Monday, February 20, 2012

Big city, small world.

Over two years ago I dated this guy I blog-named Captain Awesome. We had a nice enough time -- 10 dates over a period of a month -- but it just didn't have the makings of a great romance, and things ended amicably.

The other night, my friend Q and I were comparing dating stories. She mentioned that she'd recently had four dates with some guy, but found him to be a bit whiny and negative -- for the sake of the story, she said his first name was "Captain".

I can't recall what made me ask his last name -- when I did, I was surprised to hear her say "Awesome". The very same Captain Awesome -- she met him on a dating site, as I did.

My first thought: wait! Didn't you meet him at my birthday party that year? Oh right -- she was out of the country and couldn't make it to the party.

Also, funnily enough -- I nearly brought him to one of her parties that year, but didn't in the end. Can't recall why -- could have been because she didn't have room for additional guests, or maybe simply because I felt that things were coming to an end, so I decided against it.

We wondered if we'd had any other dating overlap? So I dug through my notes...

... more on that next time!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

A first!

Things continue to go really well with Sam -- it's pretty safe to say that I'm a smitten kitten.

This week:
* I met a few of his friends at a house party -- I liked them, and got the impression that they liked me as well.

* we spent Valentine's Day together. Neither of us are into the cheesy, commercial side of this Hallmark holiday, but still thought it would be nice to just do *something* together. So we cooked dinner together. While the pasta sauce simmered, we had amazing sex, then had a fantastic dinner in our underwear. Possibly my most fun Valentine's day ever.

AND -- this is big. This is a first -- something I've never, ever done with another guy before...

I told him about the blog.

We've already been very, very open about our past dating history, including relationships, flings, marriages (we've both been married -- mine lasted about five minutes, his lasted about ten years).

Over dinner last night, we were talking about some of his dating adventures while he lived in Europe, and he mentioned that he considered publishing them somewhere -- maybe in a blog.

I started to talk about getting people to read your blog, commenting / linking to others -- and simply said: well, I know about this because I have one of my own -- a dating blog that I've been keeping for years (actually, next week will be five years -- wow!).

He was intrigued -- he wanted to know if it was completely anonymous -- yes. He wanted to know if I'd written about him -- of course. I even told him that his blog name was Sam, for Simply Awesome Man. He got a kick out of that.

He said he'd love to read it some day, but only when I felt ready. I said I'd keep him posted. He said he'd resist the temptation to Google any search terms to find it. (although! A friend pointed out that when you Google "Sam" with "simply awesome man", it's the very first link! Eh, I'm not worried).

Today, I reread a bunch of recent entries with him in mind, trying to assess if there was anything I'd be nervous about him reading. And I couldn't find anything. I've actually told him a lot of these stories (eg, the Euro fling back in October) - we've acknowledged that naturally, we've both had lives before meeting each other, and part of those lives involved dating.

So -- all still very, very good. Alas -- I'm going to miss him -- he's heading out of town for a business trip for a week, but we're already planning to come up with something "debaucherous and fun" (his words) for next weekend. After that, I'm heading out of town for 12 days, but let's not think about that just yet...

Next time: how I discovered some dating overlap with a past guy with my good friend Q!

Saturday, February 11, 2012

"Sam"

Thanks for all your suggestions on the New Guy's blog name! I'm going to go with a variation on Bella's suggestion and go with "Sam": Simply Awesome Man.

Things continue to go really well with Sam -- actually, we've had a few minor milestones of late:

One: I saw that he had taken his dating profile down, so I took mine down as well.

Two: I brought him to a friend's birthday party - my first time introducing him to any friends. We didn't stay at the party very long, as I was getting over a cold -- but he definitely held his own.

Three: We established that we're not dating anyone else. I had the feeling this was already the case, but it was nice to have it confirmed. It came up semi-organically: he had mentioned someone he was dating last year who was about ten years younger -- it came up that she wanted children, and he didn't (he already has kids), so the woman said she was going to start dating other people. (they stopped seeing each other soon after) (*note: this actually came up early on, maybe date two, that he doesn't want any more kids, and I don't want kids, period -- so we already knew where the other stood)

I said to him, "well -- since you've brought it up -- speaking of dating other people -- are you?". He said he hadn't been with anyone else since we met. It wasn't exactly a grand declaration of his feelings for me, but at this early time (11 dates in), I'm happy with it. He mentioned that he had actually taken his profile down -- I smiled and said that I had seen that, and took mine down as well. We had a lovely, close hug.

I recently re-read past posts of guys I'd dated the past few years - there's a recurring theme: any red flags I spotted early on were usually a factor in our breakup later on.

Truthfully -- I'm not feeling any red flags with Sam -- trust me, I've looked! One thing that might be a bit challenging: he's in the process of getting a new job, and it may involve some travel. Well - my job involves travel, so I'm really not one to complain about that.

As of now -- all is really good. As in, I'm-sitting-here-right-now-smiling-about-him good.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Yet another long-overdue update... this one with good news!

When I last wrote, Dec 14, I wrote that I had three dates lined up for the following week.

I'm happy to report some positive news: one of those guys is still in the picture, a month and a half later. Not only that -- I'm liking him more and more, and (wow!) seems the feeling is mutual.

Before I get to my giddy news -- I'll fill you in on some of those other December guys:

Guy #172: (the one who kissed me the way a pelican might try to swallow a huge dolphin): he actually wrote to me a week or so later, saying he'd had a really nice time, but had been on a few dates with somone else, and wanted to see where it would go. I graciously replied that I understood, and wished him the very best.

#207: 8 or so years my junior, seemed fun and interesting. On our first date, we had wonderful, pricey cocktails, then street truck tacos -- my idea of a good night. Wound up smooching in a Chase bank vestibule. Made plans for the following week -- and he called to cancel two hours prior, saying he wasn't feeling well. Never heard back from him again -- just as well.

Then there was My Current Awesome Guy (#206) -- will come up with an appropriate blog name soon.

On the first date, we had a nice enough time. Good kissing, good conversation -- but I've had enough of those on first dates to know that that doesn't guarantee a second.

He emailed the next day to say he'd had a really nice time. We went out again the following week. And again shortly after that.

Fast-forward -- we've now been out nine (9) times. Yes, I keep track of these things. And he's just plain awesome. Cute, smart, thoughtful. When I was out of town for two weeks at one point, he continually stayed in touch -- even on days when he knew I wouldn't have email access, just so I'd have his notes to come back to.

Last week, I was feeling under the weather on a night we had plans -- he brought me red tulips (my favorite), and we had a low-key night, skipping the party we'd planned to go to.

I've sometimes dated guys in the past who I felt weren't really right for me because I felt that I "should" try to like them -- they were nice guys who deserved a shot, but in the end, I had to admit to myself that I just wasn't feeling it.

There's no "try" with this one - I just plain like him. It feels really good – and really easy – and really promising. No angst. No worries that I’m trying to like him because I “should”. I just do. A lot. And the fact that the feeling seems mutual makes it all the better.

More to come! Wish me luck in the meantime... this weekend, we're going to meet a few of each others friends for the first time...!

And if you have an appropriate blog name for this awesome guy -- well, I'm open to suggestions!