Saturday, March 10, 2012

Live and learn.

Last time, I wrote about dating overlap with a friend – I had to dig through some old notes to remember details about Captain Awesome, from two years ago. I don’t read through these notes all that often, so it was a real eye-opener. I went back to the 2009 notes, then way back to ’05.

Not just my blog notes – I keep a diary of sorts on my computer, with far more intimate info than I’m ever prepared to share here.

Something I learned about myself – re-reading some of these older notes, I can see a HUGE difference in my attitude towards dating between now and, say, six or seven years ago. In the past, if I had a great time on a date, but didn’t hear from the guy again, I’d get really worked up about it, wonder what went wrong, and would do my best to get that second date. I pursued them the way I pursued my career: I thought being tenacious would be a good thing.

Now? Feh. If I have a first date that seems fun, but don’t hear from the guy again? There’s my answer – he’s not interested. End of story – onward. Life’s too short to worry about a guy who isn’t interested in me. Sure, I wish I’d grasped this much earlier, but better late than never, eh? Older and wiser, and all that. Maybe I'm more confident now, or maybe I'm just a lot more comfortable with single-ness.

(as an aside – most of these guys – especially the one-off dates from 2005-ish – I barely remember. However, several are still acquaintances, and I have become rather good friends with a few of them.**)

** Sidenote: really nice story here. I met Sexy Dork in 2007 – after a few dates, I realized I wasn’t feeling “the” chemistry, and was honest with him – we stayed in touch as casual acquaintances, going on group bike rides, that sort of thing.

Last year, I posted some pics on Facebook from my beach house – Sexy Dork wrote to me asking if that was “Jane” in one of the pics – he’d dated her briefly earlier in the summer, but ended it to date someone else (apparently, he ended it with her in the most respectful, honest way possible).

As chance would have it – he’d just stopped dating that other person. I mentioned to Jane that we had this mutual contact – and she perked up somewhat when I said that he was no longer dating that other woman. She said that if he were to initiate contact, she’d consider going out with him again. I may have hinted as much to him – and he was pleasantly surprised to hear that.

Long story short – they’ve been dating ever since, something like seven months – and seem very happy together. I’m so happy to have played a part in rekindling that flame!

Speaking of flame – I’ve been out of town the past two weeks, and am very excited to see Sam again tomorrow night. We emailed every day, occasionally sending pics of what we were up to. (he had organized a trip to visit some family to coincide with the timing of my work trip – very thoughtful).

I’m a huge planner (but have learned to curb that when it comes to dating), so it warmed my heart when he emailed the other day asking what my availability was for the next week, as he was free X day and X day, and did I want to go to some particular event with him?

All good and smiley here – that is all. ☺