Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Agent 99: exclusive by default?

For the past few weeks, I've mostly had a string of first dates that didn't lead to a second -- some of these were seemingly very good dates: good connection, went beyond the polite-one-drink-minimum, wound up with some smooching. But for whatever reason, I never heard from J (#196) again... and despite a telling me "I like you" several times on our first date, and sending many followup texts, the second date just never happened with D (#197). With #198, B, it was clear that there was no mutual attraction, so there wasn't even a mention of getting together again -- that was pretty clear when, as he said goodnight to me, his eyes were already searching for a taxi.

Then there was #199 -- let's call him Agent 99 for now (and yes, I'm aware that part was played by a woman). His profile was very up front about the fact that he's looking for a serious relationship, not a fling. I thought it was pretty bold to lay that out there - and he just sounded smart and interesting (and I liked his pictures as well, naturally).

I wrote to him, and only after I wrote did it occur to me that he looked vaguely familiar. When he wrote back, he recalled that we had exchanged a few emails about a year and a half ago, but apparently, I dropped the ball.

I checked that time period -- that was right around the time I was smitten by Bond, James Bond. And shortly after, began a serious relationship with Jon Hamm.

So, a year and a half after our first email, Agent 99 and I had a first date, which went really well. Then a second. He told me that he was going to take down his profile -- I warned him that we should move slowly. He said that it didn't matter to him if I kept up my profile, but he just preferred to focus on one woman at a time.

We've now had five dates, and while I wouldn't say I'm feeling "giddy", I definitely sense potential here. It's a really good feeling. I get excited when I think about seeing him again (this weekend), and I look forward to learning more about him.

Funny -- in the past few weeks, I continued to exchange emails with a few new guys online -- even had dates planned, but either I had to cancel, or the guy did. It's as if Agent 99 has an "in" with the Dating Gods that's keeping me from going out with anyone else.

So I'm stopping. I'm going to focus just on him, and not meet anyone new. I'm not ready to remove my profile just yet -- let's see where we are after a month or so.

And... as tends to be my pattern, I'm going out of town later next week, and I'll be gone for 10 days. Fingers crossed that he's still around when I get back!

*** ps: Some very good news! I went back on Weight Watchers this summer (after hitting my highest weight ever), and am just down just over ten pounds! (I went from 152.8 to my current 142.4) I have at least another 5-10 to go, but it's a start. I recently hit a plateau, but am trying to bust through that. Any suggestions are most welcome!


midnite99 said...

Yay x 2! Congrats on the weight loss, hope that continues to go well for you. Shake up your workout routine - if you usually do cardio, mix in some weight training. If you usually do weights, go hiking or running or biking. And if you already do both, sign up for class like kickboxing or Zumba or something totally different. :)

And yay re: Agent 99! My bf and I have a JDate history - he wrote me a few years ago, I ignored him; he met me at a Shabbat dinner but I don't remember him (we were both dating other people); he wrote me again and we had a few dates and I decided it wouldn't work and emailed him to that effect; he wrote me AGAIN a year and change later, and that was 10 months ago...and apparently I did whatever growing I needed to do, and this time around I recognized him as exactly who I didn't even realize I'd been looking for. We got off to a slow start - I loved talking to him but wasn't sure I was romantically attracted; I had to tell him to take it slow and let me catch up to where he was, and he listened, and that made all the difference. So - I hope that things go well for you, and that you take your time and enjoy each moment as it unfolds. And if turns out that he's not the one, I hope it's #200. Good luck & shana tova!

Anonymous said...

I know that 'plateau'...that's where I am now. The only way I can get beyond it is by substituting non-fat yogurt for whatever I _really_ want to eat...and that's hard to do in candy corn season. -- Here's hoping for #199. xx Mimi

Jordan said...

Congrats on the weight loss. And good luck with the guy!

Deevs said...

Do you meet all these guys online? Which dating site are you using?

Skye Blue said...

Congrats on the weight loss! I know how hard it can be to lose weight.

Also, good for you for making the decision to focus on one man for a while. I think a lot of us get caught up the false 'security' of leaving our options open when we're online dating.

Here's hoping after your 10 day hiatus Agent 99 and you are still an item.

Romantic Comedy Girl said...

Seriously Loverville, HOW THE HECK DO YOU GET ALL OF THESE DATES?!?!? I can't get one! Have you read my blog lately? According to Dr. Oz my vajooge is like 86 years old because I'm not having weekly sex. Frickin' Dr. Oz!

Love you! Keep having fun!!!

Loverville said...

Deevs: I'm on Ok Cupid, but it's a pretty big pond here in NY.

RGC: again, it's NY! I used to say you could have a new date here every night of the week if you wanted to ... since I hit 40, that's not quite the case. But if I tried really hard, I could probably meet 2-3 new guys a week... but that would just be exhausting.

New post coming up... it's a good one!