend potential) is a night I COULD be out meeting someone fabulous.

And yet -- if I occasionally feel great with him, that fulfills some need in me as well -- albeit temporarily.

As you can see, I'm struggling with this at the moment.

Anonymous said...

i think the FWB situation can work with the right person. it has only backfired on me one time, and if i had been honest with myself, i would have realized that i was looking for more than FWB.

i'll keep my fingers crossed that Mr. 2010 steps up a bit :)