Saturday, May 22, 2010

NY, I've missed you!

I'm back in NY, and thus, back in DatingLand.

In the past few days:

* I had a fifth date with Sparky. A few weeks ago, I blogged:
I'm still on the fence about him... I like him, but there's something missing. A friend once said: I want someone who can run faster than I can (metaphorically speaking). And I don't think he's that guy.

And... I'm still not sure. I'm not getting the "zing", but I'm also wondering just how important that really is. I've decided that I don't need to decide anything right now -- as long as I continue to enjoy his company and still want to see him again, that's all I need to know.

This made me like him just a little bit more yesterday -- in his profile pics, he was clean shaven in some, and slightly bearded in the others. His current look is bearded, though he said he'll shave it all off about once a year. I mentioned that I was curious about seeing him clean shaven -- so he showed up that way on our last date. I thought that was very thoughtful.

* I had a first date with a dapper older gentleman -- let's call him Dapper Dan. (date #176) Dan and I began emailing while I was out of town -- oh, he was a charmer! He asked to meet up shortly after my return -- we set a date for the night after I got home.

Dan's profile stated that he was 46, but a quick search revealed that he was actually 52 -- generally outside my dating range, but he seemed fun and youthful, and thus worth a drink. As far as lying about his age, I decided that if it went beyond a first date, I'd bring it up.

Dan wanted to plan a special night for us: he picked me up in his expensive sporty car (his self-admitted midlife-crisis purchase), and took me to a pricey steakhouse. He looked very good for his age, and he quickly fessed up the truth about his real age -- and I confessed that I already knew.

We started with cocktails, and quickly moved onto wine. We had oysters, ribeyes, truffled creamed spinach, dessert. We began kissing an hour later. (the restaurant was quite dark, and we were at a back table) We talked quite openly about what we were both looking for. We kissed more in his car after he drove me home.

And the next morning, he emailed that while he'd had a lovely time, he just sensed that this just wasn't the "it" that we were both looking for. I would have been happy to try for a second date, but was fine to leave it at that. There was just *something* amiss that I can't quite put my finger on - maybe the age difference? Eh, at this point, it doesn't matter anyway.

* before I went out of town, I had a date with Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery. Actually, "Austin" doesn't seem all that mysterious so far -- but he was born in Europe, raised in Africa, and has been a New Yorker for the past ten years. So -- he's got the "international" part going. (he also has much better teeth than his film namesake)

I'm having trouble describing Austin -- during the first date, I sensed a sweetness, a certain naïvité -- but I could be way off. We had a brief kiss goodnight. We exchanged a few emails while I was away, and have plans again tomorrow.

Maybe I'm getting that impression of him because he lacks the edge that many native New Yorkers (and / or Americans) seem to possess...? Who knows. I'll get more of a read after our next date. I DO know that he's smart, seems funny and is definitely adorable.

* François, my little French crush. We exchanged a few emails while I was away -- he wrote, we definitely should get together when you're back in town. I suggested Monday or Tuesday. No response. C'est la vie.

He's only in New York for another two weeks or so... so really, who needs a fling with a very sexy... adorable... charming guy... who has ridiculous chemistry with me...? Um...

* Curly -- the guy from OKC who I originally met ten years ago through a friend -- and I have a date set for this week. It'll be nice to have a first date that isn't completely anonymous.

* I'm not considering going out with this guy, though he did make me laugh. From a 26-year-old: After a careful analysis of your profile, I came to a conclusion that you should go for younger men. You might as well -- we never mature anyway. ;)

So. A lot of options at the moment. Not enough time.


Lifebeginsat30ty said...

Hm, so which one do we like the best? Or are they all equal contestants in this dating game? I wish I had your choices! Time schmime ;p

Anonymous said...

i think they will all end up as dead they always seem to,

Loverville said...

30: hard to say who's in the lead - different places with each!

Anon: such a Negative Nancy. Even if none of these ends up as a long-term relationship, it doesn't mean it was for naught. Good times are being had right now. Maybe even some lessons learned. I wouldn't call that a dead end -- it's a continuous journey.

Anonymous said...

Anon (aka Negative Nestor, I am a guy). I guess I am not sure what you have learned. When your relationships go south, and they all do, you do not seem to learn anything. It seems to me you keep making the same mistakes over and over again. Am I wrong? Maybe you are not discussing what you have learned here?

Anonymous said...

It's a numbers game. You just gotta do it until it happens. Each one brings you closer to the end. I wouldn't even say learning anything is the point. It's a chore and a process.

As far as the beard: My guy (soon to be my husband) does that, too. He knows I prefer him clean-shaven, so he keeps the beard/scruff to a minimum. But he's the cutest thing I've ever seen either way!


Anonymous said...

Funny, I agree that nothing ever seems to be learned and the bad dates are all just fodder for the blogs and cheerleading.

Honestly, I'm not sure it ever was interesting to read about how inadequate people's dates are. But, without any insights or lessons or whatever, the dating blogs are all getting repetitive and really boring. I give them another year, at most, before this and the other blogs all fade away.

Loverville said...

Nestor: What do you consider a relationship that has gone south? Would that just be ANY past relationship? eg, I was with someone for four years once -- I wouldn't consider that a failure. He's not someone I'd consider dating today, so you could say that's a lesson learned.

Actually -- that's a good idea for a blog post -- things I've learned. Thanks for the suggestion.

PT: so true, that it's a numbers game. And WOW, you're getting married? Congrats! When?

Anon at 4:19: if this is boring and repetitive, then why are you here? Begone with you.

I've never claimed to be a great writer -- I started this blog to vent about the highs and lows of dating in NY. In the meantime, I've discovered a wonderful community, and have made some good friends (real life friends) in the process.

Something She Dated said...

All I have to say is that I vote for youngbuck (aka the 26 year old)...not only was the little quip witty but insightful...really admitting it is half the Love the blog :)

Anonymous said...

It IS definitely a numbers game. Maybe it is one that Negative Nester can't or won't play and that's why he's a grumpy pants. We have to stick together and keep our sense of humor. I'm still rooting for Austin Powers, BTW.

Anonymous said...

Negative Nestor: I think this blog is just about cheerleading..regardless of what happens. It seems like there is a cycle that happens over and over again in Loverville's life and she should maybe examine what she may be doing wrong so she won't have to write this blog anymore. Why does that make me negative?