Saturday, April 10, 2010

Bond Who? - Or – I Am Officially A Dating Machine

Three dates in one day. Sounded like a fun idea at first...

Date #1: Mr Nice Guy, #162
Nice was a setup by my friend D – actually, I think she may have met him through a setup, wasn’t attracted to him, but thought he might be good for me. She insisted that he’s a great, standup guy.

We had lunch, because neither of our schedules would allow otherwise. And I DID think that he was a sweet, cool, well-mannered guy. I’d like to see him again, but his schedule seems to have him traveling a lot in the coming weeks. So – we’ll see.

Date #2: Adorable Hipster Boy, #163
(he’s 28. I have ten (ish) years on him)
I met Hipster when he came to visit a co-worker in my office last week. Co-worker was showing him around, and when he came by my office, Hipster saw a book on my shelf on a topic that he had some expertise in. I said we should discuss this further. He added me as a Facebook friend later that day, and the email convos flowed easily. I soon said we should discuss this over a drink, and we soon had a plan.

Or did we? We’d decided on a day and time, but not a place. The ball was in his court – I had emailed him last, a day earlier, saying that 5 pm on Friday worked for me, and did he have any place in mind?

By late afternoon Friday, I still hadn’t heard from him, and was convinced the date was a wash, which was fine. Thus my surprise when he called – he apologized for not calling earlier (busy busy, yadda yadda) – he was having drinks at the Soho House with a friend, and would I like to join them there? Why yes – yes I would. And proceeded to tear apart my closet in search of an appropriate outfit.

I hit it off with Hipster’s friend, a fabulous gay guy – we all work in the same industry, and it turns out that Friend and I knew some people in common. Friend left after a while, and while Hipster seemed to enjoy talking to me, I wasn’t getting “the vibe” from him.

I finally said I had to get going, as I was meeting “a friend” (actually, date #3, which I was regretting having set at this point – I was really enjoying being with Hipster). We left Soho House and at one point peered into a dark, closed store – and had one of the hottest makeout sessions I’ve ever had.

Why was it so hot? Maybe because we were hiding in a dark doorway. Maybe because he’s this adorable young thing. Maybe because it felt sneaky – he’s my co-worker’s friend. He asked if I could meet my friend a bit later – I said it was too late, as she’d already be on her way to meet me.

He walked me home (I wanted to change before meeting my friend), and we kissed more outside my doorway. He wanted to come in for “just a minute”. I said, maybe another time. When I said goodnight, he said something like, “well, I’ll talk to you”. I won’t be surprised if I don’t. And that’s okay.

Date #3: Speed Dater, #164
I met Speed at (you got it) a speed dating event a few weeks ago. Very cute, very interesting guy – but by this point, my dating energy was gone. And I was sleepy from the two glasses of red wine I’d had at the Soho House. Poor guy – I yawned half the time we were together. He seemed to have a good sense of humor about it – when he walked me home, he said he hoped we could spend another night yawning together soon.

I’m on the fence about Speed, but it could have been a case of bad timing – but if he calls, I’d see him again.

Quick Bond update… is that there really is no update. He wrote that nice email the other day. I wrote back. And nothing since. I’m definitely thinking about him less and less (yesterday’s dating marathon helped). I’m about 99% ready to write him off. It’s just what my gut is telling me to do. Life goes on.


And – I nearly forgot – I recycled a past date the other night. As in, three years past. I may have a new summer fling. Details to come!


Lifebeginsat30ty said...

Wow, you are a dating machine! I bow down to your awesomeness *bowing*

I'd be interesting in a fu post as to how many of the 3 get in contact with you after ;)

Loverville said...

We'll see -- out of all of them, I'd bet on Nice Guy. Speed, maybe -- maybe not. Hipster -- 99%, no -- which is fine, since I felt that one was a one-off anyway.

Ruby said...

You are a dating goddess! I don't think I could even begin to pull off such a lineup here in Wine Country. Not to disparage my own good looks and sparkling personality, of course--ha--I just don't think the numbers of available men are here. Perhaps it's time I branch out to San Francisco? Whatever. You inspire. :)

Anonymous said...

if you don't mind my saying, you seem indiscriminate. and you confuse this reader: you hold off having sex w bond supposedly to say you're saving yourself, but then sleep with a man you've little or no long-term interest in? you say you're going to try celibacy and sleep with what to me would be a record number of men in one month. i have to believe men can sense this from you, i don't know what to call it: flightiness, or what could easily be called sluttishness? i wonder that you haven't also developed a reputation (or an STD)? if you like bond, why *don't* you allow some room around that? he at least seemed to feel badly that he wasn't and had the good taste to say so. perhaps he was turned off by your lack of concern?

mimi of sexagenarian and the city said...

if I hadn't kept a blog, I wouldn't remember that on several occasions I had 2 dates in one day and on one occasion I was with 3 men in one evening, though the last 2 weren't exactly dates. And "was with" just means had dinner or drinks with. ---

In most of these cases, it was all about the statistics...and usually, esp. with the 2sies, I liked one much better than the other.

