Tuesday, April 26, 2011

A 2nd date... a 6th date... a first date... and a blast from the past.

Since last time:

* date #2 with James Beard. Still on the fence about him. Kissed for the first time at the end of the date. He asked if I'd like to get together over the weekend - said he'd touch base the next day. Didn't hear from him til Sat, the day of the supposed date. I replied that I couldn't make it, but we'd "figure out something soon". Felt like a mutual brush-off, which was just fine.

* Had another date with Austin Powers, our 6th or so? Nice mellow evening. Seeing him again later this week, making it three weeks since we'll have seen each other. Feeling nice and easy -- there's an attraction there, but no crazy fireworks. And maybe that's OK? Anyway -- I'm enjoying taking it slowly.

* had date #185 -- ie, the 185th new guy I've gone out with since March 2005. First met this guy last summer -- he asked me out then, but I had a boyfriend. As soon as he saw my "single" status on Facebook when Jon Hamm and I broke up, he asked me out again. It took til this week to get together. I had a feeling he might not really be my type -- seemed a bit nebbish-y -- and I was right. Nice guy, but SO not for me.

* Teen Crush. We dated for a few months in late 2007, then he moved 1500 miles away. We occasionally emailed in a friendly, platonic way -- but I've never quite stopped having some kind of lingering feeling for him.

Well -- he's planning spending some of the summer in NY, and said he'd "love love love" to get together. When he and I were dating, I was at least 15 lbs thinner -- huge incentive to go to bed NOW so I can go for that run in the morning...

I told my shrink about him earlier tonight, and she told me: "The way you just smiled about him? I haven't seen you talk about any other guy like that". Sigh!!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Trip slightly delayed.

Semi-good news: my work trip was delayed for a week -- which has both good and bad repercussions. The bad only has to do with work -- and the good involves dating:

This means I'll get to see Austin Powers one more time before I go away. And we'll not see each other for two weeks, rather than three. I'm happy about that.

Had another date with him since I last wrote -- spent the evening in my neighborhood. He saw my apartment for the first time. Another really fun night together. He told me about a difficult work situation he had going on, then texted the next day to tell me it had been sorted out. I like hearing about these details of his life.

When I mentioned that my trip had been postponed, I asked if he was free to get together in the coming week. He was pretty booked up, but said he'd definitely rearrange something so we could see each other again -- then later confirmed a night.

It's feeling fun and easy and warm. I sense that he likes me (and I know I like him) -- but it's not foolishly gushy. Last year, on my second date with Jon Hamm, he told me he was smitten. I told him that I didn't want to hear that at the time, when he barely knew me... wait another six months, when it would really mean something. (six months later, things were starting to go downhill, so...)

Jacques update: or should I say, Jacques who? Not a peep from him since I last saw him a week ago -- and that's perfectly fine. I got the sense that that was just a fun fling, with no boyfriend potential.

There was a first date this week -- #184 -- with let's-call-him-James. As in James Beard -- he's very well-connected in the restaurant industry. And he's about ten years my junior.

James and I first started communicating on Match about a year ago, but it quickly took on a platonic, we-know-some-people-in-common vibe. Then I started dating Jon Hamm, and we lost touch. When I re-checked my dating email after Jon and I broke up, I saw a several months old email from James -- he'd met someone I knew, and thought of me.

I recently wrote back to him, and again, we had some nice banter with no mention of getting together. He mentioned parties and restaurant openings he often went to -- I half-joked, "let me know if you ever need a plus-one". He wrote back: how about next week? And the plan was set.

He chose a rather pricey new restaurant where he knew the chef -- we got the royal treatment: a great table, extra courses sent out, the chef coming out to say hello. The food was excellent, and James was nice enough (and rather cute -- great hair)... but as much as I tried, I couldn't veer the conversation away from the restaurant industry. It was interesting at times, but for all-night conversation? It gets a bit monotonous.

We went for another drink after dinner. During dinner, there seemed to be no chemistry at all. Then over a drink, with our barstools facing each other, there was a bit of leg caressing -- just a little. Rather subtle. Might have been the booze talking. When I mentioned that I needed to call it a night, he hailed a taxi for me, gave me a kiss on the cheek, and said goodnight.

I was surprised when he emailed the next day that he'd had a great time, and we should try Some New Place we'd talked about for a drink when I was back in town. I'd see him again -- and this time, would try even harder to diversify the conversation.

Funny -- I told a British co-worker about Austin this past week, and mentioned that I had a new date the following night (with James). She asked if I liked Austin -- I said yes. She said that, in England, it was assumed that if you'd had a few dates with someone, it was assumed you weren't dating anyone else.

Ahhh... so, so different here in NY! (and would anyone with British dating experience care to comment / verify that?)