Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Run, don't walk.

Last time, I wrote about the Awesome First Date I'd had the night before.

WELL -- by the third date, I couldn't get away from the guy fast enough.

Date #1: fun, open, communicative guy -- possibly too open (um, considering he's a shrink...??!). Still, it felt really nice to have what was clearly a good connection with someone, along with very good kissing compatibility.

** in between dates 1 and 2: at one point we were texting -- something light and casual, and led to him saying how he was really happy he met me and was excited about getting to know me. I wrote back that this was really nice, but of course, we should take things slowly, and so on. Well -- I must have mentioned later in the convo (still texing, mind you) about taking it slowly, and he suddenly got all, "why do you keep saying that, about moving slowly? Are you afraid I'm going too fast?". I took a step back, and said this wasn't a conversation one should have by text.

Date #2: we talked about that weird text exchange, and he reiterated that he's an open book. I managed to change the conversation. Nice enough night out, but by this time, the red flags had been raised.

Date #3, a few nights later, out to dinner: I'd already seen the previews, but on this night all this guy's insecurities rose up to the surface. He went to take off his sweater, then paused, saying he was worried I might not like the shirt he had on underneath. (?!) When the waiter came for our order, he said, "why don't you give him our order, since I'll probably mispronounce the dishes". And a few other whiney things along those lines.

Oh my -- it was painful. After dinner, I dashed to a taxi, saying I had an early morning the next day. I emailed him two days later, telling him I didn't think we were a match. No reply. Done and done. All that in the span of a week.

A few recent blasts from the past:
* Jacques! We had a five-date fling back in the spring. On a whim, I emailed him recently, and we met for a drink one night last week -- I remembered that I really enjoyed his company, even if it didn't seem to have the makings of a great romance.

Er -- when I say "A" drink, I mean two and a half bottles of wine. Oh yes. We wound up back at my place, and while there was no actual sexytime, we had a grand old time indeed. The next day, my hangover lasted until well into the evening.

He was about to head out of town, but emailed me the next day to say he'd call when he was back in NY.

* Guy #172: we had a lunch date last spring (as in, 2010), but that was just before I met Jon Hamm, which led to an eight-month relationship. His profile recently popped up on Match, and I found myself wondering how we'd left things off. I checked my old notes -- I'd had a nice time with him, but in subsequent emails, I was the one who dropped the ball.

I dropped him a line, and he seemed quite happy to hear from me. We met for a drink a few nights ago -- it was a really nice time, with very easy flowing conversation. He walked me home, and went to kiss me goodnight -- and I discovered that he was a terrible kisser. Oh my -- it was just awful -- I wanted to ask, "WHY is your large open mouth trying to swallow my head like that??!".

After only a minute or so of kissing, he said, "OK, I've got to go, goodnight!", and quickly took off. No mention of "talk soon", or "we should do this again soon". Nothing.

I would have been happy to give it another shot, despite the awkward kissing -- but I'm pretty sure I'm not going to hear from him. Meh, that's fine.

And now - I have three new dates on tap for next week. Probably too much. I'll be sure to complain about that later. But if any of them leads to a successful second, or even third, date -- well, wouldn't that be something?