BUT the real 'moral' here is that spring fever (along with pollen and an intense allergy season) has hit Manhattan. You are the beneficiary (wrong word perhaps?!) of what this season does to testosterone.

I seem to remember that my multiple-dates were all in May or June (one in October).


Loverville said...

Mimi -- there IS something in the air, isn't there? Even on Match -- no emails for ages, and just this week, an avalanche!

re; the Anon who commented -- you seem to have misread something here. Not sure where you got the idea that I've slept with a "record number of men in one month" (??!) -- there was one this month, for a grand total of two this year.

And sure, I might be considering a summer fling -- lots of people do. I can't help but wonder: if you were reading this from a guy's perspective (sex outside marriage? the horror!), would you be so quick to label him a "slut"?

re: Bond -- sure, he "seemed" to feel badly about disappearing the first time. Now that he's disappeared again, I have no idea what he's thinking, and at this point, it doesn't matter. He's now history to me.

Anonymous said...

LV-do you ever accept any feedback? It seems like anytime anyone tries to point something out to you about what you may be doing wrong, you never accept it. That may be one of your know the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.....

Loverville said...

Anon: I do accept feedback, but especially from those who know me in real life. I certainly don't put all of myself out there in this blog, so while I'm open to comments and suggestions here, you have to keep in mind: there's so much you *don't* know about me.

eg, if you're the same Anon who commented on April 11 about me seeming to sleep with a "record number of men" -- that comment was completely inaccurate. Even without knowing me in real life, there's been no indication of that sort of behavior on the blog.

I DO appreciate you (and everyone else) reading and commenting - trust me, this blog is very cathartic for me, and I've even made some good friends as a result. But I'll certainly make corrections where necessary -- and sometimes I agree with comments, sometimes I don't. Much like... life.

Anonymous said...

Different anon here. I don't agree with the previous anon. I think that as long as you're enjoying yourself there's no reason for anyone to criticize your decisions on who you date, sleep with, or whatever. I do want to say that your relentlessly positive attitude is refreshing in a world of "woe is me" singles. I'm sure this helps you tremendously in both dating and life, so keep it up!

Carly said...

I love your blog! it's so funny and fresh. I'm doing something similar as well in NY. Check out my blog

Tiia Jones said...

...clearing throat and taking deep breath to avoid beind too snarky...
I haven't checked in on you in a bit so I was SUPER glad to see you had not one, but three, successful (if they aren't a trainwreck in my book, they are considered a success) dates! Fun! I'm baffled by the Anonymous responder's comments because I wonder what he expects? For you to wait at home until the perfect man waltzes through your door?

The whole purpose of dating is to cull through a bank of possible choices, and it should be a fun experience. The fact that we can make light of the situation and have a laugh at our own expense (and that of others) sometimes makes us human. It doesn't make us flighty and it certainly doesn't make us sluts. going to go do some yoga breathing... Lessons Learned from Internet Dating

Anonymous said...

1. anon is a woman, not a man
2. stands by what she said, while standing corrected on exact numbers.

and if it weren't for the fact i've been reading for over a year and yet still get interested when LV says she is *really* interested in a man then get disappointed when LV seems to flit here and there and not act like she is serious about her gestures towards making space for a relationship to develop, i wouldn't have bothered to comment. so, i'm not cheering on this particular brand of 'dating machine.' and i also took a deep breath before using that word 'slut'- but i'm suggesting she may be read this way based on reports.

Anonymous said...

LV, I do think Anon #1 is trying to tell you something important. I'm a huge fan of your blog, but sometimes I can't keep track. With Bond, it felt like you wrote off a man you really liked (not sure why), but are keeping other men you don't like on a back burner. I'm sure your not alone and maybe we all do this, but it can be confusing. I like the idea of making space for a relationship and maybe you do need to take it a little slower?

Loverville said...

As always, thanks for all the comments -- just a quick note re: the last one:

Trust me, I liked Bond a LOT, and was very hopeful about him. I don't think I articulated the timeline about him very clearly here -- I didn't want to write him off at all, but felt that I had to once I sensed that he was distancing himself (while I stayed hopeful, in the back of my mind).

He pretty much went from "we have a great connection" and "I see something here" ... to radio silence. How else could I react, but to write him off? When you know... you know.

Turns out my gut was right - I got some "closure" this week. Details to come!