I wrote back to her:
Of course -- let's just feel it out. True -- you are more reserved, and gave no indication whatsoever that you might have liked him!
... but at that moment I didn't have time to give her all the details. I had a busy day of work, and it wasn't until much later that day that I got around to emailing Rita the details of the post-speeddating drinks and smooching with Rico.
I didn't realize until just now that he was kissing you all night, but he DID call a little while ago -- and he asked if I could hang out tonight.
She was due to meet him within the hour.
On one hand -- we did both meet him at speed dating, which pretty much makes anyone fair game. On the other hand: he KNEW she was my friend. And she and I now knew that he had lied to me about not choosing any other women from the event.
By this point, we were both pretty amused that this guy could be so clueless. I encouraged her to still meet him, but to be sure to report the details. Interestingly, just before all this went down, he called me. I was just finishing work, and asked if I could call him back 20 minutes later -- he said he'd be busy from about 8:30 - 10 pm, but he'd love to talk after that time.
I later found out from Rita that she wasn't due to meet him until about 9:30, which meant that he was likely seeing her after his previous date. Classy. (Ok, true, I did that once... guilty as charged!)
Meanwhile, I had decided that I was still going to play along -- I texted him around the time we were due to talk, and said I was still busy with work, but I'd call him within the hour. He texted back that he couldn't believe I was still at work, but he'd love to talk whenever I was free. And yes, he texted this while he was still on the date with Rita.
He later texted me at 2 am: I love the way you make me feel. Seriously. Ew.
Later that night, Rita texted me:
He's a fascinating guy. A troubled guy. And a two-faced guy. He probably believes both faces. I think we can give him a verdict of smarmy. But neither of us would have known that if not for the other. He comes on strong, and seems sincere.
The next day, she gave me the full scoop:
"Well, ten minutes before he texted you at 2 am, he texted me about what a good time he had. And he had tried to kiss me goodnight--three times, while his arms were around my waist. He got a tap kiss, very chaste. But man, trying three times! Let me tell you, he says all the right things. All the right things, that is, if you can trust him. Which one obviously can not. If I were able to trust the things he'd said last night, I'm sure I would have let him kiss me -- but it felt totally wrong for a whole mess of reasons, including you!
First of all, a major topic of his conversation--I shit you not--was how much he hates "multiple dating." How he just wants to date one girl and have that one girl date just him. But of course that's so hard in the city, so he HAS to date multiple women, even though it's not what he wants. Meanwhile, he's telling me I'm perfect. I'd make the perfect companion at all the events he has to go to. He name dropped -- so-and-so is a client, etc. And I was saying all the WRONG things--I was thinking, I don't care, let's see what happens. So I was like--oh, this is not really first date conversation, but one of the reasons I multiple date is that I really want a family and a husband and a kid, and it seems in my best interest not to put all my proverbial eggs in one basket. And he's like, Wow, that's so honest, you're perfect.
And yes, you are exactly right--this is more than a reminder, it's EVIDENCE how careful we must be with the guys who come on strong. This one is off the wall! Man, it's almost a psychological/sociological exercise I'm glad we went through just so we KNOW what can happen! Everything out of his mouth was, oh, I want this to be a good date for you, I'm so glad we did this, I was like an eager puppy when you called me back, etc.
So I don't want to see him again because he's TOTALLY untrustworthy. But I texted him back that I had a nice time too. Like you, I'm just curious to see what happens."
But wait... there's more! To be continued...